Kit Peel
Linda Shaw’s Horoscope 2000, published last month, reveals a neurotic, feminine country in the hands of a man of overwhelming masculinity – a virile, dominant man handling a country with very low self- esteem.
It’s Cosmopolitan magazine meets the cosmos, and it’s a lot of fun. Little Miss South Africa, let us call her Saffy, is a bit of a mess. She’s uncommunicative and she’s not good at taking the initiative in relationships. Saffy knows the answer lies overseas but she’s mistrustful of what the international boutique has to offer her. Afraid of looking uncool, Saffy has gone on the defensive and has become a stroppy and self-important little madam. In contrast, Mbeki’s problem is that he’s not much of a Nineties man. He’s intelligent, charismatic and, according to celestial sexologist Shaw, he’s “probably a wonderful lover”, but he’s is not in tune with his feminine side. Not to say that he doesn’t have one. “In fact,” says Shaw, “if Mr Mbeki were to listen to his intuition he would have an almost direct access to the wisdom of the ages.” But because he has a deep- rooted feeling of being unloved, Mbeki has buried his intuitive, feminine side.
All of which doesn’t lead to a bed of roses in the forthcoming year, says Shaw. Mbeki and Saffy are looking at a roller- coaster ride of confidence gained and confidence lost. Mbeki himself will be confronted with an astrological mid-life crisis in the form of a “second Saturn return”, a period of personal transformation which will throw him off balance, pushing him to work harder and get tougher. Poor little Saffy will have to shape up or ship out, says Shaw.
“Of course, it’s all total nonsense,” says Janet Herloff-Petersen from the Astrological Institute of Research and Study. “There’s no validation of research done on this kind of thing. It’s all taken from some kind of astrological cookbook. These people don’t take into account a subject’s background, socio-economic and religious grouping. Real astrology is about pre-dispositions rather than facts. But, if this kind of thing gets published, then people will read it and go with it.”
Going along to a talk by Linda Shaw? “Well,” Herloff-Petersen advises, “polish your aura, do wear purple and what you do is hum as you go in. God only knows, maybe you should be chanting.”