Graphic: John McCann/M&G
At a recent gathering of educational leaders from around the world at the G30 Heads Conference in Australia and New Zealand, a troubling pattern emerged. School heads from different continents, serving diverse communities, were reporting remarkably similar problems: parents who were increasingly viewing education as a transaction rather than a relationship, teachers feeling under siege, and students who seemed less equipped to handle adversity than previous generations.
This isn’t a story about “difficult parents” or “failing schools”. It’s about a fundamental shift in how we’re raising and educating our children, one that may be inadvertently undermining the very qualities we most want to develop.
The statistics are sobering. In South Africa, nearly half of all teachers are set to retire within the next decade. Similar teacher shortages are emerging globally, from Australia to the United Kingdom and the United States. A groundbreaking Australian study led by Professor Robyn Brandenburg sheds new light on the growing crisis of teacher attrition, calling for urgent systemic reform to better attract, support and retain teachers. Uniquely, this research examined the perspectives of both former classroom teachers and school leaders, revealing a complex range of reasons for their departure. Key factors included the intensification of workload, the growing lack of respect for the teaching profession and the failure to acknowledge teachers’ professional skills and expertise.
Notably, many participants expressed a deep love for teaching —some even referring to it as “the best profession in the world” — yet still felt compelled to leave. Importantly, the study found that a significant proportion of those who left the profession (20%) had seven to 10 years of experience. These findings highlight a deeper and more persistent crisis: experienced, highly capable teachers are exiting the profession, which has serious implications for student learning, school culture, succession planning and the sustainability of the education workforce. Brandenburg warns that their departure threatens to create a leadership vacuum in Australia, because these mid-career educators are typically the next generation of school leaders.
Although many factors contribute to this crisis, one often-overlooked element is the changing nature of the parent-school relationship. Brandenburg’s research underscores the need for a cultural shift that values, empowers and retains the skilled professionals at the heart of education.
Educational leaders worldwide report a marked increase in what researchers call “confrontational engagement”. Parents are bypassing established communication channels, escalating concerns prematurely and, in some cases, adopting adversarial and threatening rather than collaborative approaches. This shift, most pronounced since the Covid-19 pandemic, has created an environment where teachers increasingly feel exposed and vulnerable to public criticism and personal attack.
Andre Oosthuysen, the executive headmaster at St Benedict’s College in Johannesburg, captures this shift in his recent newsletter, “What happened to teachers’ rights?” He reflects on the erosion of mutual trust between schools and parents, describing how teachers, once highly respected professionals, are increasingly seen as “soft targets” for broader societal frustrations.
While acknowledging that the vast majority of parents remain supportive and respectful, Ooshuysen notes that a growing minority resort to threats, legal action and social media shaming rather than open dialogue. This behaviour doesn’t only affect teacher morale; it diverts attention from teaching, learning and the vital work of mentoring students through complex problems. The result is a profession struggling to affirm, attract and retain the passionate professionals our children need.
Perhaps more concerning is what this shift means for student development. We are observing a growing trend of parents intervening in academic difficulties. When assignments feel overwhelming, when expectations seem uncomfortable, or when natural consequences loom, many parents feel compelled to step in and rescue their child.
The instinct is understandable. We want to shield our children from unnecessary stress and difficulty. But research in developmental psychology suggests that we may be creating what experts call “the resilience paradox”. In trying to protect our children from struggle, we are preventing them from building the very skills, competencies and abilities they need to handle life’s inevitable problems.
Students who experience “productive struggle” and are allowed to grapple with difficult situations, with appropriate scaffolded support, develop resilience, problem-solving skills and what researchers call “grit”: the ability to persevere, grow and gain personal competence through difficulty and achieve long-term goals. But when children are rescued too quickly from everyday school struggles, accountability and even disappointments, we inadvertently hinder their development and prevent them from developing these crucial qualities and the confidence that comes from overcoming obstacles.
Today’s students have access to more external support than any previous generation. They have tutors, artificial intelligence tools, online resources and often direct parental assistance with homework and projects. Although these resources can be valuable supplements to learning, they risk becoming substitutes for the deep thinking, learning and character development that come from independent work. When students become overly reliant on this supplementary support, they miss opportunities to grapple with complex concepts they are taught in lessons and, more troubling, often experience heightened anxiety when faced with independent demands such as examinations, where that supplementary help is unavailable.
An essential part of any educational journey is the gradual development of self-competence, an independent work ethic, personal discipline and accountability. These are not innate traits, but learned habits; muscles strengthened through consistent effort, practice and wrestling with appropriate issues. At school, we refer to these habits of excellence as the foundation for self-mastery and achievement, both academically and personally.
Students who internalise these habits of excellence don’t just thrive at school, they carry these skills into university and their professional lives. Professor David Perkins, of the Harvard Graduate School of Education, calls these skills “flexpertise” — the skill sets taught in subjects that proactively transfer and illuminate knowledge and abilities beyond one subject into other disciplines and life contexts. When we intervene too quickly, when we smooth every path and remove every obstacle, we rob our children of this essential learning and journey.
The solution is not to abandon support or return to sink-or-swim approaches. Instead, we need to reframe our understanding of what true support looks like, built on mutual respect, clear communication channels and a shared commitment to a child’s growth.
This means parents trusting teachers’ professional judgment while schools maintain transparency about their approaches. When concerns arise, families should communicate constructively through established pathways rather than public forums, modelling the dialogue and respect we hope our students will carry into their own lives. Schools, for their part, must remain open to addressing issues while protecting their staff from inappropriate criticism. Most importantly, it means recognising that genuine support sometimes looks like stepping back and allowing children to grapple with their independence and learning.
The quality of education depends not only on the curriculum or facilities a school offers, but on the critical relationships that support learning. This has been the foundation stone of top independent schools for centuries. When the partnership between home and school breaks down, everyone suffers, most of all our children.
We must remember that parents and teachers are human. Both will stumble and make mistakes, just as children will. But we can meet those moments with grace, perspective and mutual trust rather than blame, shame and confrontation.
We must be intentional about nurturing and protecting the vital partnerships between parents and schools. They are the cornerstone of the lifelong learning we seek for our students. Only by working together, affirming our mutual respect and trusting the educational journey, can we ensure that the next generation develops not only academic knowledge and personal mastery, but the essential resilience, flexpertise and strength of character they will need to thrive in an uncertain world.
Stuart West is the executive headmaster of St John’s College, Johannesburg