The South African Sports Awards in Sun City made a comeback on Sunday with the “razzmatazz” promised by Sports and Recreation Minister Fikile Mbalula.
With United States actresses Vivica Fox and Regina King, and singer Brandy, the awards were meant to be a glittery party after two years out of action.
But the Twitterati were out in full force throughout the evening, making sure they left their disdainful remarks all over the social media site.
By the end of the night “Brandy”, “Manana” and the hash tag #Razzmatazz were trending in Jo’burg — and for good reason. As @JoziGoddess tweeted, “there’s nothing Twitter loves more than a bad awards show”.
Here’s what we hated about the awards:
Mbalula’s ‘American crushes’
Many tweeps were annoyed with the minister’s choice of “America’s D-list stars”, as @JarredLove13 said. Vivica Fox’s last (watched) movie was Kill Bill, which came out eight years ago.
While Brandy tried to invoke the goddess within, during a performance of her 2004 hit Afrodisiac, it didn’t exactly get the crowds thumping as much as “Mbaks” may have hoped.
And we’re guessing you don’t know who Regina King is? Point proved.
As @Makaziwe said: “Did the minister invite all his American crushes? Because I’m very confused by their presence”. The three nineties African American celebrities may have been a big deal when Mbaks was a young and impressionable man, but they have next to nothing to do with South African sports.
KB arriving at the venue Jacqui Mofokeng-style
Singer and actress KB arrived inside the enclosed venue in a Lexus SUV. The last time someone did that was the 1994 Miss South Africa crowning when 1993 queen Palesa Jacqui Mofokeng waved to the crowd from a brand new Mercedes 190E after handing the title over to Basetsane Makgalemele. Sorry KB, we weren’t quite feelin’ you with that move.
Barefoot Brandy
Mbalula did inform everyone of the dress code in his own endearing way when he said “Dress-up or deal with the fashion police. No pink suits, it’s a black tie event.”
It seems his VIP guest Brandy didn’t get the memo. Attired in what looked like a dazzling beach towel during her performance — a complete summer look including barefoot dancing — Twitter erupted with comments about her appearance for “an African crowd”.
@Mabine_Seabe tweeted “I know this is Africa Brandy, but shoes are not optional.”
Vivica Fox not learning how to say ‘Danny Jordaan’
@VinylAngel tried helping Fox along the pronunciation of the administrator of the year’s name by explaining “It’s Jord[aaaaah]n Vivica”. Really, if you’re paid our tax money to present an award, at least learn to say the receiver’s name properly. Even if you ask for extra payment for the added effort afterwards.
Ernie Els’s speech
Ernie Els, like Mbalula, didn’t care about the fact that he was speaking to a young audience. Els was unable to attend the awards as he was in the US playing the Wyndham Championships, which is part of the PGA Tour. In a video message he thanked the country for the prestigious Lifetime Achievement Award, over what felt like many lifetimes.
@Toomeemosiane tweeted, “And then comrade Ernie Els graces us with his yawnfest speech!”
Els’s mother, who looked exhausted after sitting through the message, dragged herself to the stage to collect the award on his behalf, which forced viewers’ eyelids to stay open just a little longer. Now we know why people are clapped off the stage at the Oscars.
Carol Manana’s dresses
Possibly the most talked about topic on Twitter, TV presenter and sports journalist — and hostess for the evening — Carol Manana did not impress with her series of outfits.
@MissMercia wanted to know “Who killed a flamingo and draped it on Carol?”
The poor presenter was left trying to find herself in most of her dresses through the night.
After yet another wardrobe malfunction, user @NtsikiG asked, “Is it Halloween yet, Carol?”
It’s a pity she decided to end off the evening with a rose garden across her bosom in that exact shade of peach no one wants for their wedding. Better choice next time, Carol. We hope.
Stick with us, minister
As the event drew to a close tweeps became more forgiving. It seems we’re hoping for a better year in 2012.
@TMakCC rounded up the ceremony quite perfectly: “Mr #Razzmatazz Mbalula, good show sir. Let us stick to our local is lekker and current actors, and make sure everyone wears shoes in 2012.”