From the US election fiasco to the cricket match-fixing scandal, it’s been an interesting start to the millennium David Le Page The United States Supreme Court helped George “Dubya” Bush to become that country’s next contribution to unfettered international capitalism, while 2,3-million votes across the country went uncounted.
In Russia, premier Boris Yeltsin stepped down in favour of former KGB apparatchik Vladimir Putin, on whose watch the Russian navy attempted to fudge the loss of the nuclear submarine Kursk and 114 crew members.
Vojislav Kostunica inherited Serbia from the vampire Slobodan Milosevic on a wave of people power; relations between North and South Korea thawed marginally; the annual World Bank/International Monetary Fund meetings in Prague were rocked by protests in favour of something or other.
A US circuit court judge told Microsoft it had employed anti-competitive practices and outlined a break-up plan, now held up by appeals.
In the Middle East, Israeli hawk Ariel Sharon visited Jerusalem’s Al Aqsa mosque, precipitating a new intifada, 330 deaths and the near-demise of outgoing US President Bill Clinton’s treasured peace process.
The Middle East crisis helped propel oil prices to record highs, retarding South Africa’s consumer renaissance.
South Africa’s credit rating was improved to investment grade by Standard & Poor’s after another mean budget from Minister of Finance Trevor Manuel. The minister announced plans for capital gains tax.
De Beers discovered how to make money by not selling “conflict diamonds”. Such gems were the lifeblood of Sierra Leonean rebel leader Foday Sankoh, captured as British troops thundered in to help the United Nations make its military intervention less messy.
Large-scale flooding and Mpuma-langa holiday homes washed through Mozambique, hammering its economy and long-suffering people.
In Zimbabwe, citizens rejected President Robert Mugabe’s proposed Constitution and opted for multi-party politics, giving the Movement for Democratic Change 57 of the 120 elected seats. Court tussles over DIY land reform continue.
The Zimbabwe crisis and Mbeki’s cloying relationship with Mugabe helped keep investors away from South Africa. Zimbabwe’s troubles helped hammer the rand below R7 to the dollar, leaving the currency within striking distance of R8 by year end. The fledgling euro took a drubbing.
The International Aids 2000 conference in Durban was dogged by Thabo Mbeki’s persistent flirtation with the Aids-dissidents’ notion that HIV does not cause Aids. Ever-loyal Mbeki representative Parks Manka-hlana died young, possibly of whatever it is HIV does cause. UNAids estimated that 4,2-million South Africans are HIV-positive. The government dithered over funding anti-retroviral drugs.
The Democratic Party inhaled the New National Party. The new, unholy Democratic Alliance increased its share of the national vote to 21% in the municipal elections. The DA conquered the Mother City, confirming that Cape Town is indeed another country. The DA’s Pieter Marais is being sued for sexual harassment after confessing his desire for a night-long drool over a colleague.
Despite another eight Cape Town bomb attacks and the killing of a magistrate, authorities have yet to justify hysterical finger-pointing at vigilante group People against Gangsterism and Drugs with an actual conviction.
Nodding to traditional law and ignoring the Bill of Rights, the Supreme Court of Appeal declined black women the right to inherit the estate of husbands who die intestate.
The Human Rights Commission discovered that the media is racist. Minister of Public Enterprises Jeff Radebe accused former Mail & Guar-dian journalist Lizeka Mda of lending her name to editor Phillip van Niekerk. Mda and Van Niekerk are suing.
The managers of the Central Energy Fund leased the country’s strategic reserves to international oil speculators for a year.
Tourists Callie and Monique Strydom returned, with the help of Libya’s Moammar Gadaffi, intact from the Philippines after three months as rebel hostages.
migr psychiatrist Aubrey Levin was discovered to have engineered an oppressive programme of enforced sex-changes for gays in the apartheid military.
Allan Boesak and Eugene Terre’-Blanche were jailed for fraud and assault respectively, Terre’Blanche squeezing out after losing his paunch.
Cape penguins were coated with oil from the stricken tanker Treasure; while devoted hey-shoos washed them.
KwaZulu-Natal’s Deputy Director of Correctional Services Russell Ngubo took a break from campaigning for the African National Congress to terrorise and murder swathes of the province’s population.
Various investigators are looking into serious improprieties in the government’s R43-billion arms deal. Judge Willem Heath was deemed by the Constitutional Court too judicial to head his anti-corruption unit.
The nation was horrified by police-dog training involving the mauling of suspected illegal immigrants.
South Africans spent about R2-billion on the lottery, and the government came up with increasingly imaginative ways to hold on to the money.
Manuel thwarted Nedcor’s bid to take over Standard Bank Investment Corporation and torpedoed the merger of Gold Fields and Canada’s Franco-Nevada. Billions of rands left the country to pay dividends to the shareholders of South African companies recently listed offshore.
The non-award of a third cellular licence threatened to explode into one of the most damaging sagas for the government since 1994.
The toned and the tanned were rocked by the liquidation of Health & Racquet Club owners Leisurenet. A phone call from former president Nelson Mandela brought Virgin’s Sir Richard Branson and a cheque for R319-million to the rescue.
Match-fixing national cricket captain Hansie Cronje’s love of money overwhelmed his love for God, leading to judicial inquiries, national disgrace and a million-rand appearance on M-Net.
South African Paralympians distinguished themselves in Sydney. The 2006 Football World Cup was hijacked for Germany by a disgruntled Kiwi. Springbok coach Nick Mallett was elbowed out of the scrum by the South African Rugby Football Union establishment.
Additional reporting by Nawaal Deane and Mungo Soggot