Okay firstly, just to offset the floods of readers’ e-mails putting me firmly right, the ‘WMD’ site from last week’s column has nothing whatsoever to do with Google – my mistake. Well done to sharp-eyed readers gleefully happy to catch out a writer asleep at the wheel.
I thought this week we’d go through the looking glass, and examine stories that just don’t ‘fit’ in the accepted view of reality as we know it, as well as look over some rather cool pranks and fun things you can do. To start off with – and this might be a shock for those of you who had bad science teachers who taught outdated ideas about what the Universe is – go read this article from the Scientific American – The Universe Might Be A Giant Hologram:
Now, in the ongoing quest to try and persuade you all that museums aren’t just quiet places to run through naked, screaming “The Velociraptors are coming!”, take a look at this museum dedicated to collections of assorted commercially available cans of meat. I’m a vegetarian so it’s just all too disgusting for words at The Potted Meat Museum.
Then, and it’s old news (at least 3 days old at time of writing) but too bizarre to ignore: You’ve heard of classic bad movie titles like ‘Lesbian Vampires From Sodom’ – well, how about a real-life genuine news story about Online Gay Cannibals.
And you may not have noticed the news item, in-between all the local irksome whining as this society violently implodes, but Tokyo scientists – not content with coming up with a translation device for dog owners to work out what their dog is saying – have come up with a translator for cats’ meows and purrs. Go take a look at the pix and read the report about The Cat Language Translator.
Gear change. ‘Human stupidity experiments’ time! Ever thought about getting a five rand coin and superglueing it to the floor somewhere and watching the fun from a distance? To see what happens when you glue money to a pavement, and film the results, grab the 5meg film file here – at Ooh Free Pavement Money.
While its downloading, you might get some really good ideas for public pranks, as well as seeing just how dumb humans can be in believing the Media, at the Top 100 April Fool’s Day Hoaxes Of All Time. Or, if you have time to kill: You always hear about dogs chasing cars— Well, consider the cool mean fun to be had, from strapping a camera onto a radio controlled car, and going and chasing a dog. The SPCA may not like the looks of horror on the dogs face, but I did. Car Chases Dog. This followed the classic site made by some bored guy who decided to put a camera on a car and Chase Pigeons.
I’m a firm fan of reality cracking; in other words – ‘pranks’. I’m not talking about stupid or mean things done on co-workers, but something deeper. To start with – read this very interesting article titled Pranks – An Approach to Reality Cracking.
Now into the fun. Overseas there’s a supermarket chain called Safeways. They have a shopper card scheme, which isn’t a credit card or anything, it’s just the usual rubbish piece of plastic designed to help the supermarket track the shopping habits of people. There are a number of local equivalents, so if a bright spark reader decides to try this prank to screw up a local companies research stats, make a webpage and let me know, I’ll publicize and participate happily. Now, how it works: A cheerful anarchist decided to print out and spread his bar code from his ‘shopper card’ around the country, so that suddenly (according to the supermarket stats) ONE shopper appears to be buying thousands of different items on a daily basis from hundreds of different stores. Naturally, this messes up the supermarkets digital statistics completely. And no, seeing as it’s not a credit card, it’s not illegal to play with. Come on readers, pick a local store that’s handing out plastic cards with a barcode, and let’s create a local Ultimate Shopper to mess with the system. Go take a look at the concept in action at The Ultimate Shopper.
Macdonalds is everywhere these days, and like their international counterparts, are not known for being run by eagle-eyed brain surgeons. So, what about spending a little time and using Photoshop and a good printer, and doing what one happy consumer decided to do – he added a picture of Jason Biggs (of ghastly teenage coming-of-age film American Pie fame) alongside the apple pie item on the drive-thru menu at Macdonald’s. Try Replacing Macdonald’s Menu’s On The Drive Thru.
Here’s a page by one of the many folks who do late night replacing of parts of the official Macdonald’s Drive Through Menu.
Come on folks, Photoshop someone and put them on the Macdonald’s Drive Thru in YOUR neighborhood. Send pix and if they’re good enough, maybe my Editor (Peace Be Upon Him) will even print it. Or at least recommend a good lawyer.
Then if you’re in a McHappy mood, drunk and have decided that spitting alcohol over a burning book to see what happens might be a really fun idea, call librarian friends and firemen to look at the photographs of A Mouthful of Absinthe and a Burning Book.
In normal countries, you can have fun at night in public. Consider for example, what happens when a large number of people secretly arrange to meet on public transport, a train for example, bringing along everything needed to have a wild party – from sound system and a bar, through to masks, wigs and nice colored cellophane to put over the awful official lights on the train. Much chaos and fun ensues. (You can do the same here, perhaps on a bus?) Go read about the concept via a Guardian article. Then follow the links off Circle Line Party. And the pictures are fabulous at London Underground Party. As well as (and be warned that there’s some happy nude people visible) in the equally cool pix and story at Free Party On The London Underground. (On the Space Hijackers site, note the fun that was had at the ‘Holding Your Breath and Not Touching The Floor’ Tour around London – methinks the Union Buildings need a tour like this to be done.
Everyone by now has seen the ‘Scan your Cat’ website, but how about a site with pix of different kinds of food being squished onto a scanner, and then made into animated gifs. Take a look at Food Scans.
Gear change again. If you’ve had the joys of running into maladjusted men and women (and if you think that even pointing this out is somehow ‘sexist’ – focus on the real enemy and go throw paint on advertising billboards or Pop Idols wannabee’s, or just grow up rather) Take a slow, very cautious browse through some of the sad and horrific stories at Bunny Boilers Scary Stories.
Briefly into politics – well – almost. Donald Rumsfeld is not only the US Secretary of Defence, or the guy who wishes no one had taken film of Saddam Hussein greeting him warmly – he’s also a poet of note. Okay, not really. Take a look at The Poetry of D.H Rumsfeld.
You’ll have heard about the recent death of a UK scientist, who was involved in the growing can of worms over the truth about Iraq and its supposed WMD capability. Read this report, and especially the brief extract from an email, midway down the page, sent by him the day before he ‘killed himself’. (Odd how it reads like someone, who was quite happy being alive, isn’t it?) Check out UK Scientist Death.
Now, given that Kelly was Head of Microbiology at the Chemical and Biological Defence Establishment (from 1984 -1992), at Porton Down, longtime readers of this column will recall my pointing out of the ongoing strange deaths of leading microbiologists worldwide. Stare thoughtfully and work out the statistical impossibility of this being coincidence at Where Have All The Scientists Gone?.
Then read the classic article I pointed you towards last year titled A Career In Microbiology Can Be Harmful To Your Health. (One of the possible reasons for the ongoing deaths of the top rungs of scientists in the Microbiology/DNA sequencing field is that something serious disease-wise is coming and Unknown Forces are removing everyone who might be skilled enough to prevent it).
A columnist from an Atlanta newspaper had a run in with the FBI recently. Go read the unfolding story of what happens when you have a beard and are (gasp) reading in a public place in America. Visit The FBI Is Watching.
And finally, just to show what to do if you ever get fake ‘this could be yours’ cheques from any junk mail companies – read the truly fascinating and informative story of the man who decided to deposit his (fake) cheque for $95 000 – and what happened. Read Depositing Junk Mail Cheque.
Until the next time, if MacDonalds don’t get me.
Ian Fraser is a playwright, author, comedian, conspiracy nut, old-time radio collector and self-confessed data-junkie. Winner of numerous Vita and Amstel Awards, he’s been an Internet addict and games-fanatic since around 1995, when the Internet began to make much more sense than theatre.