It was a dark and stormy night in the Visdorp when the devil appeared to Joseph. ”Do you know who I am?” he asked. ”Gimme a hint,” said Joseph. The devil twirled his moustache and cried: ”I am the dark lord!” ”Just as I thought,” said Joseph. ”The bladdy CEO of Eskom.”
A brick in the wall
Since she got a job waitressing at one of the Visdorp’s more famous Indian restaurants, Bakvis Labuschagne (Vrot Snoek’s youngest sussie) has become used to seeing celebrities. But in this week’s call to boetie Vrot, she confessed to dropping a plate recently when Western Cape education minister Cameron Dugmore and a colleague burst into a hearty rendition of Pink Floyd, singing ”We don’t need no education”. Whom were they serenading? Kader Asmal, naturally. The former national education minister reportedly endured two more numbers before bailing, presumably a victim of outcomes-based harmony.
Lame duck season
A Sunday Times lamppost placard last weekend seemed at first glance to promise a meditation on a post-Mbeki future. But, given the winter of discontent apparently freezing old alliances, Lemmer wonders whether ”ANC after Mbeki” wasn’t simply describing a hunt.
Man of Steel?
When the Man of Steel starts vrying with an oke, you know you’re not in Kansas — or the Marico — any more. And when someone produced this month’s issue of Men’s Health, and turned to an article about a new Superman fillem, those red and blue tights and all that heterosexual abstinence started to make sense. According to the magazine, Clark Kent’s stuk in the new fillem is none other than ace reporter Louis Lane, but the manne can’t figure out why he’s being played by Kate Bosworth. Vrot Snoek has done extensive online research, and reports that Ms Bosworth looks nothing like an oke.
Be all you can’t be
Oom Krisjan hears that the United States Army is launching a computer game called America’s Army, designed and marketed purely by the military. While the game allows armchair butchers the usual shoot-’em-up excesses, its main goal is allegedly to give the army a more human face. Said Sergeant Matt Zedwick, wounded in Iraq and now studying graphic design, ”It shows we are not robots, that we’re not trained killing machines.” Ja well no fine. But if they’re not robots or trained killing machines, can we assume that they’re humanly fallible untrained killing machines that moonlight in graphic design?