To bring children up to be smarter, stronger and kinder, fathers and male caregivers can redefine masculinity through play. Photo: File
In a recent article headlined “Male disengagement is a growing concern” (Mail & Guardian, 14 July 2025), Yonela Faba sounded the alarm on a growing crisis — the disengagement of young men in South Africa.
While young women surge ahead in education, home ownership and financial independence, many young men are falling behind — disconnected from school, work and society. This imbalance, Faba warns, is a social concern and a potential flashpoint in a country already grappling with patriarchal violence and economic fragility.
Faba’s analysis is insightful. While it highlights the real issue of male disengagement, it also opens the door to recognising the quiet, yet significant, efforts of men who are redefining masculinity. These men are not just providers or protectors in the traditional sense, they are nurturing, emotionally present caregivers who are making a profound effect through early-childhood play.
This emerging model of masculinity is essential for fostering a more balanced and compassionate society.
The power of play
In March 2020, a needs assessment by Sesame Workshop International South Africa, in collaboration with D3 Systems in Gauteng, the Free State and Eastern Cape, showed that, while many fathers faced time constraints and cultural norms as barriers to play, they deeply desired to be more present in their children’s lives.
In fact, 91% of surveyed fathers believed their child learned through play. Many saw play as a way to bond, teach values and break cycles of absence from their own childhoods.
Yet, play remains gendered and sporadic. Fathers were more likely to participate in physical activities like soccer, while creative or imaginative play was seen as the domain of mothers. In rural areas, harmful cultural norms and logistical barriers — such as needing permission to see one’s child — further limited male involvement.
This is where interventions, like the initiative Takalani Sesame: Transforming Gender Norms and Advancing Child Wellbeing Through Innovative Male Caregiver Engagement Initiative in South Africa, become transformative.
Through a 12-week media campaign targeting fathers, the programme significantly increased their confidence and joy in playing with their children. Fathers reported feeling more connected, more supported by female caregivers and more aware of the emotional and developmental value of play.
One shared, “I could see the connection growing between me and my child, not only the child, but also his mother and my mother-in-law. The whole family dynamic changed.”
Social fatherhood: A hidden resource
The State of South Africa’s Fathers Report 2024 expands this narrative by introducing the concept of “social fatherhood” — the idea that fathering is not limited to biology but includes any man who steps into a caregiving role. In a country where only 35.6% of children live with their biological fathers, this reframing is not just inclusive, it is essential.
Social fathers — uncles, grandfathers, coaches, teachers — play critical roles in children’s lives. Yet, they remain largely invisible in policy and programming. The State of South Africa’s Fathers report calls for a broader recognition of these men, not just as stopgaps for absent fathers, but as legitimate, valuable contributors to child development and social cohesion.
The documentary amaGents resonates deeply with our work at Sesame Workshop. We have witnessed how male early-childhood development practitioners, like those featured in the film, are redefining masculinity through care. These men are not anomalies, they are pioneers of a new narrative — one where being a man means being emotionally available, playful and present.
Re-engagement
Faba is right to sound the alarm about male disengagement. But the solution is not to lament the loss of traditional masculinity, it is to invest in new models of manhood that centre care, connection and co-parenting.
This means expanding father-focused early-childhood development programmes is essential to equipping men with the tools and confidence to engage in play and learning. These programmes challenge gender norms that frame caregiving as “women’s work” and instead celebrate male nurturance as strength.
Recognising and supporting social fathers through inclusive policies, community recognition and training is crucial. Creating safe, non-judgmental spaces for men to reflect on their own childhoods and redefine what it means to be a father is vital for fostering a new generation of emotionally available, playful and present fathers.
The economic rise of women is not a threat to men — it is an invitation. An invitation to reimagine fatherhood, not as a role of dominance or distance, but as one of presence, play and partnership. If we want to build a society where we all contribute to helping all children grow smart, stronger and kinder, we must support and enable all fathers — biological and social — to thrive.
When fathers engage in safe, equitable play with their children, it creates a harmonious environment where everyone benefits. Children grow smarter, stronger and kinder under nurturing and responsive care. This positive growth extends beyond the individual, enriching the entire community.
Erika Jooste is the education and gender manager at Sesame Workshop International South Africa and Dr Faith Kumalo is a public health and education policy leader writing in her personal capacity.