At the end of each academic year in the US, the tradition is that high schools, colleges and universities invite someone to give a commencement speech. In South Africa, this is typically referred to as a valedictory ceremony.
In May 1997, Mary Schmich, a columnist for the Chicago Tribune, wrote a fake commencement speech believing everyone had a dream that your old school or university would invite you back to give one and impart upon students the wisdom that comes with age.
Schmid’s fake commencement speech appeared in the Chicago Tribune under the title Advice, Like Youth, Probably Just Wasted on the Young. Inspired by seeing a young person lying in the sun, the central and recurring theme was that you should always wear sunscreen. Before long, the speech was circulating around the world as a commencement address supposedly delivered at MIT. It wasn't.
Then Australian film director and composer Baz Luhrmann turned Schmich's words into a musical monologue titled Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen), and a commencement speech that was never delivered became more famous for reaching the Billboard top 100 in the US.
2026 is particularly poignant for me as my daughter will complete matric this year. In a similar dream that at least one of my alma mater would one day invite me back to give a commencement speech, I, too, have been quietly developing a commencement speech for some time.
Here is the commencement speech I would give to the class of 2026. In an increasingly narcissistic and self-centred world, I have titled it: Just don't be a dick.
TO CLASS OF 2026:
You will be successful. And you will fail.
Probably at both, repeatedly.
When you succeed, enjoy it. You worked for it. Be proud of it.
But … Just don't be a dick.
Don't start believing that success means you are inherently cleverer than everybody else. Don't rewrite history so that every lucky break becomes evidence of your brilliance. Don't forget the people who opened doors for you. And don't make other people's failures the backdrop against which you display your success.
And when you fail, remember that failure isn't a licence to become bitter.
Don't blame everyone else. Don't begrudge the person who succeeded where you didn't. Don't turn disappointment into cruelty.
You will have a career.
You will be told to find your passion, build your personal brand, network, innovate, disrupt and become the best version of yourself.
Do some of that. Ignore some of it.
Work hard. Take pride in what you do.
But … Just don't be a dick.
Don't confuse your job title with your value as a human being. Don't confuse somebody else's job title with theirs either.
The receptionist is not less important as a person because you are meeting the CEO.
The waiter isn't your servant.
The cleaner isn't invisible.
And the junior employee who made a mistake is probably already terrified before you start shouting.
How you treat people who you think can do nothing for you says far more about you than how you treat people who can.
One day you may have power.
You may run a business, lead a team, become a partner, a principal, a professor, a parent.
Power is useful. Sometimes you need it to get things done.
But … Just don't be a dick.
Don't use power simply because you have it.
Don't humiliate somebody in front of others because you can.
Don't confuse fear with respect.
Don't surround yourself with people who agree with everything you say.
And remember that the more powerful you become, the fewer people will tell you when you're behaving badly.
If everybody in the room thinks you are brilliant, there is a reasonable possibility you have assembled the wrong room.
You will be wrong.
You will be absolutely, completely, passionately certain about something.
And you may be wrong.
But … Just don't be a dick.
Don't keep arguing after you know you've lost the argument.
Don't quietly change your position and pretend that was what you believed all along.
Don't regard changing your mind as weakness.
And when you have hurt somebody, say: "I'm sorry. I was wrong."
Learn those words early. They become strangely difficult to pronounce as people become older, richer and more important.
You will fall in love.
Hopefully more than once in the broader sense and perhaps once in the way that really matters.
Love somebody. Let somebody love you.
Take the risk.
But … Just don't be a dick.
Don't play games because somebody told you that appearing unavailable makes you desirable.
Don't use affection as leverage.
Don't betray somebody and then explain that somehow they caused you to do it.
And when you know a relationship is over, have the courage to say so.
You will have friends.
Some will be with you for a season. A handful may be with you for life.
Look after them.
But … Just don't be a dick.
Don't disappear when they are struggling and reappear when things are fun again.
Don't compete with your friends.
When something wonderful happens to them, celebrate it.
Their success has not diminished yours.
And when your friend is making a spectacular mistake, tell them, kindly.
You will make money.
I hope you do.
Money gives you choices. It can buy security, experiences and opportunities. It can make life considerably easier.
But … Just don't be a dick.
Don't let the amount of money somebody has determine how much respect you give them.
Don't become the person who tells everyone what everything cost.
Don't allow possessions to become evidence that you matter.
And if you are fortunate enough to have more than you need, occasionally use some of it to make somebody else's life easier. Preferably without telling everybody you did.
You will encounter people who disagree with you.
Good.
Some of them will even be right.
Listen.
But … Just don't be a dick.
Don't assume that someone who disagrees with you is stupid, evil or morally defective.
Don't allow social media to persuade you that contempt is an argument.
Don't say online what you would never have the courage to say to somebody sitting across a table from you.
And don't confuse being offended with being harmed.
You can disagree strongly without dehumanising the person on the other side.
You will discover that almost everyone is improvising.
Your parents were improvising.
Your teachers are improvising.
Your boss will be improvising.
The chief executive is improvising.
The government is most certainly improvising.
But … Just don't be a dick.
Don't pretend you know something when you don't.
Say: "I don't know."
Ask the stupid question. You will often discover that half the room wanted to ask it too.
Intelligence isn't knowing everything. And pretending to know everything doesn't make you intelligent.
You will become busy.
Very busy.
There will always be another email, another meeting, another deadline, another deal, another problem that apparently cannot survive until tomorrow. Most of them can.
But … Just don't be a dick.
Don't give the people you love whatever remains of you after everybody else has had the best parts.
Don't spend your children's childhood staring at your phone.
Don't repeatedly tell somebody: "We'll do it next year." There are only so many next years.
Eventually you discover that some of the things you regarded as interruptions to your life were your life: the school concert, the phone call from your mother, coffee with an old friend, the bedtime story when you had work to finish.
Your parents will irritate you.
This is inevitable. You will irritate them too.
At 18, you will wonder how people so hopelessly out of touch with the modern world have managed to survive for so long without your guidance.
But … Just don't be a dick.
Answer the phone.
Explain the technology again, without making them feel foolish for asking.
One day, the calls you once found inconvenient may be the calls you would give almost anything to receive again.
You will get older.
This, despite your current evidence to the contrary, will happen remarkably quickly.
At 18, 60 sounds ancient.
At 60, it feels suspiciously like 18 with a bad back and more passwords.
You will discover that ageing is mostly the gradual accumulation of perspective.
Things that once seemed enormously important become trivial.
Things you barely noticed become precious.
You become less interested in impressing rooms full of people and more interested in having a handful of interesting people around your dinner table.
But…Just don't be a dick.
Don't become one of those older people who believes the world reached its cultural and intellectual peak when they were 25.
Don't tell young people that everything was better in your day. It wasn't.
Some things were better.
Some things were considerably worse.
And don't resent the young because their turn has arrived. You had yours.
Help them with theirs.
Finally, you will make mistakes.
You will break nearly every piece of advice I have just given you.
I certainly have.
But … Just don't be a dick.
Apologise.
Make amends if you can.
Learn something.
Then try to be slightly less of one tomorrow.
Finally, also don’t forget to wear sunscreen
Shaun Read is the founder of Read Advisory Services