Busi bling

Lekota in lycra …
The former King of Cope, Terror Lekota, says he is not upset about being dropped as the presidential candidate for the party, but his recent behaviour suggests otherwise.

Scheduled to meet with traditional chiefs during a campaign blitz in rural Limpopo and to introduce Mvume Dandala to the people, Lekota sent a succinct SMS saying he had an emergency in Cape Town and couldn’t make it. It is unclear what the emergency was, unless it was hurricane force winds battering the Cape Argus Pick n Pay Cycle Tour, where I spotted him supporting the nattily attired cyclists of team Cope.

The usually eager-to-comment party communicators haven’t yet come up with an explanation. Maybe the thought of Lekota in cycling gear was too much for them to contemplate — as my personal trainer likes to say, “Lycra is a priviledge, not a right”.

Where’s Mbeki?
Watching the tour reminded Busi of the previous time she was in the Cape for the 70th birthday bash of FW de Klerk. Tout le monde was there, except, that is, for the plenipotentiary to the courts of Robert Mugabe and Omar al-Bashir. Asked where her husband was, all Zanele Mbeki could manage was a shrug, and a resigned “I don’t know”.

I’m all for spousal independence, but surely Thabo shouldn’t really leave the greater Killarney area without telling his wife? Start worrying, Zanele, when he says he’s going out to buy bread — you can get a Poilane loaf in Jo’burg, but it tastes so much better in Paris.

De Lille’s 15 minutes
Patricia de Lille made the wise move of skipping iKapa too. She had a guest appearance in Egoli — Place of Gold recently, playing the role she knows best — herself. She was clearly taken with the opportunity, saying that she had dreamed of featuring in the country’s longest-running soapie. Heads up Pat, politics IS the longest-running soapie in this country. You’ve already hit the big time. Whether being on Egoli will win you any votes in Egoli is another matter altogether.

Shaiking up the media
The Shaik family had a tough week. They have to put up with the return of brother Schabir, who I hear can be very demanding with that bell he keeps by his bed, and with a horde of journalists who insist on questioning whether the only fraud more famous than Onse Carl really truly is knocking on heaven’s door.

Who to call to set the record straight? Since Jeremy Gordin finished his Jacob Zuma “biography”, and was uncermoniously booted out of the Sunday Independent, trailing his 2008 journalist of the year award behind him, the family has had no reliable outlet in the counter-revolutionary press.

No problem. Gordin, now training the young shock troops of the Daily Sun in tabloid tactics, was happy to pocket any resentment he may have felt towards his sometime employer to file a quick interview with the junior Shaik, Yunis, for the Sunday Indy. Not a single awkward question about Zuma’s role in the parole sullied the placid surface of their little chat.

Golden Brown oldies
Everyone else is aiming for the so-called youth vote, but the Western Cape Premier Lynne Brown is aiming for a more reliable demographic.

Lynne has offered the senior citizens in Cape Town a free ride on the gravy train. They are to be railed in at no cost from their homes and then hosted at the Cape Town Convention Centre where they are to be entertained by an Idols contestant. The cynic in Busi would say that Lynne’s newfound love for the golden oldies has something to do with her hopeless electoral position, but maybe no-Botox-Brown has learned a bit of old wisdom: we’ll all get there someday, and when we do, we’ll still appreciate a little youthful booty.

Don’t question us
The ANC last week invited the media to an ANC breakfast interaction with intellectuals and academics. It looked like it would be an exciting encounter down at the University of Johannesburg Business School, what with the ANC bringing its heavyweights, including its president Jacob Zuma and a few NEC members.

The media was made to listen to Zuma fulminating on the need for the development of graduates with an “African identity”. The slight problem was that when the real interaction was about to start, with the intellectuals posing questions to Zuma, the media was told to leave.

What was the ANC more afraid of? The bourgeoisie liberal media again misquoting Zuma’s education polemics, or the critical comments from the academics?

Zille on Zuma’s head
Can you tell a town by its election posters? That’s what I’ve been wondering about since receiving an SMS from cousin Innocent, who works as a land meter for the Tlokwe municipality in Potchefstroom. Innocent recently attended a workshop on the Social Discourse of the Provincial Government Landscape in an Integrated South Africa in Kimberley and pestered me with SMSes of all the towns they passed with their Translux bus.

“Only FF+ in Potch. Weird.” he texted as they began their journey. “Wolmaranstad for Zuma!” he texted a little later, and then “Zille on Zuma’s head in Bloemhof and Christiana! Hehe!”. A few hours later my phone beeped again: “Welcome to Cope Town — moerse yellow billboard as you enter Kimberley.” And the next day: “ANC cheapskate ink. Zuma now white.” The last SMS from Innocent, which made me fear that he learned nothing from the workshop, came on the Sunday morning: “Some darkie chick smiling for DA in Kimberley. Bloody coconut. Do they think we r stupid?”

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