/ 29 June 2010

Corné and Twakkie back to shave the golden pig

Corné and Twakkie have once again slapped on their ‘snors” after two years of being lost in the wilderness.

Corné (he’s the tall one, with his arm in a sling) found himself stranded on an island somewhere off Arabia, where he had been celebrating the new year, with only sand hamsters for company.

‘There was only one tree, so I got a moer of a tan.”

One day, while making sand-angels for company, Corné heard a ‘strange voice of heaven”, telling him to ‘return, return, return to the shaving of the Golden Pig”.

On the other side of the world, Twakkie was ‘growing pigs”. At work on a farm in Bronkhorstspruit, he heard this same voice. And that’s when the two decided to reunite and spread the message of ‘choosing life over kak”.

New life for the duo

Since their days on SABC2, a lot has changed for Corné and Twakkie. Just the mention of Mamma Marna had Corné kicking up the woodchips on the Village Green floor, and storming off, muttering, ‘How can you guys ask me such things – it’s immature reporting bullshit!”

Twakkie was kind enough to explain that Marna had, in fact, passed into the world beyond.

Mention of Brakkies, their beloved Jack Russell, didn’t go over any better. Twakkie looked on the verge of tears, and eventually choked out that Brakkies had died of old age.

‘We lived a very happy life,” he said.

Corné and Twakkie are not alone, though.

‘We have Son of Brakkies now – S.O.B,” Corné said.

Fun at festival

Fans of the duo can look forward to seeing their favourite characters ‘racing and ramping” in caravans on the big screen later this year.

‘There will be many actions,” Corné said.

There will be special ‘naked” appearances by Brangelina Jolie, Tom Cruise, Spiderman, Superman and Princess Di and will also feature Leon Schuster ‘acting good”. Twakkie added that audiences could look forward to ‘lots of boobs and naked peoples”.

This piece is from Cue Online, a project of Rhodes University’s New Media Lab.