Finally, an important issue? the comb-over
Fancy going up against a chicken, in a game of noughts and crosses, for $10 000? Well, you’d have to get to Las Vegas to do it in person - but here’s an article detailing how a bunch of specially trained chickens are - even as we speak - milking the gamblers at a casino right now. Peck your way to Chicken Tic Tac Toe: www.vegas4visitors.com/column/gingerpho.htm
Need some tasteless but fun trinkets that you wont see in your local overpriced-junk-for-sale shop? Take a look through the goodies on offer - including Suicidal Teddy Bear Keyrings - at Bad Taste Bears!: www.piranhagifts.com/btb/
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, I was in the SADF, and amidst the binges of drugs, booze and suicidal depression, I had the brief joys of working on a switchboard.
Some high ranking officers also found themselves phoning a Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet in search of a Colonel Sanders who’d left them a message.
For a short shining moment, before punishment descended, anarchy ruled.
That rather arbitrary lead-in links us into this next site, which has downloadable sound clips from Schwarzenegger movies - which you can use to make prank calls to various people. Go take a listen to some of the calls to assorted fast food places, using Arnie’s voice - and download the clips and do it locally. Arnie’s Prank Calls!: www.btinternet.com/~pir8/arnie/
More prank calls - I’ve told you about hits one before - but it’s a classic. You might recall in the Simpson’s, Moe from Moe’s Tavern is repeatedly prank-called by Bart for non-existent customers (“I P Nightly” etc). Well, this concept originally came from a classic underground recording of a real series of classic prank calls, made to an increasingly foul-mouthed and evermore obscene irritated bar owner. Be warned the language is totally X-rated. Go to The Tube Bar Prank Calls: www.missioncreep.com/mw/tubebar/index.html
And the ‘official’ Tube Bar Callers Page: members.tripod.com/~bumbar/index.html
Cheese doesn’t do much, does it? It just lies there and waits to be eaten. Until someone had the bright idea of making a website featuring nice pictures of pieces of cheese, taken in famous and interesting places. Check out the sheer surreal silliness of Cheese On Tour!: www.cheeseontour.com/
New World Order time. The secret satanic cabal that some folks suggest actually run everything, must be rather pleased with the systematic attacks by the media on the Catholic Church, which has lost a lot of credibility recently. Time will tell if this next news item signals a start of a new campaign against yet another established orthodox faith - go browse Rabbi Fondling Teen: www.bergen.com/page.php?level_3_id=3&page=4108950
Then for a slightly different take on the clear conspiracy of 911, study the well-researched article at Political Deception 911: globalresearch.ca/articles/CHO206A.html
For a short but pithy look from down under, try this article titled Why We Should Be Worried About George W Bush: www.dailytelegraph.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5936,4599307%255E12634,00.html
And seeing as the latest Conspiracies TV show covered some familiar territory (Waco, Oklahoma Bomb blast etc) here are some links to find information directly from Source. In other words, don’t be content with watching a reasonably accurate 30-minute program and thinking you now know all there is to know about the events described. For a no-holds-barred look at the deliberate slaughter by government forces at Waco, of men, women and children - go to The Waco Holocaust Electronic Museum: www.public-action.com/SkyWriter/WacoMuseum/
Then, for a large number of articles detailing government complicity, as well as eyewitness evidence pointing to more than just Timothy McVeigh’s involvement - go to The Oklahoma City Bombing: www.thenewamerican.com/focus/okc/
For eyewitness accounts of a missile hitting Flight TWA 800 (which were ignored in the official inquiry) and more, start your journey at The Crash of Flight TWA 800: users.erols.com/igoddard/f800report.htm
Read assorted articles from one of the few large circulation newspapers to cover the many unanswered questions suggesting a TWA 800 Cover-up: www.press-enterprise.com/headlines/twa800/
Do some browsing (and cutting and pasting) of the evidence and material available at The Real History Archives: www.realhistoryarchives.com/index2.htm
And finally, saving the best until last. Alex Jones is a Texas talk radio host. He’s a bit of a nut sometimes, but generally he’s still a good example of what talk radio should be, (unlike the local 702 radio types, who generally operate on a retarded kindergarten level conceptually-speaking.) Browse his site at Alex Jones: www.infowars.com/
Alex Jones made a full two-and-a-half-hour documentary, covering Waco, Oklahoma, and 911 - which can be viewed online at The Road To Tyranny: cguru.dyns.cx:8082/road_to_tyranny.ram or, if that’s not working, try Tyranny Online(48min excerpts): www.defendersoffreedom.org/videos/9-11.ram
Or else you can download the entire film - 35megs - at Road to Tyranny: www.indybay.org/uploads/the_road_to_tyranny__34kbps_.rm
(If anyone locally has an FTP server up permanently, and doesn’t mind traffic, let me know - I’ll happily upload the film to them, and publicise the address in this column so local modem users can get to download the entire film.)
Hmm, I seem to have gone overboard with conspiracy links - but like the guy says ‘Don’t get me started!’. Let’s finish off with some comic strips and jokes, still in the political vein - and any site that advertises itself cheerfully as ‘Inciting angry black children since 1988’ can’t be all bad, right? Boondocks: www.boondocks.net/
Finally, go and have a read through the dark satire of the world according to - The Satanic Liberal Party of Australia!: lord.dark.tripod.com/
Until the next time, if chickens and outraged local talk show hosts don’t get me.
Ian Fraser is a playwright, author, comedian, conspiracy nut, old-time radio collector and self-confessed data-junkie. Winner of numerous Vita and Amstel Awards, he’s been an Internet addict and games-fanatic since around 1995, when the Internet began to make much more sense than theatre.