In its variety and surprises, life can be more like a box of Quality Street. But, in the way we consume life, and the time allotted to us, life is closer to a bar stretching out ahead of us.
Let me explain. This is how I eat a slab of chocolate: rip off wrapper. Greedily consume seven eighths of bar in blind haze of sugar craving. Last two blocks. Sugar hits home. Eyes begin to refocus. Eating stops. Sadness and regret set in.
I need to consume my sadness. So I need a little more sugar. So I recommence eating. But this time I do it really slowly. A nibble on a corner, and a melting of each precious morsel in my mouth.
That, too, is life. So much of it is consumed in a mad rush. We lurch from schooldays, to idle varsity life (if we are lucky), to work, to marriage, to kids.
Yes there are lots of new experiences, but I wonder how much time is taken to pause in wonder at the whole big picture that is life. I’m talking about a respectful and appreciative moment of reflection after the first really satisfying bite. Wow, that tasted good.
That reflection comes naturally when a lot of life has been lived. We start to realise in our older years (so I’m told) that time is running out, and that it’s all gone by too fast.
We mourn our wasted youth, the missed opportunities, the many years we foolishly thought that time was something we’d never run out of. And it’s often only in those later years that we think about what we could have done.
Of course, when we are plumb in the middle of life it’s often hard to get perspective. We tend to focus on the immediate and specific constraints of time ? late for the meeting, weekend too short ? forgetting the bigger timeframe of our own life span.
But turn it around for a minute. We might know that we are 20 minutes late for an important conference, but we’ll never know if we have just 20 minutes left to live. And, even in the rush from A to B, we can step outside the frantic self, to observe perhaps how green the city is right now, even if it is whizzing by at illegal speeds.
I’ll be 35 later this year, half way through my allotted three score years and 10, if I’m lucky. I want to start savouring my life before I start panicking that I don’t have enough left.
Why can’t we do now what we’d do with hindsight (if not 20/20 vision) in our old age? The joy of that cup of tea, the pleasure of sitting quietly watching grass grow and some time ahead to still fulfill our dreams.
But appreciating time is not necessarily about doing less. After all, a life of self-indulgence ? even a constant round of leisurely lunches and endless shopping ? has its limits (I know, I’ve tried it).
Purpose is the key, I think, taking hold of challenges, even when they’re scary.
And goals don’t need to be becoming ”president of the whole universe in five years”, and the like.
A goal can be to spend one hour a week looking at the sky, freeing the spirit to dream and dance a little. Sometimes it’s about adding to someone else’s life, or allowing a mad moment of adventure and fun. And there’s a lot to be said for being silly. (I’m just not sure what it is!)
I don’t want to drift through life, or hide, or even achieve great success if my heart is not in it. Because, if the heart isn’t there, it’s a waste of time ? and that’s a waste of life. To quote life skills guru Phil McGraw (yes, I watch Oprah): ”Don’t dance for the world.” Dance for yourself.
And when you are exhausted from all that dancing, eat a bar of chocolate, slowly.
Sally Burdett, SABC radio and television news and current affairs anchor, is writing in her personal capacity