be over
Telford Vice Cricket
Not another bloody perfect day, we might have thought, as we sank almost without trace into the cane chairs scattered around the pool bar at Nairobi’s Stanley Hotel.
Except that the sky over South African cricket was far from an uncluttered Kenyan blue, despite the triumphant holding aloft of the quadrangular tournament’s gaudy trophy by Hansie Cronje and Graham Ford the previous afternoon.
All that lingered the following day, surely, would be the consequences of too many celebratory Tuskers (sorry, SAB – it’s much better beer). But no, this hangover had been brewing a lot longer and it left the edges of the bigger picture fuzzier than ever.
Come December 13, Cronje’s time of lifting ever uglier trophies could be over. For this is the day that the second Test against England is scheduled to end, the day Cronje’s clumsily imposed probation as South Africa’s captain is due to expire.
Of course, in all likelihood it won’t come down to December 13. The South African skipper for the rest of the England series will be known before that date. And by deadline for this issue of the Mail & Guardian, Cronje had yet to announce where his future lay – playing in South Africa or coaching in Wales.
But back to our hangover, which led us to much theorising as we contemplated our regmaakers. Into the buzz walked a noted man of cricket, a world-class player in his day who is still at the heart of the game but who has remained, to his eternal credit, his own man and a thoroughly good, unassuming bloke who habitually offers to buy a round before he descends on to a vacant bar stool. In short, not Geoffrey Boycott.
Ah, the perfect target for the assembled media’s theories. What, good bloke (aka Cronje), would the United Cricket Board (UCB) do if Cronje opted to end his international playing career?
Or what would they do if South Africa somehow lost both Tests to the gritty Zimbabweans and then, bizarre as it may seem, crashed to defeat in the first two matches against the papier mch characters that make up the England team? Fire the captain?
Good bloke knew what was coming, and he smiled quietly. Who, we ranted at him undeterred, would the UCB consider a qualified enough replacement to take over now or pull South Africa out of a mess of the depth suggested above?
Shaun Pollock, the current vice-captain? Pollock has played a significant 33 Tests and he is obviously a worthy wearer of the gilded family mantle. But he is only just working his way out of a form trough and to have the captaincy thrust on him now could well plunge him back into it.
Gary Kirsten, the team’s senior batsman? Leaving aside the real doubts over whether he would want the job, we come back to the case against Pollock – he is struggling enough with his own game without having to split his focus to the extent of taking on the team’s problems.
Jonty Rhodes? A man to go to war with, yebo. An experienced captain at any significant level? No. And at 30 – Cronje’s age – it’s too late to start learning the craft.
Allan Donald or Daryll Cullinan? These men are at the top of their respective trees in world cricket. To be there they require their own space, and to lump them with the burden of leadership would deny them that.
That takes care of the senior players, but let’s not forget Dale Benkenstein. This intelligent, constantly contemplating 25- year-old has captained so many teams he probably wakes up mumbling, “Pad up, boys, we’re batting.” He is Cronje’s natural successor and he did lead what amounted to a second string to the gold medal at the Commonwealth Games in Kuala Lumpur last year.
But Benkenstein is a baby in international terms – he has yet to play a Test – and his batting in Kenya showed he is still developing as a player at the highest level.
Phew. Poor old good bloke counts the bubbles on top of his Tusker and wonders whether it was such a good idea to have a drink with the hacks.
So we take pity on him and turn the equation around: what if South Africa romp to a 2-0 series victory over Zimbabwe and hand the Poms the hiding they’re expecting? The same Poms, incidentally, who reckon the squabbling down south represents just about their best chance of upsetting the South Africans.
Just what will the UCB do if it’s played four, won four? Fire the captain?
Wouldn’t that be a bloody perfect bit of mischief in whites!