I’ve never been one to pay much attention to Valentine’s Day, but I’ve found myself wondering what the day might mean for our amorous president. Will he dole out roses and candy to all his sweethearts?All of whom, we are told, he loves “equally”. Where next will Cupid shoot his arrow? While I’m sure the Nkandla household is usually a hive of activity at this time of year, I suspect the only red he’ll be seeing this weekend is the anger of the nation. But deep down in his heart, I don’t think Jacob Zuma sees why we are furious at his sexcapades.
I do wish that people would refrain from writing or speaking about South Africa becoming a banana republic in relation to Zuma’s sexual indiscretions. It forces one’s already disturbed mental space to conjure up an unwelcome image that ought not to be part of the national discourse when it comes to our first citizen, let alone one’s imagination. Of the whole sorry saga, it is this bit that has caused me, as a journalist, the greatest offence. As a young black woman of fairly conservative stock, I now find myself forced to navigate the issue and interrogate people about the sexual affairs of a man who is old enough to be my father. By virtue of his actions, someone who should hold a powerful position of respect in society has reduced me to writing and talking about his loosened zip and, well, his banana.
Through his unseemly behaviour, Zuma has invited us, kicking and screaming, into his bedroom for a much too close and personal examination of the ostensibly private matters that take place there. Once he opened his bedroom door, he showed us his careless and irresponsible behaviour within those four walls. It being the second time that he has done this, is it any wonder the nation has recoiled at the shame and cringe-worthiness of it all?
Perhaps most disturbingly is what it has revealed about the president’s apparent pachydermatous nature and reasoning, judging by his initial response. In a statement from the presidency, an interminable and unsettling three days after the news broke, he is indignant and self-righteous. He chides the media for prying into his business, and berates us for undermining his right to dignity and that of the child and family concerned. He goes further to say he has done right by the family by paying inhlawulo.
Not once does he indicate that he feels any remorse for his actions, nor does he acknowledge that his extramarital affair is detrimental to the status and image of the office of the president. He doesn’t even begin to interrogate why people are angry, disappointed and even ashamed. We are left to assume that intrinsically and fundamentally he doesn’t think there is anything wrong with his behaviour and, as a result, doesn’t understand why the nation is disenchanted with him.
The facts that attest to this are before us when you look at his modus operandi. He impregnated his latter two wives and his fiancée out of wedlock. It is only after this that he begins the process of marriage and commitment. In the midst of all that, he had sex with Khwezi and now Sonono. It is something he understands to be perfectly normal. So while we as a nation have been engaged in lugubrious ruminations over this incident, Zuma doesn’t comprehend why we are offended — for him, it’s the way he has always conducted his affairs.
To his surprise though, South Africans have come out with a resounding NO. Although we in this country tend to be divided by several contentious issues such as race, class and culture, on this matter, we have been united. In a sense, we almost found our moral barometer as a nation.
Yes, one might say that he got around to apologising, but the delay is problematic. We are led to believe that it didn’t come about because of a sudden Damascene conversion, but rather because of pressure from ANC elders who took umbrage at his behaviour. Though he acknowledges having caused us pain, he fails to articulate why he thinks this is the case.
If we accept your apology, Mr Zuma, please heed this call and lead us. Practise what your own government’s HIV-prevention policies espouse. Over the next few years, please do not expose us to yet another discomfiting debacle where we as a nation are discussing your sex life. It is unbecoming of your stature in public life. It wounds us to see you become the object of ridicule brought about by your own lack of self-restraint. The “baby oil” days were traumatic and distasteful, but this latest saga has mortified us.