Michael Moore fires George Bush

In a last-ditch effort to spur the American electorate into voting for Democrat John Kerry, filmmaker Michael Moore published a letter on his website on Monday.

Addressing ”decent Conservatives and recovering Republicans”, the director of Fahrenheit 9/11, Bowling for Columbine and Roger and Me says: ”In your heart of hearts you know Bush is a miserable failure.”

In the letter, entitled One Day Left, Moore says Bush had fought the investigation into the September 11 attacks ”every step of the way”.

”If 3 000 people died at your place of work and your boss said we don’t need to find out why or how it happened, he’d be thrown out on his ear. Bush’s behaviour after this great tragedy alone is reason enough for his removal.

”He’s a reckless spender who has run up record-breaking deficits and the biggest debt in our history. He believes in having the government pry into everything from your library records to your bedroom. He has hit you with hidden taxes with his tax cuts for the rich.

”I know many of you don’t like Bush, but are unsure of Kerry. Give the new guy a chance. He won’t raise your taxes (unless you are super-rich), he won’t take your hunting gun away, and he won’t make you visit France. He risked his life for you many years ago,” says Moore.

Addressing his ”friends on the left”, Moore points out that while Kerry isn’t everything they wished he would be, ”we’re not on the ballot, Kerry is”.

”President Kerry had better bring the troops home right away. My prediction: Kerry’s roots are anti-war. He has seen the horrors of war and because of that he will avoid war unless it is absolutely necessary. Ask most vets. But don’t ask someone whose only horror was when he arrived too late for a kegger in Alabama.

”There’s a reason Bush calls Kerry the Number One Liberal in the Senate — THAT’S BECAUSE HE IS THE NUMBER ONE LIBERAL IN THE SENATE! What more do you want? My friends, this is about as good as it gets when voting for the Democrat.”

To the non-voters, Moore says he understands their reasons.

”Yes, politicians suck. But so do car salesmen — and that hasn’t stopped you from buying a car.

”Almost 50% of Americans don’t vote. That means you belong to the largest political party in America — the Non-Voting Party. That means you hold all the power to toss George W Bush out of the Oval Office. How cool is that?

”I believe that we are going to have the largest election turnout in our lifetime tomorrow. You don’t want to miss out on that. The lines at the polls are going to be long and raucous and fun. It is an historic election. You won’t want to say that you were the only one who wasn’t there. Promise me you’ll vote, just this one time.”

Addressing African-Americans, Moore says the United States is a country that still has a race problem, ”to put it nicely”.

”Gore would be president today had thousands of African-Americans not had their right to vote stolen from them in Florida in 2000.

”Here is my commitment: I will do everything I can to make sure that this will not happen again. And I’m not the only one making this pledge. Thousands of volunteer lawyers are flying to Florida to act as poll watchers and intervene should there be any attempts to deny anyone their right to vote. They will NOT be messing around.”

For his part, Moore says he has organised an army of 1 200 professional and amateur filmmakers, ”who will be armed with video cameras throughout the states of Florida and Ohio”.

”At the first sign of criminality, we will dispatch a camera crew to where the vote fraud is taking place and record what is going on. We will put a big public spotlight on any wrongdoing by Republican officials in those two states. They will not get away with this as they did in 2000,” says Moore.

”In Ohio, the Republicans are sending almost 2 000 paid ‘poll challengers’ into the black precincts of Cleveland in an attempt to stop African-Americans from voting. This action is beyond despicable. Do not let this stop you from voting. I, and thousand of others, will be there to fight for you and protect you.”

To Bush: ”I know it’s gotta be rough for you right now. Hey, we’ve all been there. ‘You’re fired’ are two horrible words when put together in that order. Bin Laden surfacing this weekend to remind the American people of your total and complete failure to capture him was a cruel trick or treat. But there he was.

”Three thousand people were killed and he’s laughing in your face. Why did you stop our special forces from going after him? Why did you forget about Bin Laden on the DAY AFTER 9/11 and tell your terrorism czar to concentrate on Iraq instead?”

Moore praises Kerry, saying: ”Thank you. And don’t worry — none of us are going away after you are inaugurated. We’ll be there to hold your hand and keep you honest. Don’t let us down. We’re betting you won’t. So is the rest of the world.

”That’s it. See you at the polls — and at the victory party tomorrow night,” concludes Moore’s statement.

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