/ 25 August 2006

Gravy train

This week the Independent Democrats were calling for reforms after the Democratic Alliance fessed up to accepting large donations from Brett Kebble. Oom Krisjan sees a pattern emerging: when it transpires that Kebble gave the ID half a million bucks, the ACDP will call for reform, until it is revealed by the Freedom Front Plus that the ACDP got R2 000 and a satellite TV from Kebble, at which point the IFP will discover that the FF+ were given R200 and a subscription to Veld & Flora … Et cetera.

Eagle eye

Monday night’s e.tv news broadcast featured the launch of Ngconde Balfour’s new anti-prison-break closed-circuit television camera system, and the manne were wowed by the banks of screens and stern-looking operators peering at the monitors. However, it seems that the minister is taking the idea of blind justice a little too seriously: one of the three surveillance operators had a large bandage stuck over his right eye. Big Brother is watching — sort of.

We’re on your side

Outgoing Pick ‘n Pay boss Sean Summers says it was ”inexcusable” that he drove at 186kph on the East Rand last week, and the manne agree. No doubt the Ekurhuleni Metro Police want to fine the oom or have him up in court; but the manne reckon there’s only one sure-fire way of killing the speed-freak millionaire’s buzz: do a Pick ‘n Pay on him, and replace his Ferrari with a no-name-brand model. White and blue instead of red, upholstered in paper instead of leather, it will look like a Ferrari, drive like a Ferrari — hell, it will be a Ferrari. But somehow it just won’t be the same.

Apple for the teacher

The Greater Groblersdal Municipality in Limpopo has been accused of indulging in ”jobs for comrades” after someone qualified to be a primary school teacher was appointed as the local economic development director. Lemmer can see why the manne out there are cross, but give the oke a chance. After all, isn’t local government just a big kindergarten, with toy-throwing and hands wedged into cookie-jars?

Deafening silence

In his latest mega-memo on the African National Congress website, the president lauds brave little Lesotho for tackling corporate corruption. Given that white-collar crime robs South Africa of between R50-billion and R150-billion a year, it was an essay all the manne supported in principle. Dok Rabie wasn’t convinced though: after all, he said, if you’re writing 2 000 words about Western devils being stamped on by Basothos, you can’t be writing 2 000 words about Robert Mugabe stamping on starving Zimbabweans.