The little formal instruction I’ve received on writing, mostly through the sage advice of practised hands, urges me to write what I know best. The best kind of writing, after all, is borne of a lucidity of thought and feeling, often the inexplicable magic of a few moments, suspended in the space of our being. It is an irrevocable assertion of self in the fluidity of language. So, when I’m writing, I’m putting forward pieces of myself for all the world to see, but I’m also confronting myself. I’m confronting those murky places in me I usually don’t want to see, thank you very much.

I am however now forced to offer some reflection here on motherhood, and explain perhaps why we’ve chosen to dwell on this particular aspect of humanity in our annual celebration of women.

Offering a clear opinion on motherhood here, when I’m not a mother and not exactly that way inclined right now, compels me to ask myself where I’m going, where I’ve been, and where I want to go. It does prod me to question if I really am happy to know that my fertility is waning.

Reflecting on motherhood here gives me pause, because I am almost afraid to see how mothers will react to see me issuing a rejection, tentative though it may be, of motherhood. But it is exactly those ties with my own mother, with my own idea of how she sees me — and more importantly, how I see her — that reveals a whole history of me, my mother, and her mother.

Because motherhood, and the intricate balances of our being children to women while sometimes being women ourselves is fraught with the complexities of gender, representation, culture, race, religion and when all that is exhausted, bullshit. But the state of being a mother, and what that means to live in this world, is not just a women’s issue. Yes of course it is the biological imperative of women. But when we reduce motherhood to just a women’s issue, we fail to perceive that it is fundamentally a human issue: how well, or not, women can choose to be mothers, how well, or not, women can fulfil themselves while being mothers, how well or not, women can be citizens of this world while being mothers, is not the sole purview of women. It is the essence of our being, and the bedrock of a just, equitable society.

This is for our mothers, and their mothers. It is for us, the children of mothers.

Khadija Patel is editor-in-chief of the Mail & Guardian

We make it make sense

If this story helped you navigate your world, subscribe to the M&G today for just R30 for the first three months

Subscribers get access to all our best journalism, subscriber-only newsletters, events and a weekly cryptic crossword.”

Khadija Patel
Khadija Patel pushes words on street corners. She is the editor-in-chief of the Mail & Guardian, a co-founder of the The Daily Vox and vice chairperson of the Vienna-based International Press Institute (IPI). As a journalist she has produced work for Sky News, Al Jazeera, The Guardian, Quartz, City Press and the Daily Maverick, among others. She is also a research associate at WISER (Wits Institute for Social and Economic Research at the University of Witwatersrand) and has previously worked in community media. In 2017, she was among 11 people from across Africa and the diaspora who were awarded the inaugural Africa #NoFilter fellowship from the Ford Foundation and in 2018, she was awarded honorary membership of the Golden Key Society. She is passionate about the protection and enhancement of global media as a public good.

Related stories


Already a subscriber? Sign in here


Latest stories

Kenya vote chief declares Ruto president-elect

The deputy president has been declared the winner of the close-fought election, despite several commissioners rejecting the results

Fraser argues he could overrule parole board on ‘terminally ill’...

The supreme court of appeal asked how it could accept this when the medical reports had been redacted

Why is turning the tide on SA unemployment so tough?

South Africa’s jobless rate is one of the highest in the world — and bringing it down significantly could take years

Iran ‘categorically’ denies link with Rushdie’s attacker

Rushdie, 75, was left on a ventilator with multiple stab wounds after he was attacked at a literary event Friday in western New York state

press releases

Loading latest Press Releases…