You stuck it out after Sharpeville '61. You watched in horror as the townships exploded in '76. You decided not to follow suit when many of your friends and relatives packed for Perth in '85. And your faith and patriotism were vindicated by the momentous events of February 1990 which heralded a brave new era for South Africa. But all the dreams have now gone up in smoke. More people are dying each day than during any township uprising of the 1980s or the armed struggle. Men bristling with deadly weapons march through the streets of our major cities while the police simply look on.
Down in Ulundi, the bespectacled chief routinely threatens to lead his impis to war if he doesn't get his way. And the pretty picture of Nelson Mandela and FW de Klerk shaking hands and moulding a happy future for us has vanished as the two "men of vision" daily sling mud at each other. Ah, for the Old South Africa…
Nonetheless, by the looks of things, most of the chickens took the gap in the last run in the mid-1980s and those left behind seem to be the real bittereindes bent on sitting out any crisis. In the white suburbs, there is a large core of people hanging on to foreign passports, but for now they're sitting tight. Embassies and removal companies note that although they continue to receive inquiries about emigration, these have actually tapered off in the past few years.
The inquiries apparently peaked in the run-up to the March referendum as newspapers and Nation al Party politicians threatened Armageddon should the no vote carry the day. "I expected a major flood of inquiries in the past week, but surprisingly there have been very few. People are sticking it out," says Stuttafords Van Lines general manager James Moirdeen. For those who are seriously 'considering leaving- forget it. You can save yourself between R12 000 and R 18 000 in removal costs by just gritting your teeth through yet another political crisis.
The most popular foreign destinations have tightened the screws on immigrants in recent years. The "land of the free", for instance, has stringent regulations for immigration. One has to wade a mire of bureaucracy to get into the United States: you will have to be "nominated " by a family member or a prospective employer to obtain a work permit, and then you have to wait five years before citizenship is bestowed upon you. If you happen to have "extraordinary abilities" in the arts or in your line of work, things will obviously be a little easier.
But then, you don't really want to live in America. Violent crime is rife and car hijackings are becoming fashionable there too. Why flee to a nation fraught with almost as much racial strife as ours? And you wouldn’t really want to replace Pik Botha with Dan Quayle, would you? Nor would you want to go and bury yourself "down under". Australia may beckon to those experienced in sheep farming or teaching – the skills most in demand there but you still have to pass through a bundle of red tape. Family ties and an employer recommendation are important considerations for would be "Strines". If you lack these, you must at least pass a "points test " which takes account of your English proficiency, your skills worth and your age.
"If you speak English, are well educated and are under 39, you stand a good chance of being accepted," says an embassy spokesman. Once you're through the bureaucracy and are settling down; you 'll have to contend with newspaper reports of compatriots of a darker hue dying in detention and official claims of suicide … sounds familiar? You'll hear the same old stories about the "blacks" being lazy and having a great affinity for hard liquor, and you'll swear you were back in the good old RSA. Neither is Europe particularly appealing. The collapse of eastern European communism, tribal strife in the former Soviet republics and Yugoslavia and the poverty further south have resulted in a huge exodus of political and economic refugees – many of them to South Africa. Those hoping to use their British passports as a ticket to tranquility had also better think twice.
The United Kingdom, like every other country on the globe, is experiencing its worst recession since World War II, so unless you have exceptional gifts or unusual skills your chances of finding a job there are slim. You will also be confronted by the rigours of Thatcherism, or Majorism, which amount to much the same thing. Youthful beggars asking for your new pence will bother you on the tubes.
And worst of all, you will meet homesick South Africans who gather every month under the banner of the Scatterlings Club and talk about how they wish they'd never left die Republiek. So when negotiations next dead lock and you itch to move off else where, just stop and think. South Africa may be bad, but where else in the world is the clink called "correctional services" and riot cops "internal stability units"? Where else do political parties issue "flexible ultimatums"? Things may look bleak, but they are almost always bleaker on the far side of the hill.
This article originally appeared in the Weekly Mail.