Staff Reporter

Research recently undertaken at the University of North Edmonton in Canada has been published to some controversy in a doctoral thesis entitled Causative Social Metaphors of Male Shaving Habits. The thesis exposes and analyses what it terms “shaving behavioural patterns”, formulated from about 700 observations over three years.

There is much to be said for the movement under way among leading South African media players to make plagiarism not only an acceptable practice in local journalism, but to ensure that it is also legal.

"The best years of my life have fled from me. From this day forward I vow to adopt a more relaxed approach towards social intercourse and to take the whole idea of fun more seriously." Robert Kirby is away this week, recovering from an overdose of Christamastide benevolence. Not the Mail & Guardian fills the space with a guest piece from one of South Africa’s most gifted writers, Darrel Bisto-Gravy.

Sources close to <i>Not the Mail & Guardian</i> have revealed that a luxury wine estate near Stellenbosch, including its winery and classic Cape Dutch homestead, has been secretly acquired by the Department of Foreign Affairs. The estate and its buildings are being prepared and will be set aside as a retirement home for Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe.

The ever-popular and lovable alter-ego of South Africa’s brilliant, savage and unremittingly talented leading satirist, Pieter-Dirk Uys, is to undergo a sex change operation.

The attractive wife of often embattled Western Cape African National Congress politician and con man, the Reverend Allan Boesak, is to be given a high position in the ANC’s new specialised anti-corruption task force.

South Africa’s Department of Labour is in the process of wrapping up its investigations into the cause of a cableway accident that injured two people last Friday in Hartbeespoort in the North West. The final report on the accident is expected to be finalised in the next four weeks.

South African Airways and Singapore Airlines said on Thursday they would comply with a controversial new US government directive banning passengers from loitering near toilets on flights to the United States.

Nasa is delaying rolling its <i>Spirit</i> rover off the spacecraft that brought it to Mars and on to the Red Planet’s rocky soil in order to give engineers more time to clear its path. The earliest the six-wheeled <i>Spirit</i> will roll on to the Martian landscape is January 14, or about three days later than originally planned.

Ever wanted to learn how to build your own landmine? Or rate your American intellectual capacity by putting yourself to the test called Not all Americans are stupid? Or for some light reading ,try Noam Chomsky’s views on why the US invaded Iraq. And garden gnome lovers best tread carefully when reading Ian Fraser’s column this week …

From what has otherwise been a dark and difficult week, Roy Clarke has gleaned some reasons to be cheerful. On Monday, the 62-year-old’s name was splashed across the Zambian <i>Daily Mail</i> in a headline that must have puzzled its readers: "Roy Clarke to Be Deported."

A bicycle bomb exploded on Tuesday on a street in the southern Afghan city of Kandahar, killing at least 10 people, and shattering cars and windows in the area, witnesses and police said. The victims all appeared to be Afghans who were walking on the street when the blast occurred.

Working as a journalist in Zimbabwe today is something of a challenge, it might euphemistically be said. Zimbabwean editors have to tip-toe their way through a legislative minefield designed to cause them and their publications as much harm as possible.

The country’s biggest banking group Nedcor (NED) said on Monday it could not comment on speculation that its parent, UK-listed listed South African insurer Old Mutual, has approached several leading international banks to help sell its stake in the bank. Old Mutual also emphasised it was committed to Nedcor.

Cameroon’s government has shut down twelve independent radio and television stations in the southwest of the country in a fresh crackdown on the media during the run-up to presidential elections due in October, according to international media watchdog Reporters Sans Frontieres.

South African-listed health and beauty retailer New Clicks Holdings (NCL) has agreed to sell its Australian businesses, comprising the four retail brands Priceline, Priceline Pharmacy, Price Attack and House grouped in New Clicks Australia, to a private equity consortium for Aus$107-million.

President Yoweri Museveni’s decision to resign from his military rank of lieutenant-general in order to concentrate on party politics will have little effect on the ongoing effort to root out the rebel Lord’s Resistance Army from northern Uganda, according to an opposition MP.

"Seeing as it’s just after the media atrocity known as ‘Christmas’ I thought it’d be useful to find out a bit more about this Jesus person who keeps being mentioned on boring TV shows. Luckily this Jesus guy has his own homepage." And for those of you in need of the ultimate hangover cure, Ian Fraser has just the tonic.

The United Nations’ (UN) World Food Programme (WFP) set a record in 2003 by providing 110-million people with food aid, the highest in its 40-year history and up from the 72-million people it fed in 2002. The most recent recipient of WFP aid was Iran, which was hit by an earthquake on Friday.

The world number-five gold miner, South Africa’s Harmony, on Tuesday announced that it had decided not to exercise an option to buy shares in Australian group Bendigo Mining NL due to Harmony’s exercise price being above the company’s share price.

A British traveller and former fireman who was killed in the Iran earthquake was given a solemn send-off in Bam on Monday by former colleagues who, in an extraordinary coincidence, were part of the international rescue team combing the devastated city.
<li><a class=’standardtextsmall’ href="http://www.mg.co.za/Content/l3.asp?ao=29083">Iran quake: 28 000 bodies recovered</a>

South African-listed life insurer and financial services group Liberty (LGL) needs to use some of its excess capital, estimated to be as much as R2,5-billion, in order to improve its capital efficiency, according to global investment bank Merrill Lynch.