Dear Comrade Editor
I was invited to join the Native Club last week, so that should put paid to all those horrible rumours that the Native Club is racist, ie for black intellectuals only.
I know that to many a blacks-only thing sounds terribly familiar, but in a democratic multiracial society, we have the right to decide. Jews choose their kosher-only clubs, Muslims choose their halaal-only mosques, while gays choose their slegs-pienk-en-leer bars.
Patricia de Lille’s friends meet in a garage.
So why shouldn’t blacks have their own place?
In the past it was called the township, a bantustan or a jail. But now it is a beautiful, elegant venue that has all the best in catering facilities, comfort and security. They deserve it, siestog.
I was thrilled to be invited by chairperson Titus Mafolo to join his Native Club.
I said: “But I’m not black.”
He said: “No, Evita, you’re a white Afrikaner racist.”
I said: “Not a racist, Titus, just a citizen.”
He laughed.
I said: “But do you see me as an intellectual?”
He said no.
I then explained to him that we started the Afrikaner Broederbond for Afrikaner intellectuals, but that it took five years to find one. Eventually we just lied. I said to him: “Comrade Mafolo, don’t be shy. Learn from us in the old National Party. BEE has shown that you know what you’re looking for.”
Of course, as a white Afrikaner woman I won’t be in the hallowed halls of black intellectual power. I will be in the Native Club kitchen. No native wants to have that job any more.
I will organise the menu and believe me, it’s already become a nightmare. I’ve prepared all the traditional nice native cuisine, but now I’m told they all want the latest in French, Chinese and Mongolian fare. Maybe I can sneak a putupap-soufflé in with the succhi and the Atkins Diet?
So stop attacking the Native Club. If you don’t like it, form your own. That’s what democracy is all about: anyone can do it, if you can afford it and be intellectual enough to understand the small print.
Gogo Evita Bezuidenhout
Induna Catering: Native Club (BEE Only)