We bring you the A-Z of what was “hot” and “not” in the Noughties and predict what’s likely to thrive, survive or take a dive in the next 10 years.
Ayoba(ness)
The new name of cool. The affirmative Sharp! to everyone’s Heita? So what if it became an MTN brand name? It’s also our 2010 call of joy: Ayoba!
Burkini
The antithesis of the itsy-bitsy-teenie-weenie, this swimsuit for Muslim women covers everything except face, hands and feet. It has yet to make a splash in South Africa. Probably because the sistas don’t want to hit the pool looking like deep-sea divers.
China
Suddenly everything is made in China — even 2010 World Cup merchandise. And, being the world’s fastest-growing economy, the Chinese are leading the rush to buy up Africa’s resources. Mandarin classes, anyone?
Deployment
The parliamentary D-word stands for deployment of comrades. Or, to put it another way: getting hooked up with a top job away from the media spotlight. It’s also a favourite word in ANC-speak: our 12th official language.
Eskom
They gave us load-shedding and romantic candle-lit dinners. Then they sent our electricity bills rocketing — in a recession, nogal. Eskom: aka Eishkom aka winner of the Dim Bulb of the Decade Award.
Facebook
When your dad and the kid you used to babysit both ‘friend” you online, you know social media has hit critical mass. In South Africa you don’t even need a computer to join the fun. While there are around a million local Facebook fans, there are close to 10-million MXit users. But will MXit lose out as more cellphone users get internet?
Geeks
Geek is the new chic. So it’s goodbye Isidingo and hello to PS3, Xbox 360 and Wii. Also, two words: Bill Gates. And another two: Barack Obama.
Homegrown movies
Move over Leon Schuster, there’s more to South African film than slapstick. Yesterday, Tsotsi, Jerusalema and White Wedding wowed the critics this decade, while District 9 left global sci-fi fans baying for more. Looks like ‘Sollywood” is here to stay.
International organisations
Those self-styled guardians of human rights and dignity: the United Nations, World Bank and International Criminal Court. They’ve proved they can deliver promises, but can they provide Africa with more than a false sense of security?
Jetsetting
Bali, Thailand and their colour-running faux-designer clothes have been shoved off the holiday map by all things African chic — especially Mozambique. And you can drive there, so you’re not just going local: you’re also going green.
Khanyi Mbau
Khanyi Mbau shocked the masses when she proudly called herself a gold-digger on a local TV chat show. Two Lamborghinis later she is still South Africa’s own ‘Parys” Hilton. Though Babalwa might have other ideas.
Land
The most divisive item on our political menu. Who’s still got it? Who should get it? And does Zuma ever hear the word ‘Zimbabwe” in his secret nightmares?
Mowaly
Virtual money has finally made its way to the tip of Africa. Mowaly lets you do electronic payments with your mobile. You don’t even need a bank account. Will we swap our purses for cellphones in the next decade or will we stick with cold, hard cash?
Nando’s
South Africa’s best-known export since Nelson Mandela. With its flame-grilled chicken and even spicier adverts, Nando’s is firmly planted in our consciousness and offers a taste of home to Safas far away.
Oprah
When the talk show queen calls it quits next September, fans around the globe will be in mass mourning. Who else will dish out love advice and rave reviews of Woolies seed bread?
Public transport
Hijackings and drunk driving are serious party-poopers. So it looks as though public transport will soon be the only way to go. Now it’s up to the BRT to work, Metrorail to run on time and the Gautrain to emerge from the tunnel.
Questionable footware
Jelly shoes shimmied their way back into the shoe shops this decade, closely followed by their uglier sisters: the dreaded Crocs, which (dis)graced the feet of our Olympic athletes. Whatever happened to ‘local is lekker”? And why no beaded Blahniks?
Reality TV
Between Janine and the cucumber, South Africa’s dual Idol winners and the bride who can’t find a decent partner even with a free wedding thrown in, is it even worth asking where reality TV is headed in South Africa?
Skandaal
We’ve had a decade of Hansiegate, Zumagate and Joostgate. Not to mention the ongoing Agliottigate. When will our politicians, sportsmen and businessmen-cum-drug-lords learn? Eventually, we’ll all know what you did. Or better yet, who you did.
Thabo
He wore stately suits and sounded intellectual by saying ‘African renaissance” every five minutes, but Thabo Mbeki quickly became our version of Dr No. First he denied the link between HIV and Aids. Then he said there was no crisis in Zimbabwe. Now, apparently, there isn’t a war in Darfur either.
Ubuntu
Once the Rainbow Nation’s feel-good mantra, ubuntu was claimed by Mark Shuttleworth and transformed into a catch phrase for responsible geekdom. But where was it when the shacks were being burned in May 2008?
Vuvuzela
The metre-long plastic icon that hails our victories and howls our defeats. On a loud day, it even inspires Japanese football chiefs to legislate against it. Proof that horned creatures shouldn’t be allowed within range of a soccer pitch?
World Cup
2010 is the new Y2K — it’s looming, we’re preparing, but will we survive it? And what do we do with those stadiums afterwards? But one thing at a time — let’s try to make it through the first round.
Xenophobia
It became a hit word in South Africa. Even children knew what it meant. A tragic outburst of anger towards our African brothers and sisters lost us respect on the continent.
Youth leagues
Our national political stalking horses. In the dying moments of the decade it was Juju who galloped into the headlines. But will South Africa’s youth leagues stay forever young? And were they ever really Ayoba?
Zuma
Dethroned as deputy president, he turned into Kanga Man, before morphing into the unstoppable Zunami and moving into Tuynhuys. At last his cranium is a shower-free zone. But will it stay that way?