Lemmer never gets The Star here in the Dorsbult. So the manne were amazed at how lekker it’s become. On the pulse and all that. This week they revealed that Mandoza’s up for the Presidency. Now there’s a plan. A boer couldn’t make a better one. And for deputy president? My vote goes to Mzekezeke instead of old shower-head.
Very Impressive Perks
The manne were punting Kgalema Motlanthe as prez after last week’s performance in Limpopo. He was gaaning aan about VIP queues, VIP tents and the rest of the nonsense that’s created a yawning gap called Zuma. Lemmer wonders who it was he regularly sees flying larney class and not on that white travellers’ minibus called kulula.com? Must be Motlanthe’s twin.
Good riddance
Lemmer sees that the white-flight-porn site Crime Expo South Africa has voted with its feet. Visit www. crimexposouthafrica.co.za and one is told that: ”This URL seized [sic] to exist. Connect to the new URL based in the United States.” The Oom assumes the server now sits in a wooden shack under white sheets with holes cut in them, somewhere in the Alabama backwoods …
Double vision
The Oom can’t understand how I didn’t notice it before. Donder!? My first editor, Anton Harber, and the late mining ”mogul” pal of the Youth League were separated at birth. I always wondered how Harber kept this rag going. Now you know.
Material swirl
First came the news that the 15th largest diamond in the world had been unearthed in Lesotho. Then Madonna descended on Malawi to adopt a child. The manne are wondering whether Madge wasn’t planning a heist, and has been thwarted by the fact that Malawi and Lesotho are not two small neighbouring villages in the country of ”Afrikuh”.
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Rock me, baby
The Oom hears that Karen Zoid is expecting her first Zoidtjie. Lemmer can’t help wondering whether the growing Zoidtjie isn’t a bit gatvol of hearing Ma sing, ”I’ll get stuck in a small room with you.” You try staying curled up for nine months, and then see if you’re still so bok about small rooms, Ma.