Special Reports

The Mangaung speech that never was

We have managed to acquire a recording of a speech made by Deputy Commissar for Deputised Commissars of South-Western Free State, made at Mangaung.

Mysogynists blame women

South Africa's misogynists have blamed women for their misogyny, saying that if chicks weren't so kak, they wouldn't hate them so much.

Africa confirmed as easiest continent to draw from memory

A 13-year study funded by the World Bank has concluded that Africa is the easiest continent to get "sort of right" from memory.

The City Round-up

Cavendish Square in Claremont is the greatest mall in the history of the world because Cousin Harry said that Cavendish Square is amazing

Japanese banks full of saved face

Japan's banks revealed that, after decades of saving by citizens, the country's vaults and safety deposit boxes have been entirely filled with face.

Nigerian prince disillusioned by hostile internet

Prince Pianola Andabanjo is offering $1-million to any person who will send him their bank details to help him to unfreeze the funds owed to him.

Iran captures US drone Walter Kowalksi (62)

Iran's Revolutionary Truth Brigade Media Agency confirmed on Tuesday that the Islamic republic has captured another American drone.

Nothing happens in Canada for 77th straight year

The Canadian government has confirmed the country's 28105th day without an incident of any kind.

Unexploded WWII cliche forces Berlin evacuation

Thousands have had to flee their homes in the midst of recurring narrative mediocrity

Malawi’s men to shake off ‘nice guy’ image

Malawian men say they are tired of being known as friendly, reliable, honest, hardworking, thrifty, family-oriented and articulate.

Europe ‘a crouton away from barbarism’

Europeans are being faced with hardship unprecedented since the Pan-European Croissant Shortage of the third weekend of June 2006.

Earliest fossilised weave unearthed in Kenya

Archaeologists say they have been forced to revisit a hundred years of paleo-hairdressing theory, after finding a fossilised hair weave.

SA not gateway to Africa, but can solicit backdoor action

The Ministry of Trade and Industry has discovered South Africa "pretty much as far from every country on the planet as you can possibly get".

Botswana to market itself as a ‘not uninteresting’ destination

Botswana's tourism ministry has confirmed that it will update and rebrand the country as an international destinatio

Medal makers mourn era of African tyrants

Paris's exclusive designers of military berets and medals say they are being forced out of business by the gradual spread of democracy in Africa.

Feefa moves to Brown People Alert Level Two

Sporting body Feefa has raised its World Cup preparedness alert status to its highest level yet.

Not the M&G: Letter from the president

Thinking for yourselves can cause a variety of injuries, which is why this administration strongly discourages critical thinking in all its forms.

M-Net shows its caring side

M-Net not only creates magic on screen --- it also brings about important change behind the scenes with several M-Net Cares initiatives