This week the Independent Democrats were calling for reforms after the Democratic Alliance fessed up to accepting large donations from Brett Kebble. Oom Krisjan sees a pattern emerging: when it transpires that Kebble gave the ID half a million bucks, the ACDP will call for reform, until it is revealed by the Freedom Front Plus that the ACDP got R2Â 000.
When Australian cricket commentator Dean Jones was fired for calling Hashim Amla a ”terrorist”, the manne were delighted. After all, if everyone went around indulging provocative and childish stereotypes, the Oom might be tempted to call Jones a livestock-romancing wife-beating string-vest-wearing racist bigot Australian yahoo from the arse end of nowhere whose gigantic mouth is writing cheques his tiny brain can’t cash.
Tucked away at the end of City Press‘s Sunday scoop on Cyril Ramaphosa entering the succession race, the line ”Additional reporting by Wikipedia” tweaked the Oom’s interest. A visit to Cyril’s entry turned up a curious final paragraph: ”Many people in South Africa, both prominent voices and ordinary citizens, view Ramaphosa as the next president of the country.”
In all the excitement and panic of preparing for the 2010 World Cup, Lemmer hopes a little paragraph in Fifa’s 2004 report doesn’t go unnoticed by South Africa’s transport engineers. According to the report that helped sway the voting, the country’s ”urban train network (subway and over ground) is also well frequented and popular in some cities”. Subways? Right, manne, start digging.
The manne would like to commend African National Congress Youth League president Fikile Mbalula for his latest online missive in which he exhorts us to ”double our efforts” in the fight against HIV and Aids. Not only would a doubling of the state’s efforts put a whole 200Â 000 people on anti-retroviral treatment, it would leave only 4,5-million infected people in the hands of Teutonic snake-oil salesmen and
Minister of Humours, Vapours and Sulphuric Unguents, Manto Tshabalala-Msimang, wants greater control over how foreign government funds are spent fighting HIV/Aids in South Africa. ”Our view is that external funding must be coordinated through government structures to achieve better outcomes,” she told news agencies this week.
Lemmer is pleased to report that the manne are no longer tittering prudishly over the South African Revenue Service web address as reported last week. However, in the interests of avoiding more scandalised uproar, Oom Krisjan has opted to remain tjoepstil about some other shockers, listed in the Independent’s ”Indipedia”.
Since London began enforcing its central congestion zone, motorists have been coughing up for the right to drive and park in the heart of town. But some motorists — those in bullet-proof Beemers — still think English law doesn’t apply to them. According to The Independent, among the worst repeat offenders in terms of not paying- congestion tariffs and fines are foreign embassies.
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/ 17 February 2006
Having confirmed her ambitions to be Dr Dolittle by wearing his hat to the opening of Parliament, Minister of Potions Dr Manto Tshabalala-Msimang now says people with Aids are welcome to try their luck with traditional healers. The manne are incensed that she should be passing the buck once again, but Lemmer disagrees.
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/ 9 December 2005
What do you do when you work in local government and you’ve been spending tax-payers’ money at the rate of R230Â 000 a day for four years without official authorisation? Option 1: You plead guilty, get a suspended sentence, and are back at work in six months. Option 2: You use the media to allege a media-fuelled conspiracy against you.