Former president Jacob Zuma at the uMkhonto Wesizwe (MK) party rally at Orlando Stadium in Soweto. Photo: Delwyn Verasamy/M&G
It is official; Jacob Zuma’s former lover, the ANC, has ditched him just as he was made to dump his “nine wasted years” on Valentine’s Day in 2018.
The only solution for Msholozi is to relinquish the services of Tony Yengeni — the ANC’s former chief whip in parliament — as his spokesperson in rekindling his strained relationship with the erstwhile liberation movement.
Rather, Zuma should petition the Mzansi Magic show, Love Back, if he wants to be in the ANC’s good graces.
In case you missed it, the former state president — who is renowned for his whim for multiple wives and lovers he waivers to wed — displayed a penchant for political polygamy when he started a new party, uMkhonto weSizwe (MK), which campaigned against the ANC in the build-up to the 29 May national and provincial elections.
Despite renouncing the ANC and calling on all and sundry to trust his nascent stokvel when going to the ballot box, Zuma maintained that his blood was still black, green and gold — saying that he remained a “loyal member” of the party he led from December 2007 to December 2017.
Unfortunately for Zuma, Fikile Mbalula, the ANC’s secretary general and custodian of who gets to tug at the party’s heartstrings, was in palpable pain on Monday when he announced the end of the road for the ANC’s former president, who had gone on bended knee begging to be kept — to paraphrase the United States ballad band, Boyz II Men.
“The NEC [national executive committee] reflected on the matter and took a decision that we must charge Jacob Zuma. That is what we have done and this is the final part to it,” Mbalula asserted.
“Jacob Zuma impugned the ANC. He brought us below 50%. We are grappling with that now … we are dealing with the consequences of Jacob Zuma’s actions against the ANC.”
The secretary general was alluding to the electoral pummelling the ANC endured in the May elections, when it went from an outright majority of 57% in 2019 to a paltry 40% this year.
This was due to, in large part, the 14% national vote the MK party received mainly from the ANC’s previous heartland, KwaZulu-Natal, where Zuma’s former party nosedived from more than 55.4% of the votes in 2019 to only 17.6% two months ago.
It was these “irreconcilable” differences, Mbalula said, that had resulted in the ANC’s NEC, which is the party’s highest decision-making body between its five-yearly national elective conferences, to finally break the bond with the son of Nkandla.
The end of the relationship reminds one of how Zuma was forced to resign the state presidency by the ANC — ironically, on 14 February 2018 — a day before the party was expected to support a parliamentary vote of no confidence sponsored by the opposition benches.
So acrimonious was the end that he was not allowed to finish his 10-year presidential term that began in 2009, having been accused by his successor, President Cyril Ramaphosa, of overseeing the nine wasted years of state capture.
Six years ago, Zuma accepted his party’s decision. This week, however, he has sent emissaries to negotiate his stay in the ANC while leading another party that is in direct opposition to the governing organisation.
One of the negotiators is Yengeni, who graced news broadcaster Newzroom Afrika’s studios on Monday to argue that Zuma “needed to be acknowledged [for his role] in the liberation [movement against apartheid] and to the ANC”, adding that the former president felt “disrespected”.
Yengeni’s attempted intervention followed MK party spokesperson Nhlamulo Ndhlela telling the same news broadcaster on Monday that the ANC “oppresses its own kind”, which is what a jilted lover would do.
“What is sad is that even those in the ANC that might be holding this [expulsion] in jubilation and being excited, they must remember [that] if this can happen to [former] president Zuma, this can happen to them,” said Ndhlela, who is also an MK party parliamentarian.
This is why a more appropriate forum for Zuma to state his case for a return to the 112-year-old movement would be Mzansi Magic’s popular programme, Love Back.
For those who are not familiar with the show, it attempts to reconnect former lovers, where the person asking for the “love back” remains anonymous until they appear in front of the unsuspecting romantic interest to apologise for indiscretions that led to the break-up.
The risk with this is the rejection and embarrassment that comes with being told to take a hike on national television.
But it would be a better scenario than the absurdity of leaders of a party, MK, advocating for its leader, Zuma, to remain a member of another political organisation.