The great Boer conspiracy
When the National Party government was in power in South Africa it had a tendency to, as the saying goes, ”see a red under every bed”. So Lemmer is quite amused to note that those who support the decidedly paranoid nutter up north are now tending to see a Boer under every bed instead.
Zimbabwe’s increasingly slavish state-owned media suffered a setback recently when one of its editors failed to secure recognition of the government-aligned Zimbabwe Association of Editors as the authentic voice of Zim media at a meeting of the Southern African Editors Forum in Windhoek.
Explaining the rebuff to his readers, Bulawayo Chronicle editor Stephen Ndlovu, who chairs the boot-lickers’ body, claimed the exclusion of his association was initiated by ”United States-bound editor of Beeld Henry Jeffreys, a South African, at the behest of Zimbabwe Independent editor Iden Wetherell. The two have strong Boer links, said sources.”
The report continued: ”Sources said Wetherell was in direct communication with Jeffreys who promised him that he would ensure that Zimbabwe would be thrown out.”
Wetherell, who is the very Anglo-Saxon chair of the Zimbabwe National Editors Forum, which represents papers in the independent media, received news of his ”strong Boer links” with surprise. And Jeffreys, who is black, must have been equally surprised to hear of his. Wetherell and Jeffreys have neither met nor communicated. Which makes news of their conspiracy all the more intriguing.
Sub judice
Funny how it’s the manne who sign the arms deals and the women who get to crack the champagne over the billion-dollar hunks of steel. Good old Ruth Mompati was kicked off to Kiel in Germany this week to name the first of the submarines as they rolled off the line. Helena Retief, wife of the navy head Johann, named the last frigate. Mompati christened the submarine the ”S101”.
Now that lacks any imagination, so Krisjan and his mates have decided to help, much as we think the arms deal is the biggest waste of dosh since Eschel Rhoodie started The Citizen. How about: ”Headache”; ”Zuma’s Nightmare”; ”Milch-Shaikh” or ”Bulelani’s Baby”?
Knowing the devil
Oom Krisjan took to the Internet this week to look into the background behind the parliamentary committee’s slow-moving consideration of the public protector’s report that National Director of Public Prosecutions Bulelani Ngcuka had treated unfairly and impinged on the dignity of Jacob Zuma in the way he handled an investigation of the deputy president.
Lawrence Mushwana became South Africa’s second Public Protector in late 2002. Here’s what Sapa reported he said on September 26 2002 — shortly after he was approved for the post by Parliament. ”Mushwana also described former ANC MP Bulelani Ngcuka, who became national director of public prosecutions, and ex-ANC MP Willie Hofmeyr, who became the head of the assets forfeiture unit, as politicians who had acquitted themselves well in their new posts serving the community. ‘No one is saying they’re not doing good jobs.’ Mushwana also said he did not believe that other nominees for the post were apolitical. It might be a case of better ‘to have the devil you know, than you don’t know’, he said.”
Mushwana was nominated by the parliamentary ad hoc committee, which interviewed several candidates. Again quoting Sapa (September 18 2002): ”ANC MP Mike Masutha said his party had no doubt that Mushwana was the most suitable candidate. The fact that he spoke 10 out of the country’s 11 official languages would make him generally accessible to all South Africans.”
Guess who currently serves on the ad hoc committee refereeing the public protector report? None other than Masutha.
Gay pride
Lemmer was tickled pink when this arrived in the mailbox.
Short circuit
Ever since the Jozi municipality decided to splinter into little bits named after the Paris underground, Oom Krisjan believes service has gone down the tubes. Take, for example, the press release sent out last week by Nthatisi Modingoane, the city’s media liaison officer, on the reasons behind a power outage that lasted several hours (and assuring all affected media that technicians were working hard to get the electricity restored). This communication was sent via e-mail.
X-rated
The mother grundies who write in to the Broadcasting Complaints Commission of South Africa at the drop of a hat have really outdone themselves this time. Apparently the commission has received complaints about violent behaviour on wrestling broadcasts and all future transmissions will have to carry a PG restriction. Oom Krisjan wonders what’s in store for rugby, then, an X-certificate?
Tokyo rose
The manne were so happy last Friday night when we saw Oom Tokyo Sexwale and his wife’s Franschoek farm on SABC3’s Top Billing. Oom Tokyo really has a very nice farm. Lemmer especially loves all the vineyards. But will someone tell Oom Tokyo that the South African flag he flies outside the main house is upside down. Or is he making a point?