The Gospel According to Saint MoMo

Thursday.

December — and a long-awaited breather after a beast of a year and a monster of a November — is finally upon us. 

So, it appears, is the fourth wave of the Covid-19 pandemic, if the daily doubling of the number of new infections in our fair republic over the past week is anything to go by. 

With 8 000-plus new cases overnight, it appears that we have a lot more than travel bans to the UK and Guatemala and cancelled rage parties to worry about in the coming weeks.

The travel ban to Europe is a bit of a joke; not only because a fair number of European countries had discovered the Omicron variant before we did but simply kept quiet about it and acted dumb.

Nobody was talking about travel bans in 1820 — or in 1652 for that matter — so why all of a sudden now?

It certainly would have been better for the people living here if there had been travel bans back in the day. Way less slavery, syphilis and smallpox; not to mention looting, plunder, rape and murder in the name of some inbred European “royal family”.

Travel bans.

Despite the upturn in cases, the president isn’t likely to go into full lock-it-down mode and stop us from buying flip-flops and roast chickens at the next family meeting. 

Cyril Ramaphosa can’t afford that — and neither can the rest of us — but it’s also hard to imagine him allowing us to crack on, unvaccinated and with no adult supervision, throughout the festive.

Not the Christmas present one had hoped for, but an unsurprising one, given the refusal of so many of my fellow South Africans to get over themselves and get vaccinated against the virus.

I had believed — naively it appears — that once we had the vaccine the citizens of the republic would do the right thing and take it, rather than join the anti-vaxxer brigade and extend the life of the pandemic, kicking off the fourth wave.

Pity that, but it’s where we’re at.

Whatever comes next is on those among us who won’t take the vaccine; in particular the alleged leaders who have used their access and influence to spread their 666-Bill Gates- New World Order-5G drivel, rather than doing their bit to help us get through this catastrophe.

Thanks.

That said, I understand former chief justice Mogoeng Mogoeng’s stance against vaccination.

MoMo needs issues around which to mobilise supporters for his impending bid for the presidency in 2024 — beyond Casting Jezebel into the Pit and introducing Speaking in Tongues as Language 12 — so why not unvaccinate the vaccinated? 

MoMo is going to need somebody to vote for him, beyond the bog-standard Christian fundamentalist element, if he hopes to become number one, so who is more likely to fall for his particular brand of flimflam than the anti-vaxxers? 

MoMo already claims he can cure HIV, so removing the 666 vaccine from the veins of the immunised should be no sweat for our man.

A dawdle.

A walk in the park.

But only after they make MoMo president.

The increase in infections must be a relief for the Take It Or Leave It brigade, who blew their rent money last weekend to stock up on alcohol for resale in expectation of Ramaphosa closing us down at the last family meeting.

They must have felt that their prayers were being answered when the figures started climbing on Monday and they realised that they might have to keep ducking the landlord only for another week or so, and not until next payday.

I honestly don’t get all this “thou shalt not vaccinate” nonsense.

I went to Sunday School. 

The Bible we read there didn’t say “Get thee behind me, vaccine!” or “Let he who is without vaccine, cast the first stone”, or anything along those lines.

The first part did have a fair bit of bashing and skulduggery, but nothing about not getting vaccinated.

The second part too. 

Lots of stuff about loving thine neighbours; feeding the five thousand and turning water into wine; Romans Go Home and work stoppages; nothing about being a selfish bastard and giving one’s fellow man — or woman — the plague.

Perhaps I read the wrong Bible.

Perhaps the anti-vaxxers have their own version, in which Jesus chased not the money lenders and Pharisees, but the vaccinators; whipped the scientists; overturned the facts?

The Gospel According to Saint Momo.

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Paddy Harper
Paddy Harper
Storyteller.

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