For some men, a spat over a parking spot is about respect, dominance and power, leading to violence
On Saturday, 12 October, two men died in Mahikeng after stabbing each other, allegedly over a parking spot.
While the details are not yet clear, a video shows two bloodied people fighting for possession of a knife, while bystanders beg them to stop.
Pictures and videos of the incident, which has shocked the residents of the North West town, were spread on social media. Many were horrified at the motive for the fight.
When road rage escalates into fatal violence, as in this instance, it prompts us to ask an important question: “What lies at the heart of this deadly aggression?” The answer is deeply tied to hyper-masculinity, a trait that involves the exaggeration of masculine stereotypes such as aggression, strength and dominance, even in mundane situations.
Road rage is usually triggered by an action of another motorist, resulting in aggressive or even violent behaviour. For some men, driving is a stage for asserting control and dominance, with the car becoming an extension of their identity. Situations such as competition for a parking spot or confusion at a traffic light can be perceived as direct threats to their masculinity, triggering aggressive, often violent, responses.
Statistics show that road rage incidents are overwhelmingly perpetrated by men, reinforcing the idea that aggression behind the wheel is tied to societal expectations of masculinity.
According to a survey conducted by the American Automobile Association, men are more aggressive drivers than women. It reports that men are much more likely to display behaviour such as tailgating, speeding, aggressive hooting and dangerous lane switching than women.
A South African survey by 1st for Women reported that while women frown upon reckless activities such as running red lights, they admit to speeding and aggressive hooting. But that is the point — for men, road rage is not just about anger behind the wheel, it’s about the dangerous expectations placed on men to “prove” their masculinity through aggression and violence.
The escalation from parking to violence
That a dispute over something as insignificant as a parking spot can result in a murder is not surprising to many people. These confrontations trigger a deeper desire for men to defend personal space, self-respect and, most importantly, their masculinity.
From a young age, men learn that backing down from a challenge is synonymous with weakness. Refrains such as “ya banna ga e fele” — meaning a fight/ issue between men never ends — reinforce the idea that once a man has been disrespected, there is no peaceful way back.
From football grounds where a rough tackle is met with jeers and comments that could instigate a fight, to a myriad other situations, many men, especially in South Africa, learn that violence is the only way to solve a problem.
Boys are taught that to be “real men” they ought to be aggressive and always in control. These lessons are reinforced by the media, popular culture and their peers who are also carefully navigating a complex world, glorifying aggression as a hallmark of manhood.
Another aspect of road rage that can escalate into violence is a deep sense of injustice and wounded masculinity. This highlights how disregard for societal rules and norms, like breaking basic traffic etiquette, can provoke feelings of disrespect and lead to the need for a man to “restore” his sense of worth.
In an incident in Mooi River in 2012, Luchelle Joubert verbally abused Shakile Saktu, accusing him of taking his parking spot. Saktu, feeling humiliated, retaliated by threatening to attack Joubert with a wheel spanner. Joubert stood his ground and told him he was not afraid of him.
In a last-ditch attempt to protect his ego, Saktu ran him over with his car, resulting in a 7-year prison sentence for attempted murder.
The case shows how hypermasculinity — both in Joubert’s refusal to back down or de-escalate a dangerous situation and Saktu’s violent response — can turn a trivial disagreement into a life-threatening encounter.
Both men exhibited the need to assert dominance and maintain their power, especially in the presence of family members and bystanders, turning a minor incident into a near-fatal one. Through the lens of hyper-masculinity, a parking spot is no longer just a space for cars, but a battleground for respect.
This issue is not just about road rage but about how societal ideas of masculinity manifest in violent ways, even in the most mundane experiences. Unfortunately, this mindset is not only limited to cars but is found in all aspects of life — relationships, the workplace and even public spaces, often leading to violent outcomes.
The cost of hyper-masculinity is not only felt by those who exhibit as it has a has a ripple effect, normalising violence, perpetuating the toxic behaviour.
To prevent more needless deaths, we need to challenge the way we view masculinity and aggression, on the road and beyond. Only after doing this can we exist in a society where disputes, big or small, can be resolved with peace and empathy instead of violence.
Orefile Babeile is a master’s student in international relations at North-West University.