There is a scene in Alice Through the Looking Glass where Humpty Dumpty tells Alice that he has received a gift in celebration of his unbirthday. If you are reading the book the way you are meant to (something no true Alice fan would ever admit to) this notion will strike you as absurd.
But look around you, and the idea of celebrating every day that is not your birthday suddenly seems pretty relevant. Just this week it was announced that Nelson Mandela’s birthday will be celebrated internationally as Mandela Day from now on, and while it makes sense to celebrate his very existence in such a way, I did find myself glossing over the date and hoping someone would remind me closer to the time. That’s what happens with all the other Days of Great Significance that come up in the year, and, God knows, there’s a lot of them.
Humans have been around for long enough and have caused so many periods of awfulness that, with only 365 days in a year, it seems pretty obvious that many of those days would fall on dates commemorating the worst of it, or celebrating those times when we got over ourselves and finally got it right, conquered some oppressor or made some significant progress as a species.
And if it isn’t history providing us with reasons to light candles or take holidays or get drunk, religion is happy to help out, even for those non-believers who are just grateful for an extra day’s leave (thank you very much). Any leftover days are mopped up by greeting card companies, and before you know it, the year is fully accounted for. Even February 29, when it can be bothered to come along, has been claimed.
This week saw the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall, which seemed significant to me because it commemorated something that had actually happened in my lifetime. The notion that time had past seemed concrete, unlike the OTHER biggie of the week, Armistice Day, where 91 years seems impossible to comprehend. Of course, it is up to the individual to decide what matters most to them, but I would imagine most people will find the commemoration of events they witnessed or lived through more poignant. And of course, TV and the internet does make that a lot easier.
I have vague memories of watching the Berlin wall coming down on TV, mulleted East Germans with stonewashed jeans partying like there was no tomorrow, and I’m not sure if watching Mandela raising a clenched fist on the day he was released, or images of aeroplanes aiming for the twin towers, will ever lose their power as they are replayed year after year.
But these are public, and the celebration or commemoration of these moments is, for the most part, impersonal. Of course, we are encouraged to do things that make these things personal, in holding silence, or educating ourselves (like visiting the Apartheid Museum on Sharpeville Day, or the Military Museum on D-Day), or donating time or money to causes that have been granted a whole day to themselves. But how many people do this? I know I don’t, although I DID traumatise myself with Holocaust documentaries last month (the 70th anniversary of the start of WWII).
And what of personal celebrations? Everyone has a few. I remember being inconsolably jealous as a little girl when I found out a Greek friend of mine got a birthday AND a Saint’s Day (name day) each year. With presents on BOTH of them. Since then I have made up for this by awarding myself a whole birthday month, as well as demanding that my move to Jo’burg, the day I got my first tattoo, the day I got my licence and the day I first dealt with a rain spider by myself be recognised as high days and holidays. And I was born on a Wednesday, so throw every Wednesday into the mix as well. Someone always joins in. Especially when I’m buying the drinks.
But how would I like these unbirthdays to be celebrated? Milkshakes for everyone (pink), and compulsory readings of Winnie the Pooh and Mozart recitals? How would you have YOUR unbirthday celebrated?
The whole fantasy sadly falls apart when you realise that, beyond claiming the day, no one can force anyone else to care. As for Mandela Day, how many will actually spend 67 minutes in the service of those who need it, nice idea though it may be? I like the idea, and next year, I might take this notion to heart. I just hope that someone reminds me closer to the time.
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