Industrial pipes release gray dirty smoke into the sky, air and environmental pollution, environmental problems. Toxic emissions. Photo: Getty Images
Admittedly there was much not to love in 2022. The global economy went into a gradual state of total collapse. After apparently spending the whole lockdown shut in a bunker taking amphetamines, snorting Viagra and reading picture books designed for children and members of the Russian Orthodox clergy about Peter the Great, the president of Russia started a war.
Then there was the whole unfortunate business of Liz Truss accidentally dropping the UK economy in the toilet while reaching for a germ-infested book of Giles cartoons and/or a copy of An Idiot’s Guide to Being an Idiot.
Other sub-optimal events include things like Elon Musk; the US insurrection; inflation; fuel; Bill Cosby’s release and upcoming world tour; climate change; unspeakable cruelty in Iran; the collapse of the power grid; plastic pollution and the new Avatar movie.
Götterdämmerung. End of Days. The horned beast slouching towards Kiev via Benjamin Netanyahu’s office.
But there is real reason to believe that things are looking up for 2023 and that, while God may have been distracted during 2022 (adult ADHD is real, people), 2023 might be better. Much better.
It involves Andrew Tate. For those fortunate enough not to know of him, Tate is an ex-kickboxer and reality TV actor. He is also a “self-described misogynist”, which is a bit odd because “misogynist” is normally an insult thrown by other people — it’s a bit like being a “self-described dickhead” — and is wanted by authorities for a) sex trafficking b) rape c) having a shaven head and wearing his sunglasses on top of it in the style beloved by aspiring pimps/wannabe arms dealers/ trainee bodyguards who watch Jersey Shore and live with their domineering, menthol-smoking, divorced mothers.
Anyway, the unlovely Mr Tate got into an argument on Twitter (fellow digital bro Elon let him back onto the platform) with Greta Thunberg after trolling her for no reason. Her reply was biting and involved suggestions about the smallness of his genitalia.
Now, instead of being happy at getting into a public argument with someone much much better known than himself (which is a genuine PR achievement), Tate got so angry (touched a nerve did we?) that he posted a video reply.
This rant happened to show a pizza box. Which happened to show Romanian authorities that he was in Bucharest. Which happened to enable them to arrest him on human trafficking charges.
Sometimes (although admittedly not all of the time) the world is a wonderful place. For which we must show gratitude. Namaste.
The views expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Mail & Guardian.