Staying at Buckingham Palace is not exactly the same as crashing at a friend’s digs for a few days, as President Jacob Zuma found out this week.
Zuma, with his newest wife, Tobeka, plus a handful of his nearest and dearest in Cabinet, scored two nights in the most exalted house in England when they moved into the queen’s official London residence on Wednesday morning at the monarch’s personal invitation.
The chosen few Cabinet ministers were Collins Chabane, Lindiwe Sisulu and Maite Nkoana-Mashabane. The party was completed by the inclusion of high commissioner Zola Skweyiya, his wife, Thutukile, and Lakela Kaunda, head of the president’s private office.
It was clear from the start that Queen Elizabeth II, a stickler for rules, was going to be a good, if stern, host.
The Zuma party was settled into its own living quarters in the palace, which has, according to South African head of state protocol Kingsley Makhubela, more than 400 rooms. The president’s corner of the palace also boasts its own entrance and a fully equipped office.
But what may sound like a teenager’s dream came with a predictable spanner in the works – a curfew.
According to Makhubela, the Buck House flunkies made it plain that they expect all guests to be home and tucked up in bed – preferably their own – by midnight.
“They were very clear in reminding us that you can’t come in late at night,” he said. “This is not like a hotel, where you can come and go as you please and they asked us not to come in at 1am and disturb the queen.”
A simple handshake was also a carefully considered matter. “You know how South Africans give you a handshake that shakes your whole body? For the queen it must be different; the handshake needs to be of a much softer touch.”
Ever the gracious host, the queen threw a banquet for her new South African friends on Wednesday evening in the palace ballroom, but even that did not get under way without a few golden rules being learned off by heart.
Men have to remember to bow when they meet the queen, but unlike the Chinese, who bow from the waist down, the English prefer a brief but distinctive nod.
Women are not expected to curtsey, but they do have to wear long dresses: miniskirts are forbidden. Tailcoats and white ties are obligatory for men.
Not short on good manners himself, Zuma brought the queen a ceramic artwork from the popular Ardmore studio in the Champagne Valley in KwaZulu-Natal.
Prince Philip will be treated to a chess set with crafted Nguni warriors as pieces.