Quick: The IFP’s Velenkosini Hlabisa (above) and DA’s John Steenhuisen were the first to find cabinet space. Photo: Darren Stewart/Getty Images
Thursday.
After a month of protracted negotiations, orchestrated leaks, threatened walkouts and horse trading, President Cyril Ramaphosa’s national unity cabinet has finally been sworn in.
There is still drama in Gauteng — the province has Panyazaed itself into a minority government — but at national level the ministers and deputies are ready to start work.
Ramaphosa’s cabinet is a lot different from his last one.
Former enemies — the Democratic Alliance (DA), the Inkatha Freedom Party (IFP) and a small army of others — are now what ANC secretary general Fikile Mbalula calls strategic opponents.
They are in the cabinet along with the ANC cohort, while former friends — the Economic Freedom Fighters (EFF) and the uMkhonto weSizwe (MK) party — are outside the tent, as it were.
They will spend the next five years in the opposition benches after pricing themselves out of the market by demanding Ramaphosa’s removal and usurping his right to convene the unity government talks.
Both had painted themselves into a corner before the hustling began in earnest and ended up watching the country’s future unfold from a distance.
Not the outcome those who told former president Jacob Zuma the ANC would work with him after he took away its majority nationally and turned it into a 17% party in KwaZulu-Natal would have predicted — but an obvious one nonetheless.
It was certainly obvious to the DA’s John Steenhuisen and the IFP’s Velenkosini Hlabisa, both of whom already had an eye on a deal with the ANC from the day Zuma announced that he was endorsing the MK party to stand against his former political home.
The two were the first to make the leap from the Multi-Party Charter for South Africa to Ramaphosa’s proposed government of national unity without so much as a whisper of complaint from within their ranks.
While the EFF and the MK party were refusing to take calls — or posturing and making outrageous demands — the rest of the party leaders were doing the maths and getting their suits dry-cleaned for the cabinet swearing-in ceremony.
One wasn’t particularly surprised that EFF leader Julius Malema didn’t end up serving in Ramaphosa’s cabinet.
Malema doesn’t even want to share power with his deputy, Floyd Shivambu, so there was no way he was going to want to share it with Cyril — or Steenhuisen.
Even without the EFF and the MK party on board, it’s still going to be standing room only in Ramaphosa’s cabinet, with all the additions he has made to accommodate his former enemies.
There are more parties inside the government than outside it this time around, so we have ministers — and deputies — who have more staff members than votes.
From the time it became clear that there was no outright winner, the opponents of cadre deployment have been lining themselves up to become deployed cadres. Likewise those who criticised the size of Ramaphosa’s cabinet, which was far too large — in their eyes — ahead of the 29 May poll.
Fast forward by four weeks, and there’s no mention of cabinet bloat — or cadre deployment for that matter — from any of the coalition members, let alone any complaints about the executive pay packets they used to whine about. Likewise the ministerial houses, bodyguards and all the other perks and privileges that come with a cabinet seat.
Those won’t be mentioned until the next time elections come around.
It’s going to be crowded in Cyril’s cabinet room.
Crowded, and sweaty too, with ministers and deputies from a total of nine of the 11 parties involved — although the deputies get to sit in the kiddies’ section when the adults are seated at the cabinet table.
One wonders who will win the battle for control of the aircon remote once things get going at the lekgotla that Ramaphosa has convened for next week.
My money is on Cyril — he is the president after all — and has the powers to fire any minister with the temerity to set the room temperature at 1652.
The aircon won’t be the only thing that gets adjusted.
A month ago, Ramaphosa was calling everybody at the cabinet table “comrade”, something he has been doing since his days as deputy president.
Now, it’s going to have to be “compatriot”, “fellow South African”, or “honourable member”, and a move away from revolutionary terms of address, given the composition of his new cabinet.
It will take Ramaphosa some time to get used to the new cabinet room nomenclature and he’s likely to drop the odd “Comrade Hlabisa” or “Comrade John” before he hits his rhythm.