Acting up at Isandlwana
Oom Krisjan wasn’t invited, but he hears that down in piesangland last weekend there were festivities to mark the 125th anniversary of the Battle of Isandlwana, where the Zulus gave the rooinekke one of the heaviest pakslae they’d ever experienced on the battlefield.
King Goodwill Zwelithini asked the Brits to pay up after all these years, and the Prince formerly known as Gatsha reminisced about the days when he played King Cetshwayo in the film Zulu, which focused on the battle of Rorkes Drift (on the same day). Facing up to Michael Caine and Stanley Baker was surely easier than being minister of home affairs.
Lemmer was amused to read how the BBC’s website reported on the event: ”Some 300 Zulu warriors dressed in leopard and cattle skins and armed with makeshift spears faced about 35 actors in red coats to re-enact the battle of Isandhlwana.”
So the Zulus were genuine warriors — the mlungus were merely actors. Hmmm. Worrying, especially in the run-up to elections.
Beyond the pale?
While trawling the Internet the other night, Oom Krisjan came across a funny little story on the Wall Street Journal site. Ja, Lemmer doesn’t just visit the porn palaces.
Apparently a former South African, studying at the Westside High School in Omaha, Nebraska, is in trouble because he and his friends have been putting up posters urging the school to give him its ”Distinguished African-American Student Award”.
But school officials say Trevor Richards is ineligible for the award — given out every Martin Luther King day — because he’s a ”person of pallor”.
Takeaways
OK, Lemmer can’t resist: So Judge Siraj Desai phones hotel room service and asks them to send up a juicy fat salome …
Pooper-snoopers
All those who consider walking the pavements of our suburbs to be an urban-guerilla course, will take heart when they learn what’s happening in the Spanish city of Tarranga.
Accoriding to The Guardian, city officials have taken the fight against irresponsible dog-owners to a new level by hiring a team of undercover pet detectives to catch those who do not clear up after their dogs.
The mayor, Joan Miquel Nadal, has warned that the poop-snoopers may soon be watching and filming the animals every bowel movement. ”People have been warned. We will send out patrols and issue fines. No one can say they did not know,” he said.
Oh no, not Omo!
Goalkeeper Leigh Walker learned a salutory lesson this week. Although his Scarborough team had lost 1-0 to Chelsea in the FA Cup last weekend, the youngster thought he had a wonderful souvenir of the occasion — his jersey, signed by his opposite number, Carlo Cudicini. But the next morning Walker’s mother found the muddy shirt on his bed — and washed it.
Though the manne raised their glasses in silent commiseration, several of the tannies who frequent the Dorsbult — especially those with teenage sons — don’t feel sorry for him at all.
All quiet at the top
While travelling through cyberspace the other night — in between Klippies and Cokes — Lemmer stumbled on the Government Communication and Information System (GCIS) page. Ah, bringing government to the people.
Then Oom Krisjan noticed that, according to the ”speeches & statements on government communication issues” page, no one had said anything since May 2002. The most recent item was an address by Minister in Oom Thabo’s Trousers Essop Pahad, on the GCIS budget vote in the National Assembly in that year. Things must be bad in the communication department if they didn’t even have a vote last year.
Well played, sport
Several manne who play sport deride those effete footballers who hug and kiss after every goal. Oom Krisjan even saw two Portuguese league players — on opposite teams — recently literally kiss and make up after a foul.
But, if baseball’s very manly way of congratulating a teammate is the alternative, Lemmer will stick to soccer, thanks. Whatever happened to the old pat on the bum?