It’s that time of the year when some pretty strange things start happening in the world of golf. Nick Faldo buys an island for £2,5-million to develop a golf course there, then lands in court with local Mary Molloy, who claims it was her island first.
Jan Stephenson thinks like a total Niblick and says Asian players are killing the LPGA Tour for their lack of emotion and refusal to speak English, and that the tour should sell sex more.
The eternally grumpy Colin Montgomerie declares he is happy, after winning the Macau Open. Sophie Gustafson’s win in the Samsung World Championship is surrounded by controversy because she is dating Ladies European Tour commissioner Ty Votaw.
And then there’s the usual dose of weirdness, such as news that golf balls treated with powerful doses of radiation travel further. By the way, they’ve named them Gamma Balls.
And how about the annual Trashmasters Golf Tournament in Colorado, a tournament that rewards the most bizarre occurrences in a round of golf, and boasts of having had celebrity golfers such as Dan Quayle and Michael Douglas in its fields.
Former tour professional and now commentator and writer David Feherty has even been known to suggest a ‘Vicious Ex-Wife vs Current Topless Dancer Girlfriend Challenge†for this time of the year that, in golfing parlance, is known as the silly season.
It’s a time when golf stops taking itself so seriously and shows off a little more than just the fringe of its greens.
And so we turn our attention to the Arabella Country Estate in the Western Cape. This weekend a six foot five British supermodel and a former Nascar champion will be among the field assembled for the Nelson Mandela Invitational.
Every year a select group of golfers and celebrities join forces to raise money for the Nelson Mandela Children’s Fund and the Gary Player Fund, and golf has become quite a tidy vehicle for this worthy charity.
There are few sports where you could pair supermodel Jodie Kidd with a legend such as Jack Nicklaus, or shell out R20 to witness John Bland and Simon Hobday argue about who is going to pay for the drinks, or hear John Mashego proclaim he never gets upset when he misses putts as no white ball ever listened to a black golfer.
Equally so, golf is one of those rare games where you can have a black tie function with Gary Player and Minister of Finance Trevor Manuel on the eve of this event, and then have those same dignitaries, along with Samuel L Jackson, Alec Stewart, Barry Richards and Danny Sullivan, jamming it up to the tunes of Mandoza the next night.
And if you actually wanted to watch some golf, well they’ve catered for you as well with a top-class field including Tim Clark, Lee Westwood, Andrew Coltart, Richard Sterne, Hennie Otto, Bob Charles, Hugh Baiocchi, John Fourie and Vincent Tshabalala.
Or you could just rent a plane, take 80 golf balls up there with you and see how many you can drop on your local course’s greens in a match from the air with your club pro, as Captain Pennington did in the early 1900s. Or how about following in the footsteps of eminent vocalist Harry Dearth and playing a round attired in a complete suit of heavy armour? Now, where’d I put those Gamma Balls?