/ 14 January 2021

No early jab for this wit ou

Sifiso Mngadi
Conspiracy theorist: ANC councillor Sifiso Mngadi says that there is no such thing as Covid-19, yet he also alleges that white people are preferentially receiving vaccines against the disease. (Delwyn Verasamy/M&G)


Impending old age, the insane overnight Durban humidity and the hadedas resident in the school across the road mean the day kicked off around 4am, with plenty of time for a lengthy morning ponder before getting stuck in for the day. 

Fair enough. 

There’s another day of life to be lived. That’s more than enough reason to be awake and moving long before the sun. 

Better men and women than myself have been deprived of that privilege since this nightmare started. 

More will before it’s all over. 

Rather crack on, while it’s still possible.

It’s day 294 of the Covid-19 lockdown. 

It’s been nearly 300 days since president Cyril Ramaphosa closed the country for the first time. Almost a whole year since the first family meeting, the inaugural #RatherStayPozi.

My money is on at least another 300 days of living life between level three and level one — perhaps even 600 days — before enough of us get vaccinated for some level of collective immunity to take hold. The massive increase in infections in the second wave and the delay in getting cracking with a nationwide vaccination programme means another 18 months to two years of masking, handwashing and staying in the pozi. 

Of people dying.

It’s time to get ourselves — and our heads — ready for the long haul. Accept that this is how it’s going to be for the foreseeable future. Face the reality that we need to do what needs to be done to stay alive, which, right now, is the important thing.

The only thing.

Wash hands.

Keep distance.

Wear mask.

Stay alive. 

For now, a further month and a bit under level three of the lockdown regulations lies ahead, courtesy of the head of state’s more-of-the-same at Monday night’s family meeting. 

Ramaphosa didn’t have that much to say, beyond stay at home if you can and wait for the vaccine. Wash your hands, wear a mask and try not get the virus, until we can get the vaccine into your arms.

What else could our president say to us? 

The presidential calling out of the antivaxing, 5G, 666 brigade and their microchipped serum drivel was long overdue. Too many muppets with too much time on their hands and too much data have been having a field day at the expense of our health — mental and physical — for far too long. Too many public officials have been allowed to abuse the platforms provided by their office — unchecked — for too long. 

5G towers are being vandalised around Durban. Hopefully, it’s only organised crime hitting a new soft target, and not people listening to Durban ANC councillor Sifiso Mngadi.

Mngadi, the voters’ choice for ward 24, reckons there is no Covid-19. 5G towers, Mngadi says, are killing people. Mngadi also claims that wit ous are already getting vaccinated against the virus, which he says doesn’t exist. 

According to Madlokovu, the vaccine was delivered in boxes in white trucks to the Pavillion shopping centre to these white people, who apparently came from as far as Vryheid to get their vaccine.

We are, indeed, led.

I was appalled by the footage of Mngadi’s speech. 

And the thought of missing out on an early run at the vaccine. Within seconds I was out the door and heading for Pava, as it’s known, to see if they were still there, or if they’d left any for me.

I was disappointed when I arrived.

No wit ous, except me.

No 5G masts.

No white trucks. 

No vaccine. 

I’ll have to wait for my shot.

Perhaps Mngadi or Chief Justice Mogoeng Mogoeng will give me their vaccine — they should be ahead of me in the queue. 

That would be kind of them.

Perhaps I can blag a slot as an influencer for the state’s vaccine campaign. Taking a shot of free vaccine on national TV rather than waiting a year for it sounds pretty fair. 

I wonder if Mngadi watched Wednesday night’s vote in the United States House of Representatives to impeach Donald Trump for the second time. 

He should have. 

Like Trump, Mngadi has abused public office and spewed lies and conspiracy theories.

The debate and the vote to declare what was once the world’s most powerful man permanently unfit for office was pretty captivating. Not quite as gripping as last week’s attempted coup that the orange one incited, but top viewing, nonetheless.

The storming of the Capitol was wild, but, to be honest, a logical conclusion of Trump’s America First policy. In a year with heavy Covid-19 travel restrictions, it must have made sense, inside Trump’s orange cavern, to try stage a January coup at home, rather than in some shithole abroad. Overthrow his own government, ahead of some other poor bastard’s.

Coup America First. 

Trump has to account for his lies. 

People have died because of them, and not just last Wednesday. 

America enabled Trump. And his mouth.

It now needs to deal with him.