They are, at least, an improvement on the stripy monstrosities of yore. The new rugby shirt may have a Nike swoosh swooping up to the armpit, handily pointing out any sweat stains in case anyone overlooked them, but remember those chunky horizontal stripes? Might as well have stuffed a cushion and a couple of tyres beneath your top to finish it off.
I have no idea whether the new tight-fit shirt really does make it harder for the players to be tackled, as the makers claim, but (a) it does make their six-packs easier to admire and (b) it will be more flattering on the women who wear them, and both of the above can only be seen as kindnesses to the female gender. The fact that the shirts fell apart on their first outing this weekend could be a bit of a disadvantage, but seeing as there are women who will spend R3000 on shoes that they can only wear when no walking is involved, practicality is not always an issue in fashion.
So if the old-style rugby shirts really were so unflattering, why did so many women wear them? Given that men’s sports clothes tend to be more about functionality than aesthetics, when a woman wears them, her real message is: ‘I have a boyfriend; we’ve probably just shagged; oh dear, what a mess I am; giggle, giggle.”
Designers have, almost inevitably, attempted to give the traditional shirt an ‘ironic” fashionable spin. For next summer, Chloe has recreated them as little dresses and tops.
Now, of course, these stripes look terribly retro, which, weirdly, might
actually make them stylish in the eyes of fashion folk. Thus, the new rugby tops might not wholly hit the fashion mark, but they might well make their previously irredeemable predecessors quite the dernier cri.
Now that would be fashion irony. —