“The daily slaughters of men, women and children is an indictment against each and every one of you.” Former president Nelson Mandela, addressing the belligerents in the Burundi conflict in Tanzania
“The only way in which Dene Smuts was disadvantaged by apartheid was that she was prevented from having sex across the colour line.” Minister of Justice Penuell Maduna, in Parliament
“The church officially doesn’t like latex.” Father John of Saint Anthony’s Catholic church in Langa, Cape Town, regarding the church’s strong views on birth control
“I would like to summarise what the kaffirs have done to stuff up this country since they came into power … If a white buys a house, he pays transfer duties. If a kaffir buys a house, it is free of duties because he was ‘previously disadvantaged’.” President Thabo Mbeki, quoting from a letter by Deon Odendaal, sacked executive of Illovo Sugar
“We’ve been standing here for 26 seconds and nobody has been raped.” Ministers Penuell Maduna and Steve Tshwete, comment-ing on South Africa’s rape statistics during a CBS broadcast on rape in South Africa
“I am annoyed because you have just brought to a premature end my career as a serial killer.” Frenchman Pierre Navelot, when he appeared in court
“Now that you are all wealthier with the tax proposal, who’s going to take us out for dinner?” Minister of Finance Trevor Manuel, at a media briefing before his budget 2000 speech to Parliament
“The government blames the teachers, the teachers blame the parents, the parents blame the students, the students blame the government. In the end, instead of working it out, everyone gives up and goes off to a shebeen.” Minister of Education Kader Asmal, addressing Parliament about the incident where 300 pupils of the Ingxayizvile High School were found drinking in a Thokoza shebeen
“He’s almost a caricature of all the things people think black African leaders do. He seems to be wanting to make a cartoon of himself.” Desmond Tutu, talking to Swedish journalists about Zimbabwe’s embattled President Robert Mugabe
“If the ANC thinks a black woman can’t think for herself, then they should not have gone to the commission in the first place.” Lizeka Mda, features editor of The Star, on claims in the African National Congress’s submission to the Human Rights Commission that an article she wrote critical of Mbeki was, in fact, written by Mail & Guardian editor Phillip van Niekerk, who fraudulently put her name on it to disguise anti-black racist sentiments
“Life is like that. You preach one moment that divorce is unacceptable in God’s eyes and the next moment you are divorcing yourself.” An unnamed celebrity, comment-ing on the impending divorce of Rhema Pastor Ray McCauley from his wife, Lyndie
“I wish to emphasise that the allegations of match-fixing by myself are devoid of all truth.” Hansie Cronje
“I have searched every pocket of Hansie’s bank book, and everything. Mr McCauley took the bank book and went to check on that. There is absolutely nothing.” Minister of Sport and Recreation Ngconde Balfour
“They can go to hell.” Chenjerai “Hitler” Hunzvi, leader of Zimbabwe’s war veterans, speaking on a high court judgement ordering veterans to vacate illegally occupied land
“[Some former liberation leaders] despise the people who put them in power and want to stay in power for ever.” Mandela, lashing out at Mugabe
“I have put out some tentacles here and there.” Former Vlakplaas security commander Eugene de Kock, saying if he were freed he would like to help the governments of black states train people to get rid of landmines
“I’m heartbroken by what the chap is going through. I never thought he would be lost to cricket so early in his career. He used to be very good but, as he said, Satan got the better of him.” Mugabe sympathising with Cronje
“My brother, this Satan, we must all watch for him.” Mugabe
“Even if we put a baboon in Chivu, if you are Zanu-PF, you vote for that baboon. Whoever we put, you vote for him … When President Mugabe is not there, I run the country. If I sign your death warrant, you will hang.” Vice-President Simon Muzenda, at a Zanu-PF rally in Masvingo province
“The people of Zimbabwe have spoken. Whether their views have been recorded accurately is far more difficult to determine.” Democratic Alliance leader Tony Leon
“My presence here embodies the injustices of Aids in Africa. Amidst the poverty of Africa, I stand before you because I am able to purchase health and vigour. I am here because I can afford to pay for life itself.” High court Judge Edwin Cameron
“First he should forget about himself, he should forget about his ego, he should also be prepared to listen to the next man.” Mbeki’s 84-year-old mother Epainette, speaking on SABC radio about what advice she had for her son
“If white South Africa is fearful of the future because of what it might lose, black South Africa looks forward to the future because of what it will gain.” Mbeki in his speech at the opening session of the National Conference on Racism in Johannesburg
“We checked physical files, which go back to 1919, our computer system, records of examinations and degree certificates, but we have found no record of such a name.” Allen Shaw, Academic Registrar of Fort Hare University, on the newly appointed Correctional Services Commissioner, Reverend Lulamile Mbete, who claims he obtained his credentials there in 1976
“The Stone Age came to an end not for a lack of stones; the oil age will end, but not for a lack of oil.” Former Saudi oil minister Sheik Ahmed Zaki Yamani, saying that Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries will pay a heavy price for not acting in 1999 to control oil prices, now at a 10-year high
“They are all going. By Monday I will have proper staff, not a bunch of reptiles.” Faith Gasa, KwaZulu-Natal MEC for Education who firmly believes her predecessor, Eileen KaNkosi Shandu, has a hold over the department’s staff
“It would have been great if Prince Charles had been told to marry someone black. Imagine what message that would have sent out.” Lady Kate Gavron, vice-chair of the United Kingdomrace relations think-tank Runnymede Trust
“Nothing will change now. Peace is for Arafat and Barak, but not for our people.” An onlooker in the West Bank town of Nablus, despairing after another battle following Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak and Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat’s agreement to put an end to escalating violence
“It is a serious error for us to pause the peace process. The peace process is not a basketball match and does not have time-outs.” Justice Minister Yobsi Beilin, who was part of the 1993 peace accords, criticising Barak
“I have clean hands, but if I am elected president they will be stained in blood. You cannot govern Russia with white gloves on your hands.” Unsuccessful Russian presidential candidate Vladimir Zhirinovsky
“The first was too hot, the second was too cool, the third was just right.” United States Vice-President Al Gore, on winning the third and final presidential election debate against Republican candidate George W Bush
“No American will ever again be able to say ‘my vote doesn’t count’.” United States President Bill Clinton, on the election chaos
“The American people have spoken, but it’s going to take a little while to determine exactly what they said.” Clinton
“Frankly, we wouldn’t trust Dubya to run a fruit farm.” English tabloid The Mirror’s views on Republican Bush’s claim on the White House
“He’s about the most ignorant man who has ever run for president. Apart from his dyslexia, which his father also had, it’s bad enough when he can’t make a speech which isn’t filled with garbled words, But he got $70-million from corporate America and they expect him to pay them off. He got it because he was the son of the president. Nobody forgets that his father was a total failure.” Gore Vidal, on Bush
“It’s becoming increasingly clear that Vice-President Gore’s campaign simply wants to keep counting votes until they like the results.” Bush campaigner Karen Hughes, on recounting the votes in Florida
“Anybody who has taken orders from an organisation that is wrecked with corruption needs to have his head read by a shrink.” Balfour, lashing out at the National Olympic Committee and its president, Sam Ramsamy
“I was devastated. It also devastated the country and I don’t think it has recovered.” Dr Ali Bacher, saying how he felt when Cronje phoned him and admitted to taking money from a bookmaker
“I’ll tell you straight out about the great passion I have for my country, the great passion I have for my teammates, and the unfortunate love I have for money. Yes, I do like money, but I promise you that every time I walked on to the field, I gave my all for my country.” Cronje at the King commission
“A tragic day for Africa.” Mbeki, comment-ing on the Fifa World Cup bid decision in a televised address
“It had been made clear to me by influential European interests that if I vote in favour of South Africa, there would be adverse effects for the Oceania Football Confederation [OFC] and Fifa.” Disgraced OFC president Charles Dempsey
“A country like ours has to deal with that. That mother is going to die and that HIV-negative child will be an orphan. That child must be brought up, who is going to bring the child up? It’s the state, the state. That’s resources you see.” Presidential representative Parks Mankahlana quoted in the American magazine, Science.
“You must dig further and make sure that good news remains good news.” Mbeki, explaining to the Pretoria Press Club why the media should start taking a more positive attitude towards the government
“They were aware they would die on March 17 because the Virgin Mary had promised to appear at the camp during the morning hours to carry them to heaven.” Kampala resident Anastasia Komuhanti, after the mass suicide of hundreds of members of the Movement for the Restoration of the Ten Commandments of God
“If lust and greed for profit were behind this attack, then we all share the responsibility for creating a society where money triumphs over life.” KwaZulu-Natal Premier Lionel Mtshali, addressing mourners attending a memorial service for the 13 children who died at the Throb nightclub during a tear-gas attack
“Cricket is turning out to be a fine art of churning out grand farces.” The Times of India
“It’s time for this little boy who has been through so much to be with his father.” US Attorney General Janet Reno, speaking on the struggle over Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez
“I’m not excessive, I’m not only extravagant, I’m allergic to ugliness.” Imelda Marco, former first lady of the Philippines, famous for having the world’s largest collection of shoes
“To whites Freedom Day is a reminder of the day their own liberty and symbols ended. For blacks April 27 marks the beginning of freedom.” Gauteng MEC Mondli Gungubele
“I will go to prison this morning knowing that I am innocent. We will transform that prison from a place to shame to a place of pride.” Allan Boesak before beginning his his three-year jail sentence for fraud
“If he really called the policewoman a ‘f-g gorilla’ he should be man enough and admit it and apologise.” Graham McIntosh, Democratic Party representative for safety and security, calling on new police National Commissioner Jackie Selebi to go on leave pending the outcome of the probe into the charges that he swore at a Pretoria policewoman
“Simply because we had never governed before, we overestimated the amount of government resources when we were in exile.” Minister of Welfare and Population Development Zola Skeyiya, discussing his plans for South Africa’s first dole system
“Before we just slaughtered you. Now we are going to eat you as well.” Russian soldiers, addressing passing citizens of Grozny
“Since the wise men have not spoken, I speak that am only a fool; A fool that hath loved his folly.” Mbeki, quoting from the poem The Fool (by Patrick Henry Pearse) at the opening meeting of the Presidential Aids Review Panel
“Because … when eminent scientists said you had spoken out of turn it was difficult not to think that indeed one was a fool” Mbeki