Krisjan Lemmer
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/ 22 August 2002

A very foreign affair

The World Summit on Sustainable Development is the biggest thing to hit Jozi since the Jameson Raid — considering Krugersdorp and Sandton are about equidistant from the city centre — and next week’s shindig has driven the citizenry even crazier than usual.

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/ 15 August 2002

Too much hooligan juice

This has been a depressing week for sports fans at the Dorsbult. Firstly that fat fool Pieter van Zyl runs on to the field and flattens the ref. Then Rian Oberholzer compounds the matter by saying: ”This assault perpetuates the image of the boorish, boerewors-eating, brandy-drinking supporter…”

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/ 1 August 2002

Cock it, Snookums

The boys at the bar could not help chuckling at former SABC news head Snuki ”Moyo” Zikalala’s article on the Mail & Guardian in the Sowetan this week. Moyo wrote the article, he assures us, ”in his personal capacity as a journalist”. This is a very flattering self-assessment.

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/ 26 July 2002

Let’s do the time warp

Lemmer wonders, sometimes, if there aren’t a few local academics who look back wistfully to the halcyon days of the Eighties, when students were forever protesting, boycotting lectures and generally taking the spotlight away from the shenanigans of the staff.

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/ 27 June 2002

A bed under every Red

Oom Krisjan has noticed that those who kept the red flag flying here have been rather quiet of late. In fact, there’s been a suspicion that they’ve all turned into creditcard-carrying communists, what with central committee member Jeff Radebe being in the vanguard of the privatisation.

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/ 13 June 2002

Off with their heads

Being a king is a tough task and you can’t even quit. A quick glance through history shows there are some awful ways to lose your job — most often by losing your head. But in the olden days no one questioned what you wanted to do.

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/ 6 June 2002

Cocking a Snuki

The news that Snuki Zikalala is leaving the SABC for pastures new was greeted with much regret in the Dorsbult. We regulars have missed his enthusiastic mangling of all the official languages since the former labour reporter was kicked upstairs to become an executive editor…