Are Muslims funny? I get asked this question a lot. People also ask me: ‘Why are you doing stand-up comedy instead of medicine?” Well, one of the reasons is that I never really get applause doing medicine. Let’s be honest, rectal exams don’t really inspire standing ovations. ‘Encore, Doctor, encore! I wished it would never end.”
I guess people ask me these questions because of the supposed dichotomy of the various aspects of my life. They must be thinking: ‘How can a medical doctor do stand-up comedy?” Well, laughter is the best medicine. I guess I could follow it on that level. But now they’re saying funny and Muslim — that’s really pushing it.
Why are people so intrigued by the concept of a Muslim with a sense of humour? Why is that weird?
Laughter is an instinctive behaviour programmed by our genes. It is a universal language. Since the beginning of time, all people have used humour to deal with hardship and pain because of the positive effects of laughter on a physiological level. Laughter lowers blood pressure, improves cardiac output, cardiac contractility and the immune response — and when painful things happen to you, humour can relieve the tension.
I went to London with a group of comedians to do a comedy show. At passport control I was subjected to a ‘random check”. I’m not sure it was so random.
It was like, ‘John Vlismas, welcome to London. Chris Forrest, welcome to London. Martin Jonas, welcome to London. Riaad Moosa, could you step this way please, sir.”
I thought it was a joke because I was with a group of comedians. Did they think I was part of the comedic wing of alQaeda? ‘You are all my hostages. We are awaiting our demands. So, in the meantime — two Iraqis walk into a bar — Haraam, haraam.”
I shouldn’t make fun of these anti-terrorist protocols. The truth is that they have cohorts of anti-terrorist experts with Ivy League university degrees spending every minute of their lives studying psychological profiles of so-called ‘terrorists”. Day in and day out, they use the latest international espionage techniques and satellite surveillance information to determine an extremely comprehensive and accurate terrorist profile. Apparently, I fit the description.
What are they telling these guys in the briefings?
‘All right fellows, be wary of Asian-looking men between the ages of 15 and 102, height 4,9 to seven feet. They also tend to nod their heads from side to side — and I think they eat curry.”
I think people have these fears because of the portrayal of Islam on television. There are so many negative Islamic images; sometimes we as Muslims even discriminate against ourselves. For example, I was looking in the mirror the other day and I became suspicious. I decided to pat myself down just in case. You never know what I could be carrying. They say so on CNN, so it must be true.
We are the new face of the ‘enemy”. First it was the Cowboys v the Indians. Of course, by Indians I mean Native Americans. I don’t mean like Clint Eastwood v Shabir Shaik.
Subsequently, every movie you saw was about the Good Guy Americans v the Evil Russians. Now it’s us, the Muslims. It’s almost like a balance-of-power soap opera, ‘the part of Boris will now be played by Osama”.
Are Muslims funny? If you are going to ask this question, you need to ask whether people are funny. The answer is, obviously, yes. Muslims are people — like everybody else.
Riaad Moosa’s Strictly Halaal shows at the Tesson Theatre in the Civic Theatre Complex, Braamfontein, from September 12 to 17. Call 011 877 6800 for more info. Book at Computicket