Food: Monica Hilton-Barber
If you’ve decided to let Richard Branson do the jetsetting and simply put your feet up and chill out this summer, then check out the hot spots in the Mpumalanga Lowveld.
The coolest place to be this season is the Artist’s Caf in Hendriksdal, on the N37 from Nelspruit to Lydenberg. Nestled in the mountains and surrounded by lush vegetation, this restaurant was once a railway station servicing the gold mining and timber industries. It’s now a delightfully laid-back rural Italian caf run by Trevor Dodd and his sister Brenda. Visitors can opt to sit indoors and enjoy the gallery with its ever-changing exhibitions of fine art and traditional craft or they can relax outdoors under the shady trees or on the verandah.
Staying with the railway theme is Shunter’s Express near Sabie. The owner, Match Ribbens, moved the former Barberton station and recreated it next to a 15ha man-made dam. The 16th century railway coaches, buffet car diner and saloon lie next to places with names like Revolver Creek and Sunset Ferry stations. It’s a great place to indulge in a leisurely Sunday breakfast in a first-class coach, with the starched white napkins, silverware, fine china and very correct service.
The trendiest spot for the thirtysomething group is currently the Bagdad Cafe outside White River. Off- beat and sometimes bizarre, this rustic restaurant always has original recipes to taste and interesting people to meet in the bar. Run by Allison Crossley and Steve Ryan, it has become home from a home for those-that-count on the local party circuit. Definitely the place to visit again and again this summer.
Another up-and-coming restaurant is the Zeederberg Coach House in Sabie. Owned by local artists Charl and Andrea Fourie, the decor has been thrown together in a rather cavalier fashion, bearing testimony to Charl’s ever-changing creative impulses – from Afro-renaissance to whitewashed minimalism and Ndebele geometrics.
Charl initially painted the exterior of the resturant-cum-bar-cum-coffeeshop in fluorescent orange and blue, which has subsequently been toned down to a Mexican red and deep olive green – still unmissable. Currently enjoying a love of wrought-iron, he’s made all the furniture and the chic functional artworks, while Andrea conjures in the kitchen.
The food is basic and down to earth in a healthy, tasty way, offering various South African dishes which make use of the freshest fruits, vegetables and herbs from their garden.
But if it’s quick, cheap and easy you’re looking for, try the Ocean Basket in Nelspruit. Although it’s part of a franchise, the service is unique and the living is easy. The manager and part-owner Henni Richards has injected the place with an irresistibly lively and friendly atmosphere. Nothing is ever too much trouble, the waitrons must be among the most efficient and patient, and clients are encouraged to stay from lunchtime to dinner, lounging out on the balcony overlooking the town.
So why not indulge in a bit of that invigorating Lowveld magic?
Artists Cafe (013) 754-2309, Bagdad Cafe (013) 751-1777, Ocean Basket (013) 752-7193, Shunters Express (013) 764- 1777, The Zeederberg Coach House (013) 764-2630
@ A feast of sound
Cape Town is set for one of those rare and soulful summer party sessions with a four-day Afrojazz feast kicking off on Sunday, December 13. The Jazz Africa festival features artists Ismael L, Hugh Masekela, Moses Molelekwa, Jimmy Dludlu, Errol Dyers, TransSky and poet Lesego Rampolokeng.
The music starts on Sunday when L takes to the stage at the new Sasani Studios on the Waterfront and culminates with an open air concert in the Company Gardens on Reconciliation Day, Wednesday December 16.
L, from Senegal, was the only West African musician to feature in the 1998 South African Music Awards. His popularity here has grown from strength to strength since his Re-Connection tour in 1995. He is a multi- intrumentalist with a honey-toned voice whose mbalax sound draws on influences ranging from the Wolof and Mandingo cultures of West Africa to R&B, folk and soul. Apart from being a musician, L is also a painter and an actor who plays the principal role in Afrique mon Afrique, a musical movie about Aids in West Africa. Angolan-born guitarist Adamu and Cape Jazz guitar maestro Errol Dyers are also featured on the opening night bill.
On the local front the festival features the crme de la crme of innovative, contemporary music from new wave jazz to modernist trance. The programme also includes workshops, educational components and aims to heighten awareness of African music and the African roots of jazz. It is being presented by the Contemporary African Music and Arts Trust at the University of Cape Town, assisted by the Rockefeller Foundation.
For full festival details and updates call (021) 409-2060, listen to P4 Radio 104.9FM or visit www.jazzafrica.co.za on the Web
@ Audacious
Dubedacious
Julian Munro
The local music industry has taken a little leap forward into cyberspace. Arthur Mafokate, king of kwaito, and little green Dub, the popular television character, have just released an EP together, called Dubedacious.
With the help of the award-winning broadcast design studio, Delapse, the music video for the title track will transport Arthur into a virtual environment called Tubeland.
Using similar techniques to those used in movies like Space Jam, the video will be a first for South Africa. Never before have a virtual character and a live performer got to interact in a music video.
Delapse shot the live performers for the video, using a Green Screen. The virtual environment could then be “chroma keyed” into Tube’s visual environment.
Next, Dub and his virtual friends from Tubeland, were `motion captured’ – a process that uses live performers to animate the characters.
All these elements were then combined within the backgrounds created by the designers at Delapse, the company responsible for SABC2’s award-winning imaging, among other graphic triumphs. Delapse’s Gustav Praekelt calls it: “The most post-produced music video in South African history.” The technology includes every single piece of hardware and software at Delapse.
Mafokate expressed great confidence in the success of Dubedacious: “It’s the best thing that has happened since the Bartman song. Kids are going to love this.”
Also featured are the vocal talents of Queen Iyaya (Aba Shante) and TransSky as well as other Tube characters doing funky, buzzy things, the EP is Tube’s first merchandising attempt. Released on November 24, it sold about 8 000 units within the first week and is expected to go platinum.
Look out for the stunning video of Dubedacious, featuring Arthur, Queen and all your favourite characters from Tube on Top Billing on December 18.
@ The road to somewhere
Steve Hilton-Barber’s `people-friendly’ exhibition of photographs shows that there’s light at the end of the Maputo Corridor. Alex Dodd reports
`The president and the premier have been stolen!” shouts photographer Steve Hilton-Barber, setting up a mock melodrama in the night time silence of the spanking new mall. “What are we going to do?” The security guards are amused. No comment on the power of the images, but it’s hardly as though the Mona Lisa’s gone missing. They know this is not exactly the National Gallery and the pictures can be replaced. That’s probably why the “somebody” who fancied a Mandela portrait for the lounge wall took the risk of being nabbed. It’s art for the people and the people like the art enough to steal it.
This is part of the quirky power of Hilton-Barber’s Maputo Corridor Photographic Project, currently prestik- ed to a wall of the Riverside Mall in Nelspruit. The images are machine printed and colour laminated so they’re easy to reproduce and move around – therefore perfect for viewing by thousands of people anywhere. This was the express intention of their creator.
The exhibition, comprised of around 250 images, has already enjoyed a run in Parliament (where it was opened by Minister of Transport Mac Maharaj) and is set to open at the Lebombo border post and in Maputo at the Photographers Gallery “between Caf Paris and Caf Maputo on Julius Nyerere Drive”. From there, the aim is to take it to schools, community centres, shebeens, truckstops – in fact anywhere where the people of the region can see themselves and their changing world reflected in the images before them.
The exhibition first came into being when Hilton-Barber was approached by David Arkwright, deputy CEO of the Maputo Corridor Company. Arkwright had seen an exhibition called Ego Eclectics which Hilton-Barber had curated at the Bensusan Museum of Photography in Newtown back in 1994 and was taken with the way people viewed the work.
“It was feelgood, and upbeat. He saw it as an opportunity to humanise the project – put a human face to economic policy,” says the photographer, stressing that he was given an absolutely open brief and no dictates regarding what he could and couldn’t bring to the attention of the populace.
1994 was also the year in which Mpumalanga premier Matthews Phosa made his inaugural speech laying out his grand vision of hope for the people of the region. That vision would entail upgrading the N4 highway into a toll road, giving South Africa’s landlocked northern provinces easier access to their nearest port in the Mozambican capital of Maputo and paving the way for much-needed regional co-operation and investment.
Hilton-Barber needed to find a visual way of translating this highly complex bit of social engineering to the man, woman and child in the street. To shed some light on the complex relationship between South Africa and Mozambique – a country which the old regime systematically decimated, but with whom the new regime is trying to establish mutually nation-building ties. He needed to show how a road could affect lives. How commerce operates through the medium of avocados, mangoes, friendly relations between nations and the free flow of traffic. How skills are transferred
Hilton-Barber has risen to the occasion with characteristic chutzpah. “The corridor community cuts across race, nationality, class, sex … I have always viewed myself as a citizen of the world, so I love this area. There’s something very special about it. It’s like the cradle of humanity. I came here to make a mark and fulfill a creative aspiration and wanted to put something up in the place I was living.”
Hilton-Barber’s tangible easy-going connections with everyone from the parking assistant at the local mall to the teller at the petrol station to restaurateurs and okes at the bar is testimony to the genuineness of this intent. Although at times formally flawed, his images shine with this connected, people-friendly energy.
In between serious portraits of Nelson Mandela and Joaquim Chissano, of poverty and rubbish dumps, heartbreaking border busts on illegal immigrants, road construction works, markets and shebeens, aerial perspectives from a microlight … there are odd satirical images like the one of a hyena dressed in a suit and tie captioned The photographer’s lawyer and offbeat ones like Hey Cousin in which “a blonde and a baboon set out for an adventure” on a motorbike.
Going through the images with the photographer is a treat. There’s a crazy tale behind almost every photograph, and the cumulative effect is one of multiple and contradictory narratives being released. The reality he is showing is one that cannot be reduced to trite policy speak, inspirational propaganda or even necessarily a clear, wholly digestible view of the universe.
Taking in the wildly diverse images that read like a cross section through a dense and complex chunk of society, Hilton- Barber’s hardcore documentary roots are unmissable, but there is also a cheeky and irreverent streak at play that seems to have grown stronger in his work since Hilton-Barber relocated to the “frontier town” of Nelspruit.
His previous show, It’s a Wild Life, which was hung on lines that ran through the buzzing commuter thoroughfare in the heart of of the Mpumalanga capital, was opened by Sam Nzima (who took the famed Hector Petersen June 16 photograph and now “lives down the road in Lilyvale”) together with “a blind busker and a contortionist fire eater who set his cock alight”. “I’ve always wanted my pictures to be interactive.”
Hilton-Barber is quite conscious of the wild, silly streak in his work which is evidently a mainline to people’s humanity, to their capacity to laugh at themselves and let go of the seriousness and grimness in an often harsh world. He speaks of the “lack of compassion” which he experienced during his years out there documenting the violence and atrocities of apartheid with the so-called Bang Bang Club – about a need to get over that time, to heal and laugh and find new inspiration.
This exhibition embodies the photographer’s move away from the darkness of the past and his natural embrace of all that is new and hopeful in South Africa. Judging by the comment board up in the mall his images have gone down like a cold beer or a good game of soccer.
“People want more photos. They tell us what’s happening,” says Thandebile Mashabane, one of the overnight security guards at the mall. “People like this thing because it tells us about Mozambique. Many Mozambican people have been here to see and like these photos.” Asked which is her favourite image, she smiles broadly and shyly points to a picture of a mixed-race couple captioned Lovers in Arms: Jeff and Shamila. “I like this one,” she says, “because we are all together – no apartheid.”
@ Pretoria’s
Wall for all
Idasa wanted a work that would signify the reconstruction of South Africa, but the Democracy Wall is much more than that, writes Pamela Whitby
At a recent gathering in Pretoria, held by the Institute for a Democratic Alternative in South Africa (Idasa) to dedicate its Democracy Wall to the city, one had the sense that the place was, at last, discovering its African identity.
The responses of Pretorians present indicated how much the work of public sculpture has meant to them. Someone remarked that whenever he visited the space on the corner of Visagie and Prinsloo streets he would think back to his home in the Northern Province. A long-standing resident of the area remarked simply; “You know what, we all love this wall.”
Throughout history great walls have been symbols of division as well as of protection. South Africa’s Democracy Wall symbolises human creativity. For both the creators and their witnesses, the wall has also represented the process of rebuilding through discovery – a discovery similar to the one South Africans have experienced in the country’s transformation.
In 1996 Johannesburg sculptor, Neels Coetzee, was approached by Idasa to design a commemorative work for the Kutlawanong Democracy Centre in Pretoria. This began the passage of the wall’s growth – a collaborative effort between the artist, the organisation’s employees and archeologist Sidney Miller.
Coetzee’s commitment to its design over a two-year period has been extraordinary. It is a culmination of over 30 years as a sculptor preoccupied with residues of human existence. This was first expressed in the archetypal Skull Series, in which crushed and moulded bronze skulls symbolised Coetzee’s attempt to synthesise opposites: creativity in life and symbols of death.
In the Avcilar Series that followed, Coetzee again immersed himself in residues – this time drawing inspiration from the remains of earlier civilisations found in the Goreme Valley in Turkey. The Crucible, a peace monument constructed from melted-down AK-47s could also be regarded as a represention of residues.
The Democracy Wall signifies a change in Coetzee’s personal iconography. It is a merging of art and architecture in a metropolitan landscape rather than in a gallery.
Envisaging a design that would reflect the character of pastoral, suburban and metropolitan building styles, Coetzee researched historically significant architectural sites in Southern Africa. The ancient building style visible at the site dates back to the 12th century. It was on a series of field trips to the Soutpansberg, the Blouberg and to Southern Zimbabwe that Coetzee developed his ideas.
The Democracy Wall is an acknowledgement that African building styles are a form of architecture, and are not simply primitive dwellings. Africa has had its own architectural forms that have developed organically.
While Idasa commissioned Coetzee to create a work symbolising the reconstruction of South Africa, it is best understood by looking at all of the elements included in the space. Granite boulders rise from the earth. Semi-circular cement structures echo rural corrugated iron water tanks, acknowledging the preciousness of water in Africa. Porcelain insulators, used to conduct electricity across the continent, are a reminder of the privileged access some have to electricity.
Cement dolosse, the award-winning invention of South African engineers, provides a testament to human creativeness. Organic, perishable, wooden pole fencing contrasts the harshness of the palisade security fencing, inspired by a visit to Robben Island. Limestone from the island quarry shelters behind glass, commemorating its tormented historical significance since the 17th century. Indigenous foliage on the site is beginning to root and passers-by have made, and will continue to make, their marks on the early settler blackboards.
This space is a reminder of where we have come from and an indicator of where we are going. It is a manifestation of what is African and what is not African. It is a place where people have come, and will continue to come; to talk, and to make their marks.
It is a place that shows a real understanding of what contemporary South Africans need to be thinking about as we move into the future.
There is no doubt that this work will become a landmark in South Africa. The permanence of its structural forms etched onto the metropolitan landscape of Pretoria is, and will continue to be, the measure of its success. Its solidity will always be a reminder of the long and hard-fought values that are entrenched in South Africa’s fledging democracy.
@ Clever and crafty
Denise Rack Louw
They say that money does not grow on trees – but sometimes it can.
Take, for instance, the tree that recently won second prize in a competition, sponsored by FNB Vita and Buy-Africa, to create a “truly African Christmas tree”. Made by Johannesburg security guard Donald Kubjana out of strips cut from empty cooldrink cans, the tree has already attracted money- generating orders. More will surely follow when the trees show at the New York Gift Fair and the Frankfurt Ambiente Gift Fair in February.
The competition’s first prize (R10 000) was awarded to a wire tree, with beaded baubles, made by Tapiwa Musanhi to a design by Marisa Fick-Jordaan of the BAT Shop in Durban. Khoni Mdluli, a Zulu beadworker with Africa Nova in Hout Bay, Cape Town, took third prize (R2 000).
A group of Ndebele beadworkers, whose collection of Christmas decorations was the brainchild of Johannesburg jewellery designer Kevin Friedman, earned a merit award of R1 000.
About 40 of the 250 entries in the “Create a Christmas Tree” competition are on exhibition at the Castle in Cape Town until January 15.
The competition prompted entrants to look beyond traditional Western symbols of Christmas, and to draw inspiration from their African surroundings instead.
There is no hint of fin de siecl malaise at the Vita Crafts Now! exhibition, running at the Castle in Cape Town until January 23.
The FNB and Basa-sponsored competition, from which the exhibits were selected, highlights the age-old tradition of passing on craft skills within families. For example, the 1998 Silver Award of R5 000 went to Thembi Nala for a magnificent clay pot (above). Nala learnt her craft under the tutelage of her mother, Nesta Nala – winner of the 1995 Crafts Now competition.
“A rural Zulu potter, Nesta Nala now has work in all the major collections throughout South Africa,” says Wendy Goldblatt, co-ordinator of Crafts Now. Thembi, who works with her mother in KwaZulu-Natal, seems set to follow in the maternal footsteps.
Her pots are made of hand-dug clays which are sieved through wire mesh or pieces of net curtain. The hand-coiled pots are smoothed with a piece of calabash; and, when sufficiently hard, burnished with river pebbles before being decorated with traditional Zulu scenes.
The prestigious R10 000 Gold Award went to Ntombifuthi Magwaza, who took up weaving because she was unable to afford the materials for the other craft in which she is talented – dressmaking. Her winning entry in the Crafts Now competition is a superbly-patterned basket woven from telephone wire. She creates complex traditional geometric patterns and has recently found the confidence to break with tradition, incorporating plant shapes in her work.
Bronze Award winner, Andrew Maphanga of the Western Cape, learnt wire work as a child. It was an intricate and fully functional wire radio that earned him the third prize of R2 000.
A special award of R500 went to 14-year- old Nchengathini Xulu for a basket she wove using skills learnt from her grandmother eight years ago. A painted canvas floormat netted Deano Goodman a similar prize.
Presenting the awards, Professor Bankole Omotoso spoke of the ennobling and uplifting qualities of art and craft. He saluted “the power of art to humanise”, but lamented “the failure of humans to listen to the pleas of art”.
@ Valerie who?
More than 50 years ago Valerie Desmore was the first black woman artist to exhibit her work in South Africa, but only now is she receiving the recognition that she deserves, writes Tracy Murinik
We’re met and led through the dark, cool passages of the house on the old family farm of Lekkerwijn, just outside Paarl, to the courtyard where Valerie Desmore sits waiting for us. She preens herself lightly for the camera, stylish and understatedly elegant. At 73, she is quite stunning, with a wicked sense of humour.
Desmore began painting at the age of 11. The first time she was filmed was when she was interviewed about her first exhibition at the Argus Gallery at the age of 16. She was touted as a kind of wunderkind and the excitement of it led her over and over again to the cinema where it was showing to see herself on screen.
It seems tragic that it has taken more than 50 years for the local spotlight to shine on her again. Two of her early paintings feature on Elza Miles’s exhibition Land and Lives: Pioneer Black Artists, currently showing at the South African National Gallery. This is one of the reasons why Desmore has returned to South Africa after such a long time.
She left South Africa in 1945 at the age of 20 to continue her art studies abroad. She also studied fashion design at St Martin’s in London.
It is in Miles’s catalogue that she is finally acknowledged as the first black South African woman artist ever to exhibit her work in South Africa – a title which Desmore is passionate about, especially since it has gone unnoted for most of her life.
Desmore describes herself as an expressionist, and found herself bored and frustrated with the type of academic canon being taught in many of the art schools when she got to London. She was far more attracted to more “anti- establishment” avant-gardists, and particularly the German Expressionists and Vienna Secessionists who, by the time she arrived in Europe, were being demeaned as “degenerate artists” by Hitler.
She also delved into the new thoughts in literature, psychology and music at the time – Freud and Jung, Kafka, Rilke, Stravinsky, Prokofiev. Spunky and fearless, she sent Oskar Kokoschka a fan letter. She even went to visit him while he was still living in England. She was on personal terms with many of the people who inspired her thinking. But, with a great wariness of art dealers and a recognition of the economic hazards of living by her art alone, Desmore pursued a career in fashion design for many years. She hoped that she could return to her art committedly later on without the fear of being forced to compromise. This she did.
She continued, however, to produce work all the time. Much of her work looks at the intricacies of families; sibling rivalry – spidery – armed sisters wrestling one another to the ground; and of women trapped within the restraints of patriarchal living. A particularly striking series from the late Eighties explores situations in which men become dependent on women’s sexuality. Closely related are her themes on hunger – astonishing images which intuit hunger on many levels. She still paints to this day.
The fact that Desmore has gone unnoticed and unacknowledged in South African art history up until now, stands out as a glaring and embarrassing omission. Only last year did the Johannesburg Art Gallery acquire four pieces of her work. No other national institutions or collections have followed suit. It would be a further insult and great loss if this were not rectified during her lifetime. We can only hope that one of our institutions has the vision to do this.
@ Trouts do it in the country
Dave Chislett
Cape Town-based Sons Of Trout have had a really good year-and-a-half. Their first major appearance was at the Synergy New Year’s Eve Rave at the Riverclub at the end of 1996. They were the first band up, and there was no one there to watch them.
At last year’s New Year’s party, they were the headline act, and over 5 000 revellers went berserk to their quirky mix of pop, country, funk and fun. Since then, they have released an EP, dubiously entitled, Take Me To Your Fishmonger and played every major festival and showcase in the country.
The band is a large six-piece affair, consisting of lead singer Mike Hardy, violinist and vocalist Mike Rennie, Nick Turner on classical acoustic guitar, Mark Noak on second guitar and percussion, Andre Lotter on bass and Jason Rosenstein on drums.
They were recently snapped up by Gallo Africa record company, to complete a full-length album, and decided to get some real seclusion going, to concentrate on the recording process. In order to do this, they secured the services of Neil Snyman and his Mobile Recordings van, which is in effect a live, mobile recording studio.
Next they found a nice secluded farm just outside Hermanus. Enter Mogg’s Country Cookhouse, run by mother and daughter team of Jenny and Julia Mogg. The end result is three weeks of recording in some of the most idyllic surroundings imaginable. The album has provisionally been entitled Tics on George, demonstrating that, if nothing else, the band hasn’t got any better at naming their recordings
The process of recording an album, no matter what anyone might tell you, is a very stressful one. But the Trouts here seem very relaxed. Lead singer Mike Hardy just smiles, “How can you get stressed out here?” he asks, indicating the sweep of the surrounding hills, the farm dams and the distant tang of salt sea air. Point taken. Nonetheless, some very hard work is being undertaken.
It takes bass player Andre days to get his bass lines down perfectly. Producer Snyman just sits there, going, “Uh, Lets try that one again please,” until I begin to think I could even play the violin lines. Such is the lullaby I receive as I fall asleep at 3am on the Thursday night.
Getting away from a traditional studio environment has meant that the band has been able to record in a uniquely relaxed and stimulating way. But tensions are there, as things start to take longer than planned, and new songs are added to the listing.
No matter how well-oiled a unit, all bands have their inner conflicts and tensions, and, while the Trouts are an amiable bunch, sometimes things get just a little tense as pieces of music don’t come right, and some members struggle to keep to schedule.
Pigeon-holing this band, though, is not easy. They like to say they play acoustic rock. I think country music on acid would be closer to the bone. But on the whole, this unassuming bunch are friendly and have the grace just to look puzzled when I refer to the Violent Femmes as an influence, instead of caning me over the head with the nearest empty wine bottle (of which there were plenty).
Their sources, as it turns out, are as varied as the members themselves. A couple of grunge bunnies lurk in the recesses of the sound, but country, Crowded House and other popsters are all there to be picked up on if you insist on dissecting the sound.
Sons of Trout want to be the next best thing, that’s for sure. There is nothing half and half about the dedication they put into the unit, and while they may not come across as the average posturing rock personae, the ambition is there, built into the time and energy that they put into making this new album.
But aside from the motivational and inspirational processes, this recording is unique in another way. This is the first time a full-length album has been entirely recorded by a mobile unit at a special location which, over and above the location itself, makes it a very special project. And even though Snyman swears otherwise, if you listen really hard, you may be able to hear the odd cow lowing in the background.
@ Gifted ideas for an African Christmas
Mail & Guardian reporter
Dreading the thought of decorating for another Christmas? Try something new to relieve the tedium of just another tree covered in tinsel.
l Instead of using a dead pine, which is a European tradition anyway, buy a living indigenous tree. Yellowwoods are easy to decorate and different species are available throughout the country. When the party is over, you won’t have a carpet covered in pine needles, and you can plant the tree in your garden, or donate it to the closest school, and help green South Africa.
l If you don’t have a garden to plant your live tree in, buy a handmade wire tree from a street vendor or craft market. Not only will it add a truly South African flavour to your celebration, but you’ll be doing your bit for job creation.
l Christmas decorations can take quite a bite out of your budget, so instead of recycling last year’s scrunched-up tinsel and dented Santa Clauses, bake your own tree decorations. Children love the idea of devouring them, and you can keep them busy for hours during the school holidays by letting them decorate the biscuits with coloured icing sugar. Gingerbread dough works well for tree decorations, and the best shapes are human forms, hearts, stars and trees.
l Make you own tree decorations from wire, beads and ribbon. For example, twist a piece of wire into a spiral, pull out the middle to make a cone shape, attach a green glass bead to the tip of the cone and secure it with a red satin bow. Christmas trees, stars and hearts are also easy to make.
l For a Christmas snack with a difference, bake your own fruit mince pies, and decorate them with cut-outs of Christmas trees, stars and hearts made from dough or marzipan.
l The only thing better than one big present, is a heap of small ones. Christmas stockings are fun to fill and even more fun to empty! And they don’t have to be expensive – fill them with anything from biscuits, candy canes, chocolates, dried fruits and nuts to crayons and hairpins. Novelty candles make perfect stocking fillers, as do perfume and liquor samples.
l Left someone important off your Christmas list? Save time and money: send a virtual card – it’s instantaneous and free. Try these websites: ; ;
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; and . For an irreverent Christmas wish, go to , where you can also send a virtual draft beer or a virtual friend. And at you can send a traditional yuletide recipe with a sentimental message.
@ Taste the world in Cape Town
Chiara Carter
If esoteric quests are your thing, a challenging holiday mission might be searching for an authentic Cape bean curry or tomato bredie at the peninsula’s myriad eateries.
Global, fusion and Californian have swept Cape Town, dominating the cafs and mingling, not always happily, with the mother city’s penchant for local takes on European cuisine.
One of the more pleasing trends is Cape Town’s lurch towards caf society, with coffee shops lining the city centre and sea fronts. The post-breakfast version of this is firmly Mediterranean – a phrase with resonance beyond climate and the theme of many a trendy bistro.
Caf Paradiso in buzzing Kloof Street sports a quasi-Mediterranean buffet along with a la carte options, a city view and cocktails worth the wait. Variations on this theme are provided by of the popular open-plan, New York loft type cafes – Bardellis in Kloof, Obs Caf in lower main road, Observatory and Long Street Caf.
In Sea Point, Ari’s Sovlaki provides down-to-earth Greek food, while booking is essential for Maria’s in Dunkley Square. Solid Turkish fare, including a great meze, can be found on the other side of the city at Anatoli’s.
A more up-market and West Coast version of olives and feta is to be found at Camps Bay’s Blues, which also offers great sea views. It faces some competition from the neighbouring Vilamoura – it may be a bit pricey but has rapidly earned respect for its Portuguese seafood and, something sorely lacking in Cape Town, Gauteng efficiency. Young and affluent is Clifton’s La Med where sundowners are literal – a golden sunset over the one wind-free section of the Cape coastline being part of the package.
Sea views compliment seafood at Kalk Bay’s Brass Bell. If you can bear the crowds, the Waterfront is seafootage and shopping packaged to please, with a range of restaurants from Morton’s, which offers Cajun fare, to San Marco’s Italian ices and Planet Hollywood’s over-the-top spiced chicken and up-market burgers. Further from the madding crowd, Panama Jacks might seem pricey but the food is abundant. A seafood platter easily stretches to satisfy three.
The Ocean Basket in Kloof Street is hugely popular and affordable, but be warned: queuing is inevitable. Scenic and a good bet for seafood is Hout Bay, where options range from harbour take-aways to the Chapman’s Peak Hotel.
Should you find yourself heading towards Simon’s Town and Cape Point, the Black Marlin at Miller’s Point is well established and a good bet. Also well established are the up-market restaurants offering creative interpretations of nouvelle and haute cuisine. Rozenhof in Kloof Street has a loyal customer base, and Aubergine, also in town, blends spices and herbs. Champers in Highlands Estate is strong on quality, if thin on decor, while both Jakes and Parks in the southern suburbs are booked out most nights.
If lemon grass is your thing, you can choose between Thai take-outs and sit- downs. Good bets are Sukhothai and Yindees, both in Kloof Street, and Chaiyos in Little Mowbray.
New to the city are the more subtle foods of Vietnam, at the Saigon restaurant in Kloof Street, where the panoramic view is a stronger selling point than the bland dishes on offer. Japanese choices range from lunchtime sushi bars in the city centre to Sea Point’s Fujiyama and the Korena Kotobuki in Gardens. Next door to Rozenhof is Max Max, with a range of eastern flavours.
Curry of the Indian variety is easily
found – from Long Street’s Maharaj and the Talk of the Town in the city centre to Muizenberg’s Gaylords and the north Indian fare which makes up for the less than intimate atmosphere at Bukhara, also in the city centre.
African delicacies can be sampled at Observatory’s Africa Caf and Caf Moroka in Adderley Street. Mama Africa in Long Street might be a tourist attraction but also offers a steamy party vibe on weekends. More mellow is the Waterfront’s Green Dolphin, where jazz accompanies good, if pricey, food. A nod in the direction of the Cape’s British colonial heritage is given by the Mount Nelson Hotel where visitors can get a taste of chintz and empire at the legendary teas.
Still looking for a taste of the Cape? Try Emily’s in Woodstock or stroll through the Cape Company gardens and stop off at a table under the oaks. Along with the squirrels and high court judges is a menu ranging from strawberries to tomato bredie and snoek and chips.
More of an effort but far from the oil and bikini brigade is a trip into the country. For a sardonic take on history, political and edible, what better way to beat the tourists, California and that stalwart of Cape Town tables, the iceberg lettuce, than a visit to Pieter Dirk Uys’ latest tour de force, Tannie Evita’s Kombuis in Darling?
@ On the menu
Madeleine Roux
For a feast with a difference, put some of these cheesy dishes on your Christmas table.
n Devils in overcoats
100g blue cheese
one teaspoon caraway seeds
20 prunes, stoned
20 rashers streaky bacon
10 sheets phyllo pastry
130g melted butter
Mash together the cheese and caraway seeds and fill prunes with the mixture. Roll a slice of bacon around each. Brush a sheet of pastry with melted butter, cut lengthways into two strips and fold strips in two. Brush with more butter, place a bacon-wrapped prune in the corner and roll up into a triangle. Repeat with rest of prunes and phyllo. Place on a greased tray and bake for 25 to 30 minutes at 190C until golden. Serve hot.
n Cheese crostini
120g gorgonzola
80g mascarpone
dusting of nutmeg
two to three tablespoons chopped parsley, basil or celery leaves
12 to 15 slices French bread
Mash the cheeses together and mix with herbs and nutmeg. Slice bread thinly and brush with olive oil. Bake 10 minutes on an oven rack until crisp. Let cool and spread with cheese mixture. Decorate with a little more parsley.
n Parmesan puffs
six egg whites
300g grated parmesan cheese
nutmeg to taste
cayenne pepper to taste
fine breadcrumbs
deep oil for frying
Heat oil but keep the temperature fairly low. Beat egg whites until firm. Season parmesan with grated nutmeg and cayenne. Fold cheese into egg whites. With two spoons, scoop out mixture and roll gently in breadcrumbs. Fry for a few minutes until golden. Drain and serve hot.
n Avocado and goat cheese salad
four slices of bread
oil for frying
one cos lettuce
two firm avocados
six to eight radishes
100g to 120g goat milk cheese
handful of walnuts or pecan nuts
Make croutons by cutting bread into cubes and frying in hot oil until golden. Drain on newspaper. Arrange cos lettuce leaves in a salad bowl. Pile on slices of avocado, whole radishes, goat cheese cut into rounds and walnuts. Sprinkle croutons over and dress with a lemony vinaigrette (three parts olive oil to one part lemon juice, salt, pepper and a touch of mustard). Little cubes of pecorino (parmesan’s little sister) taste as good in this salad. (Serves four to six people.)
n Ricotta cream dessert
300g to 350g fresh ricotta cheese
two egg yolks
two tablespoons castor sugar
three tablespoons sweet sherry
one tablespoon brandy
Mix ricotta, eggs and sugar. Gradually add brandy then sherry until mixture is smooth and thick. Serve with digestive biscuits. (Serves four.)
n Mozzarella salad I
On a large platter, arrange thickly sliced tomato and thinly sliced mozzarella to overlap. Tear up rocket or basil leaves and strew over salad in a thick layer. Make a vinaigrette with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, bits of chilli and a dash of lemon juice. Drizzle over the salad.
n Mozzarella salad II
Cut mozzarella in cubes and toss with broad beans and peppadews. Sprinkle with olive oil, lemon juice and toasted sesame seeds.
@ A feast of cheese
Madeleine Roux
Devils in overcoats might not be a name most fitting for the jolly season, but pop one of these bacon and blue cheese prunes in your mouth, take a goodly swig of bubbly and suddenly it’s Christmas.
As our colonial heritage fades, we wave a sad goodbye to some venerable traditions, such as port and Stilton cheese after Christmas dinner. I haven’t seen a regal English stilton moistened with port since my father took me to lunch at the unspeakably fuddy Lords Seventeen Club in Cape Town, but I still long for the taste of that crumbly, palate-tingling bluish cheese.
Camembert and brie seem to have taken stilton’s place in the after-dinner stakes, or even on the starter menu, nouvellishly fried and served with a berry sauce.
Originating in Normandy, these soft, yellow cheeses with their white mould crusts (it’s edible – don’t cut it off) are traditionally packed in circular boxes. Some brands are carefully aged to a runny, pungent cream. Woolworths prides itself on ageing them to perfection, and prints instructions on when to eat on the box.
Simonsberg is a Cape winery which diversified into cheesemaking. Their camembert and brie, like wine, have a delicious aftertaste when served with a small glass of sweet muscadel or jerepigo.
Creamy blue cheeses are now hugely popular. One of them, known as duetta, is a decadent concoction of layers of Italian mascarpone and blue cheese. At the pretty Rozenhof Restaurant in Cape Town’s Kloof Street, duetta is served as the ultimate dessert with sweetly preserved dried figs and a glass of port.
The variety of Italian cheese made in South Africa is astounding: ricotta, provolone, caciotta, mozzarella, gorgonzola, mascarpone – sounds like a fugue from an operetta. Cimalat is the massive cheese purveyor of all these classic types and can put you on to almost any cheese your heart desires.
Ricotta is a cottage cheese widely used in Italian dishes such as ravioli, canneloni and cheesecakes, and it is very useful in Christmas desserts, such as trifle. Buy it fresh and wet, and remember it is unsalted and bland to eat by itself.
Mascarpone is the other rather bland creamy cheese which comes into its own with sweet additions. If you’re weary of the usual trifle, make a spectacular tiramisu for Christmas dessert, using lots of mascarpone and brandy.
As for mozzarella, there are so many brands on the market that buyers can afford to be choosy. Mozzarella and its stablemate, rabiola, taste best eaten fresh with a sharpish herb such as rocket or basil and some good olive oil.
A great baked and glazed Christmas ham needs only colourful salads to complement it, and a mozzarella, tomato and basil salad fits this bill perfectly. The ham is familiar, underlining the old saying that clever food is not appreciated at Christmas – it makes the little ones cry and the adults nervous.
As mozzarella ages, it becomes suitable for baking in moussaka or stuffed chicken breasts. Okay, use it for pizza, but don’t expect the kids to rave about the taste – what they’re really after are the chewy, melting threads.
Feta, the ubiquitous restaurant addition to bad salads, deserves a better reputation. Search for a good quality non-rubbery feta and roll cubes in green peppercorns or steep in olive oil with origanum or marjoram. Team it with fairly rough tastes such as dried tomatoes, olives, artichokes and young red wine.
If you insist on feta in a salad, crumble it into interesting greens like sorrel dotted with cubed raw baby marrows and lightly cooked beetroot. A honey and soy flavoured dressing tastes good with this festive-looking salad.
Finally there’s goat milk cheese – opinionated, rather smelly, but
appealing, just like the animal. Its tang is enhanced by peppercorns, nuts and spring onions, and its creaminess blends well with a slightly bitter preserve such as kumquats in syrup.
We’re off to see the wizardry
Mercedes Sayagues
It is amazing, fun and thrilling. And slightly spooky in a way. Piped music everywhere, even in the steamy midst of the Animal Kingdom’s rain forest. Always a voice to guide you, in queues, rides and buses. Always some (overpriced) product to buy. Shop until you drop. Mind and credit-card control.
Welcome to Disneyworld, where the magic – and the shopping – never stops.
It reminded me of the casino hotel in Brian de Palma’s latest film, Snake Eyes, with its 700 cameras watching hustlers, shoplifters and compulsive gamblers. You are one of the millions who go through Disneyworld every day, monitored, tagged and delivered into the arms of Mickey Mouse.
Enough of my over-politicised perceptions. This is why I went.
In September, I took my seven-year-old daughter to Sun City. Guess what impressed her the most? A Coke vending machine. “Mommy, it’s magic!” she said. “A little man lives inside who knows what I want?” I realised we live in a time warp in Zimbabwe. She should see what serious technology can do.
First choice: Eurodisney or Orlando? I had no doubts. The United States is bigger and better, and there are no grumpy French people around. However, the food is worse, the fare is more expensive, and the 24-hour trip is smooth, but exhausting. Harare to Johannesburg to Cape Town, then 16 hours to Miami, a 30-minute flight to Orlando and a 30-minute shuttle to Disneyworld. Arrive at 9am. The room is not ready. Come after 3pm.
Never mind, check in, leave luggage, off we go, full of excitement.
We are not disappointed. The fantasy world and the technological wizardry are wonderful, worth every dollar of the package – priced at $2 500, with air fare, seven nights in a hotel and Disney passes for one adult and one child.
So, if you have the greenbacks, take kids aged five and older. The younger ones tire easily, are afraid of Goofy and, worse, they probably won’t remember how you blew your hard-earned money on them.
Here is some advice:
Stay at a resort inside Disneyworld. You get early and evening access to theme parks without the general public. Kids love the oversized, gaudy decorations at the All Stars hotels. You will too, because they are the cheapest, at $80 a night. Your room card-key doubles as a park entry pass and as a credit card inside Disneyworld, so you need to carry little else.
Save time by doing some research with the brochures, video and park maps. It is too vast to explore without a plan. Spot a few attractions you don’t want to miss, and head for them. There is never enough time.
If your child fits in a stroller, rent one at any park entrance – for $6 a day, valid for all parks. Every attraction has stroller parking. This saves your child’s energy and mood; and it’s handy to carry shopping.
Forget about lugging a bottle of water. It will get warm quickly and there are free water coolers everywhere.
Carry instead your children’s swimming costumes, or long T-shirts: fun fountains beckon. Let them play, but either allow time for them to dry off or change them into dry clothes before going into the next chilled, air- conditioned show.
Instead of bringing your video camera to record those smiles, rent one in any park.
Wear comfortable shoes. It is a marathon just walking from the car park or bus stop to the parks. The standard uniform is shorts and T-shirts.
At lunchtime, cool off at the water parks. They are great fun for all ages, especially Blizzard Beach.
Avoid the Magic Kingdom between 11am and 3pm: it is too crowded. Avoid the recently opened Animal Kingdom at noon: it’s too hot in the jungle. But don’t miss its Dinosaur Ride!
The Mexican pavilion at Epcot has a lovely, moody boat ride. At its outdoor cantina, the tex mex is disgusting, but the frozen margaritas are OK.
Ask ushers about the best seating – three-dimensional movies are best if you sit close to the screen, but puppet shows are better if you’re further back.
Don’t miss the Fantasmic evening light show at MGM studios.
Never convert the mighty US dollar into African currencies or you will have a fit. A kid’s T-shirt costs $14. A hot dog is $3 and a watery beer is $4.
Go in low season; October to November or January to February. The crowds are manageable. You will queue for less than 30 minutes – compared to two hours in high season – for some rides. Never mind if the kids miss school. Disney is an educational experience.
My daughter’s advice to children is never bolt or you will get lost in the crowd. If that happens, ask the staff for help or stand on a high place so you can be seen.
She loved it. It was fun for me as well, but I confess I get more of a kick covering riots in Harare than cuddling Minnie Mouse.
@ Africa at your fingertips
Nashen Moodley
Trading in everything from charcoal to African art and crafts to ornamental fish, Buy-Afrika offers a wide range of Southern African products to the rest of the world via the Internet.
Situated in cyberspace at , the Buy- Afrika project is an initiative of the Liberty Life Foundation. Its aim is to develop the market for South African products abroad. Through its website, small and medium-sized businesses are given an opportunity to reach wider markets.
The site is easy to browse and when prices are quoted (they aren’t always) it is in rands, with a nifty currency converter to assist foreign clients.
It is certainly not cost-effective or logical for South Africans to make purchases from the site; buying biltong off the Net does seem a bit extreme. Still, Buy-Afrika could save you from scouring the streets for authentic African art and crafts to send to relatives and friends overseas.
It is worthwhile, though, for South African entrepreneurs and small to medium-sized businesses to promote their products on the site, free of charge. The submission form is simple enough to complete and the only additional requirement is a colour photograph of the product.
Several companies have already taken advantage of Buy-Afrika and the site offers an extensive range of African products in the categories of industrial, art, crafts and lifestyle.
Art galleries have also recognised the potential of the project and promote mixed media, fine art, sand art, sculptures and tapestries on Buy- Afrika. Ominously, prices for these works were nowhere to be found.
Liberty Life sees the project as an ideal opportunity for South African designers, manufacturers and entrepreneurs to develop their skills and become self- sufficient. “A feeling of self-worth is a good stepping stone to a strong economy,” said Hylton Appelbaum, executive trustee of the Liberty Life Foundation.
@ The best from the vineyard
Melvyn Minnaar
Ag shame . While plutocrats and parvenus briskly buy up farmland and prepare their plantings for wine status and the export bandwagon, real men and women have been making South Africa’s best wines for years – and continue to do so. While Johnnies-come-lately cook up pretentious names to print on their labels, it’s the well-known, classic appellations which secure the best ratings and best prices, year after year.
In October, the Cape Independent Winemakers Guild’s (CIWG) annual auction showcased the serious and creative winemakers. With its low level of hype, the auction clinches champions’ recognition through ratings and, of course, some remarkable prices. Some of these champs have been around for some time, others are only now getting into the spotlight.
Then came the annual Veritas and SAA awards, the Michelangelo appraisals and the Diner’s Club Winemaker of the Year Competition, to be followed by important and benchmark ratings in Wine magazine and the famous John Platter SA Wine Guide.
Monitoring these signs of excellence – which in many cases are improving each year in terms of evaluation – does give the anthropologist with wine on his mind some indication of the best in the vineyard and cellar, as well as which wines are coming on to the local and international stage for consumers’ potable delight.
Take master winemaker Gyles Webb. Last year his Thelema Cabernet Sauvignon Reserve 1994 seized a grand high of R167 per bottle at the CIWG auction. This year some of the 1995-version of this benchmark modern cab with its New World spicy, fruity, minty exuberance sold for R315! Webb, whose cabernet sauvignon is among only 15 wines given five stars in the new Platter guide, was Diner’s Club Winemaker of the Year in 1994 as well as 1996. He is acknowledged as one of South Africa’s cellar maestros.
He has been on the CIWG auction since 1992, but star winemakers like Jan Boland Coetzee of Vriesenhof, Braam van Velden of Overgaauw and Walter Findlayson, now at Glen Carlou, have been on board the guild since its inception, bottling top wines. Long-standing members with international reputations include Beyers Truter, Neil Ellis, Peter Findlayson, Johan Malan and Jeff Grier. Grier was winemaker of the year in 1997 for his splendid sauvignon blanc. A premium all-rounder, his estate Villiera bagged double golds for port, pinotage and the Cru Monro blend and single gold for Rhine riesling.
Other cellars who this year excelled by receiving two or more double gold Veritas Awards for their wines are KWV, Le Bonheur, Bellingham, Lievland and Kanonkop.
All these estates are focal points in the broad spectrum of South Africa’s winemaking.
South Africa’s premier indigenous grape, pinotage, is not only challenging local winemakers to new heights of fine winemaking, but also increasingly winning hearts overseas. The annual Absa Top Ten Pinotage competition is a vital stimulus, as well as reward for the pinotage experts.
The winning wines are highly sought after and a good reflection of real local-is-lekker classics: look for Bellingham Spitz 1995, KWV Cathedral Cellar 1996, Hidden Valley 1996, Jacobsdal 1995, Kaapzicht Reserve 1997, Kanonkop 1997, L’Avenir 1997, Southern Right 1997, Uiterwyk Top of the Hill 1996 and the very affordable Vlottenburg 1997.
If pinotage is the player with personality in the wine game, merlot is as much admired at local dinner tables as it is overseas at the moment. Before the auction, the CIWG held an international tasting workshop and the results showed that our boys are doing nicely, thank you. There are great performers like Hartenberg, Morgenhof and Saxenburg, but one with true operatic appeal is clearly Veenwouden from Deon van der Walt’s tiny Paarl estate.
Watch out, local shiraz (or syrah, as the Yanks and French call it) is the next red on the up.
Allesverloren shiraz 1996 just won this year’s Winemaker of the Year Award for Danie Malan, but it was a closely contested competition. He must have been in the company of shiraz stars such as Hartenberg, Klein Constantia and Bellingham, among others.
With a worldwide desire for red wines, South African whites are battling to find stature and develop character of note. Obviously, there are exceptions, such as the classy sauvignon blancs from Villiera, Klein Constantia, Vergelegen and engaging chardonnays from Constantia Uitsig and Thelema. They fly our flag high.
If there is a real South African challenge for white wine, it is on the go. Chenin blanc or good old steen represents the essence of the Cape. If this grape can be turned into a star -and there are moves afoot, like at L’Avenir and Ken Forrester’s vineyards – we may hit the vin blanc deluxe jackpot as well.
@ Classy corks to pop this festive season
Melvyn Minnaar
Port and sherry are the potables fuelling the raging trade battle between South Africa and Europe. Representing Portugal and Spain respectively, these traditional “libations of colonial gentry” have turned out to be remarkably potent munitions in what is essentially a skirmish about identity and culture – not to mention marketing – in the harsh world of global capitalism.
Whereas the present conflict is unresolved, a similar contretemps involving that other European classic, champagne, was amicably settled years ago when dropping the generic from locally produced bubbly was bartered for getting Cape crayfish on French tables.
The intensity of these fights about wines with special and established identities may have a psychological tinge of envy to it: South Africans have been making local versions with great aplomb – and are getting better at it.
Using increasingly sophisticated but traditional methods, and paying attention to such personality establishing traits as the right grape varietals, our sherries, ports and Cap Classique wines can take their place among the best.
Sherry may not be a hard seller right now, but South African port is on the up – in terms of quality as well as sales. And who doesn’t like good sparkling wine?
This year’s Veritas Awards honoured the relatively inexpensive Pongrcz Cap Classique with a double gold medal.
Double and single gold medals have, in the past, gone to splendid sparklers such as Laborie, Bon Courage and Graham Beck Brut. A delight like the well-matured JC le Roux Pinot Noir has won many a blind tasting.
All these wines are made in the classic French style with chardonnay and pinot noir grapes, with the bubbles created by secondary fermentation in the bottle. While certainly not “real champagne”, in terms of price alone you cannot have a more festive celebration this year than when popping a few of these classy corks.
Most wines are best enjoyed with food, and although sherry’s image as a pre- dinner drink is perhaps simple-minded, it certainly works as an aperitif. Do as the Spanish do: pour large glasses of cooled Monis Pale Dry Sherry and feast on a selection of tapas. The Monis range regularly wins golds at Veritas.
Port too has a staple image – that of a small after-dinner drink. But the exciting new ports being made by the South African Port Producers Association have concentration of character which can please on many different occasions. Following up on a tradition established here in the early 19th century, local port makers are producing world-class stuff.
More and more produced from the original indigenous Portuguese grapes with such names as Touriga Naional, Tinta Barocca, Tinta Roriz and Souzao, the merit of local interpretations has been acknowledged and reflected in the number of top Veritas awards handed out. This year, three ports received double gold awards and a number of others single golds.
The three best ports on this list are KWV Full Tawny, Landskroon and Villiera, both from the fine 1995 vintage. Once again, the reasonable prices of these splendid wines make them highly rewarding acquisitions.
In particular, the Landskroon, which has just been released, should be on every festive table this year. Selling at a mere R25,90 from the Paarl estate, it added to its Veritas double gold the SAA trophy for best port.
@ The airports from hell
Loose cannon: Robert Kirby Someone once told me that I have what he called “a real hate on for our airports”. He’s wrong. It’s much more than simple hate.
I don’t know quite what it is about the airports in this country, what concentrated aggregate of public offensiveness is so meticulously respected, developed, expanded and applied by the Airports Company of South Africa (ACSA). Whatever it is, they do it awfully well.
Somewhere, deep down in the core avarice of the Airports Company’s business code, there’s a fugitive virus running wild, a grotesque vendor organism one of its top executives probably contracted in the exercise yard from Greg Blank. Something that crawled out of one of Joe Theron’s magazines.
Who cares where or how it came about. What is apparent is that no nominally healthy business concern – even a South African one, and that’s saying something – would ever market a product quite as universally and stridently vulgar as the one marketed by the ACSA. Not if it wanted to be reckoned as free of super-clinical corporate malfeasance.
I’ve been inside three different ACSA- controlled airports six times during the past six weeks, and I use the word “vulgar” in desperation. As a one-off word to describe South African airports, “vulgar” is about the most inclusive.
Take Cape Town International and, while you do, please remember that this screeching plastic and concrete monument to the ACSA corporate dynamic has just been elected “Best Airport In Africa”, which is equivalent to being voted the shiniest sphincter in the proctology ward. Nonetheless, Cape Town International won. Spend seven minutes inside it and you’ll wonder why.
Feel the air-conditioning, something which operates as a product extension of the weather. If it’s blazing hot outside, it’s stinking hot inside. While you sit there sweating, listening to South African Railways escapee white porters yelling into their two-way radios, you look around at what a social pathologist would call detailed examples of the capitalist slogan culture. Everything, but everything, has its gaudy logo.
Into your grateful ears drifts the Cape Town International manager’s idea of tasteful background music. Single-chord Shopright/Checkers brain melt played at disco volume through minute speakers.
Overriding all this by 80 decibels are the passenger announcements. Nothing in terms of acoustic assault ever tops these. If you think Cape Town International’s passenger announcements are piercing and distorted, you should try Durban International where it’s become an identifiable ACSA art form.
I recently sat for half-an-hour in Durban’s airport. During that half- hour, a Johannesburg flight was boarding. The first call, last call, boarding card and final call were made no fewer than 23 times! All in a mounting hysteria. It was like listening to some terrible absurdist radio play, a vindictive drama of expected and present hell.
Listing particulars is a tempting way of protesting, so I’ll quickly list another one. A couple of years ago, in another newspaper, I wrote a mildly disparaging piece about Cape Town’s airport.
I said that it wasn’t surprising that so many older German tourists preferred entering South Africa through Cape Town International. It was out of sheer nostalgia for the bureaucratic style and manners of Berlin in the late 1930s – right down to the embedded storm trooper helmets they used to “calm” the motor traffic at the airport entrance.
The day after the article was published, I received a stylish fax from the “manager” of Cape Town International. This took the form of a blurred photocopy of my article. Scrawled down the side in indignant handwriting was the injunction: “Kirby. I request urgent you make phone appointment urgently to come here by my office to discuss this disgusting article.”
As I say, just another particular, but it does help specify the administrative night-soil in which the ACSA cultivates its frontline janitors. If the wrigglings of its chief Cape Town grub are anything to go by, then it’s not surprising that passing through the airport he runs is such an ordeal. You’ll find subtler public manners in a camel market, but not by much.
The question remains: why does the ACSA run such violently horrible airports? Is it because, being a money-printing monopoly, it feels it doesn’t really have to give much more than a token shit? Is it deaf? Blind? Stooooopid?
Or is it because, as with its gracious Cape Town manager, it just doesn’t know much better at this moment? I suspect the latter.
@ Beating the breakfast
Maureen Barnes Down the tube
Even before AM2Day began broadcasting, I must admit to feeling a bit prejudiced against it. This was due to the attitude of producers, Barney Cohen and Danie Ferreira, towards newspaper reporters – which varied from hostile to downright offensive.
They obviously resented journalists’ attempts to investigate the manner in which the lucrative contract for the new programme was awarded and its subsequent delayed commencement.
One can only assume that now they are responsible for doing a bit of newsgathering themselves, their attitude to fearless reporting has changed somewhat. If not, it should have.
Anyway, although not a fan of morning television – I can’t imagine how anyone has the time to concentrate on the box and get themselves together and off to work – I must say it’s worth a l