The church of the UFO: Out of body or out of mind?

The first thing you need to understand is that all of history is a lie. The second is that the truth can be confusing.

It goes something like this. In the beginning there was a universe that contained, at one level, physical matter. Through this physical universe travelled an alien race looking for potentially habitable planets. Nearly four-billion years ago those aliens stumbled across Earth and thought it good, so they started seeding the planet with microscopic life. A billion years or so later they returned with an upgrade package, a process repeated a couple of times, and gradually building up to bigger animals.

Much later, a few hundred thousand years ago, perhaps, a second alien race stumbled across Earth. They also thought it good because it had gold, which they transformed into a magical substance to eat. The newcomer aliens created mankind as slaves to work their mines, perverting a stolen recipe for supermen. Homo sapiens was born.

When they departed, let us say about 4 000 years ago, they left behind a race psychologically broken through abuse, a lot of myths about our origins and a ruling class of humans with access to some of their technologies, such as the ability to move huge stones effortlessly. These humans hid their secrets well and used them to remain in power and develop weapons that could literally be earthshattering, and formed the Illuminati. Then, from 1930 onwards, a third and fourth race of aliens came knocking, one to sell these behind-the-scenes rulers machines for time travel and teleportation, the other (which may or may not be related to the original terraformers) to help free humanity from its shackles. Most recently, just in the last month or two, the good aliens won, using interstellar beams to destroy secret bases via earthquakes, setting us on a path of peace and love and prosperity — if we choose to have it.

That is one version of the past of the planet you could synthesise from the UFO Science & Consciousness Conference held in Johannesburg over the last weekend in November. Not that it would have been easy to extract that much — for the 14 expert speakers this background stuff is passé, not even worth debating.

Evolution is clearly a ridiculous idea and those Creationists are just plain silly. Listening to mainstream science — with a few notable exceptions — would be begging to have the wool pulled over your eyes and the media and history books were designed to mislead. No, these thinkers, researchers and explorers came to the rather drab and boring Linder Auditorium at the University of the Witwatersrand (in two cases through Skype) to spread the word about more important and practical issues.

The energetic biomimetics specialist, Claire Janisch, wanted to explain how nature gave clues to develop astonishing new technology. Self-proclaimed “proud conspiracy theorist” Louise Claassen wanted to debunk the myth that the Freemasons were still noteworthy and to promote the health benefits of transdermal magnesium. Geeky molecular biologist William Brown sought to interpret DNA and how exposing it to light could help humanity transform. And those were just the ones with no direct dealings with aliens.

These speakers were more interested in delving into the real questions. Such as, for example, how do we prevent the Illuminati from giving us cancer? Or which ancient technologies do we harness to give us free energy? And how do we apply the frequency of love to fix our DNA and develop powers such as telepathy? And what do we do now that the aliens who were planning an all-out invasion of Earth have been defeated?

Along the way they managed to tantalise their enthralled audience — strictly middle class, almost universally white and generally as ordinary looking as you could hope for — with a couple of juicy titbits.

Of course there is native life on Mars, duh, and human colonies too. Teleportation and time travel? Both not only possible, but in regular use on Earth. And indeed, aliens run absolutely everything, even if sometimes they act by way of a secret human elite who happen to think they are in charge.

“The United States presidency right now is a CIA project,” said Alfred Webre, a lawyer in a sharp suit, explaining how time-travelling agents started grooming Barack Obama well before he reached prominence. Webre also confidently talked about aliens swimming in the reflecting pool in Washington while time-travelling Mayans looked on. But let us not get stuck on that.

Such manipulation of human affairs and curiosities spotted by only a handful of witnesses is incidental to ufologists (or UFOlogists, as some prefer to spell it) and worthy of notice only to the extent that, for instance, mind control, which uses cellphone towers to broadcast signals and television to indoctrinate, must be recognised and resisted.

Whereas tourists to this realm — the amateurs who came in their hundreds over the course of three days to hear about space ships whizzing about the place — fuss about the mechanics of interstellar travel and the need for all that anal probing when aliens abduct people, our native guides, those who write books and consort with aliens, see this all as secondary.

The great battle
Even the political machinations of our creators and overlords are only really important in terms of what they can tell us about the great battle being fought in heaven, the struggle between good and evil and how we can play a part in securing victory for the former. In the last decade, especially, ufology has turned solidly spiritual, incorporating thinking around crystals and meditation and astral projection into itself.

See, some aliens, such as the ones who present themselves to the enlightened as orbs, want to help humankind reach its full potential, which includes having 12-stranded DNA involving light instead of just the two-strand, regular-matter, regulation kind we have right now. Other aliens, who hide in bases under the oceans, feed off our fear and want to steal our land and resources.

The tussle between these two groups explains, well, everything: disease, the high price of energy, natural disasters, paranormal abilities. Ally yourself with the evil aliens and you can gain great temporal power, but you will ultimately lose to the good guys — and lose your soul, to boot. Align yourself with the forces of light and your path will be somewhat harder and certainly more humble, but the ultimate rewards vast.

If this sounds somewhat religious, well, it is. Ufology draws heavily on a number of religions and their teachings, analysing Genesis in astonishing detail, looking for truth in tarot cards, finding wisdom in ancient Egyptian beliefs, collecting artefacts that once had a place in temples in South America and Southern Africa. Although ufologists find the idea that their beliefs could be seen as religion distasteful, at best, it comes complete with a creation story and angels and demons fighting through human proxies and holy relics, such as the crystal skulls that bestow power on their owners but require belief to operate. “There are blocks built into them, so if any nefarious person tried to come up to them and use them they would not work,” said keeper Jennifer Welch.

It has the idea of a second coming and subsequent salvation, though at the hands of extraterrestrials rather than a deity. It offers a path to enlightenment, an understanding of everything. It has an afterlife, though that is just another dimension rather than a heaven. It even has heretics, although believers who recant are thought to be victims of mind control and propaganda, to be pitied rather than prosecuted.

In fact, there is only one important test to identify a religion which ufology fails: it can be proved. Or rather, it should be provable, given the right kind of resources.

Frustrated US filmmaker Kerry Cassidy needs donations to keep gathering interviews from those who have experienced alien influence and collate them, which should eventually amount to unassailable proof. Former Hollywood screenwriter Lloyd Pye needs $2-million to recover the genome from his star-child skull and prove that it was not a human being. Arizona cotton farmer David Hudson is selling $500 memberships to his Science of the Spirit foundation to fund the testing of the medical efficacy of a number of preparations made from precious metals that can have negative weight and cure cancer, for now, and some day allow humans to live for 1 000 years. James Gilliland does not need money directly, but if you book a stay at his Enlightened Contact with Extraterrestrial Intelligence ranch in Oregon, you can see them for yourself.

Each of these individuals has all the proof they need for themselves, of course, but accept that “morons”, “idiots”, “academics” and “scientists” may require more. For them, though, it is not about proof, but about advancing knowledge for the sake of all humanity. They aim for nothing less than to change the world.

Michael Tellinger, a 1980s music star, organiser of the Johannesburg conference, author of the 2005 book Slave Species of God and a growing presence on the international ufology circuit, is the embodiment of that ethos. He believes Southern Africa was once a giant industrial site, with interconnected stone structures generating vast quantities of power used to mine gold and make crops grow better.

Some of these sites are still active to a degree, according to his readings, and contain everything we need to figure out how to run South Africa, perhaps the world, on free energy. He is also trying to set up a political party on the side, based on his concept of “contributionism”, the defining characteristic of which is that it has no money, no value assigned to goods or services, no barter, no trade and therefore no evil.

These believers share some ­notable characteristics. The majority of them have what the rest of the world may consider a persecution complex, being, as they are, convinced that malevolent forces subject them to psychic attack and mess with them in more tangible ways.

“We’ve had our lives threatened, attacks on any electronics we had — I can’t believe they messed with the audio of my presentation,” said Cassidy, the filmmaker, after she experienced a sound failure on stage.

They tend to cite peer-reviewed research on matters such as genetics and quantum mechanics, then give the same weight to outrageous pseudo-scientific claims, and rubbish any science that disagrees with their conclusions. They typically rely on photos — blurred, out-of-focus and otherwise highly dodgy — as proof of alien manifestations and out-of-body experiences.

If they have one defining trait, however, it is their capacity for belief. They believe one another and believe in the importance of the work they are doing, with the same genuine fervour as the charismatic preachers they so often resemble. If you choose not to believe, as the majority of people stubbornly do, ufology may offer no succour.

But you sure cannot complain about the entertainment value.

Speaking in tongues
Here is how the official biographies of favourites at the UFO conference might read:
Alfred Webre
A lawyer in the District of Columbia and most recently a judge on the Kuala Lumpur War Crimes Commission, which found Tony Blair and George Bush guilty of war crimes after a three-day trial in which the two were defended by amici curiae that drew from their published works. He runs, a website about applied law in the universe. In 1971 he was detained by a group of 50 agents from organisations such as the CIA after they had gone forward in time to retrieve a book he would write in 1999. He has been under time-travel surveillance ever since. He has weighty documentary evidence and witness reports on United States facilities for teleportation and time travel and is in second-degree contact with the Andromeda Council, a coalition of good aliens from various star systems that recently defeated evil aliens on Earth — and generally — in a police action. He also has voluminous proof of life on Mars.

Jennifer Welch
A South African psychologist and clinical hypnotherapist — and the keeper of two crystal skulls. In a past life she travelled to Earth as part of an alien delegation. She was also present in Atlantis at the time of its catastrophic demise and may have been partially responsible for that disaster. She bought her first skull, using a considerable amount of pension money, after a series of traumatic events that included her husband being in a serious accident and cancer diagnoses for both her and a son. Her worries that it might be a scam were laid to rest through automatic writing. She was given her crystal skulls — and permission to work with them — to help restore the appropriate balance between masculine and feminine energy on Earth. She does this by travelling the world, taking the skulls to various mystical places.

Laura Eisenhower
The great-granddaughter of former US president Ike, who she never met in the flesh. But he has been her constant spiritual companion and the only member of her family who approves of her life. After turning down power and privilege, she learned the truth about the world. A US government group applied mind control to a former boyfriend to use him to convince her to join a secret human colony on Mars. Having failed in that effort, they tried to destroy her emotionally. Although there have been determined efforts to subject her to mind control these may have slackened because her opponents realised that she would just “reincarnate even more pissed off”. Her mission on Earth is related to a rebalancing of masculine and feminine energies. She is acquainted with people who have teleported to Mars — and at least one time traveller.

Basic truths and tenets of ufology
If you are going to understand the world of UFOs, there are some fundamental things you need to know; stuff about which almost everybody in the field agrees. Here is a primer of the most important things adherents say are being withheld from us.

There are dozens of flavours of aliens involved in human affairs right now, or historically. Some moulded and guided the human race, in ways good or bad, others just pop in every so often to have a look around. All have astonishing mental powers and science based on concepts of which we have only ever caught a glimmer. Some of the most important are the Draco reptilians, which are essentially pure evil, and the Coneheads that used to inhabit South America and explain why the Egyptians had such a thing about weird headgear.

The most important alien group, this race of beings were considered deities by ancient groups, including the Sumerians and their neighbours. But actually they were the alien creators of mankind, initially cloned as a slave species for use in mining. Not that they were the creators of the world, mind you — that was probably another alien species or consortium. Needless to say, they were evil bastards, with individual exceptions that just prove the rule.

Chemtrail aeroplanes
They look like aeroplanes that cause a wake in the sky, but those in the know say they are used by the United States government to spray population centres with a variety of chemical agents. Some, it seems, keep fourth-dimensional visitors at bay. Others may help in mind control or to spread viruses.

Crystal skulls
As seen in the last Indiana Jones movie, these are named for what they appear to be: roughly human skulls made of translucent crystal. There is pretty decent evidence that the first one was around by 1856; others have come into circulation recently, though none from excavations that were documented. According to their discoverers and keepers, they are physical manifestations of alien thought forms that have powers, including telling the future. They may also be information recorders, or step-down transformers to allow higher beings to communicate with humans without destroying them, and have various other mysterious powers. They are not, however, actual skulls of actual aliens; that would be silly.

To the rest of the world, the High Frequency Active Auroral Research Programme is a research project involving several US defence organisations, based in Alaska since 1993, searching for better radio communications. But ufologists know that the technology is intended — and, indeed, used on a regular basis — to control the weather, cause earthquakes and perhaps for mind control as well.

If you think you know what the Illuminati are all about you are probably wrong. Ufologists tell us there is much misinformation planted by this group and their abilities to control minds make everything said by anyone suspect. Mainstream theory, however, is that they are run by a subset of the Ashkenazi, who made deals with aliens which gave them access to technology that could include time travel and teleportation. They practise mind control, enslave people through money, feed off the energy of others, wish to murder two-thirds of the population of the planet — via the United Nations, as one mechanism — want to install a single world government and generally control just about everything.

People who know the truth are compelled to blurt it out, but doing so will get them killed or worse. So they use Hollywood to disguise the truth as fiction. That movie Contact? It is true. So is the BBC series Torchwood and the Stargate one. In fact, most sci-fi contains at least a germ of truth.

These spheres are unknown to unbelievers and somewhat poorly understood even by ufologists. They are most likely aliens, visitors from parallel or higher dimensions, souls, or energy craft of some kind. They are probably all around all the time — you just need to train your brain to be able to see them — or perhaps manifest only when called through meditation. They vary wildly in size and behaviour. All photographic evidence is of poor quality; this may be because of the way they interfere with space-time.

Star child skull
This appears to be just a remnant of a sadly deformed child, found in Mexico in the 1930s, but ufologists know it actually came from an alien, or perhaps a human-alien hybrid. Although small it is not a child, it could regenerate teeth and the DNA is extraordinary, but it will take another $2-million to be sure.

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Phillip De Wet
Guest Author

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