Seven women are killed in the country each day and nearly six in 10 of such murders are at the hand of an intimate partner
The 16 Days of Activism for No Violence against Women and Children Campaign is over and people are ready to jump into the festive season and forget about the issue as they revel in some well-deserved rest and relaxation. The activism has ended for many, but the pain will only intensify for thousands of women as the “festive” season gets going.
Gender-based violence (GBV) numbers spike during the holidays. Last year, the non-profit organisation Tears Foundation, which runs a 24/7 victim hotline, received around 43 000 calls from GBV victims over the festive season alone. That’s 43 000 women who had the courage to reach out for help.
What about the ones who don’t reach out? What about the women who are so fearful of their partner and circumstances that they wouldn’t dare voice that they are victims of abuse?
These are the women who are likely to spiral into an abyss of depression and mental degradation before the day their partner goes too far and their life is extinguished before any of their friends and family knew how bad it really was.
According to statistics by the South African Police Service, 988 women were killed in domestic violence in South Africa between April 2020 and September 2022. Statistics South Africa says that nearly 50% of GBV assaults are committed by someone close to the victim and 15% of these are committed by a spouse or intimate partner.
Data from the Afrocentric Group, which administers the medical aid claims for almost four million South Africans, show an increasing trend for mental health conditions like depression. Mental illness can give rise to GBV and the associated trauma can also trigger an acute or chronic experience of psychological strain.
What the data also suggests is that the true prevalence of depression may actually be double that previously thought. Even more worrying is that almost half of this population requires hospitalisation. This reality, combined with increasing socio-economic pressures, all contribute to the escalating situation in our country.
Although physical abuse is the tell-tale sign of GBV, the abuser doesn’t always leave a black eye or a bruise in plain sight. Sometimes, the victim is very ashamed, feels responsible or is even convinced that nothing is wrong and she will then do everything in her power to hide the signs.
It is important that friends and loved ones of GBV victims watch out for the signs that their daughter, sister or friend is being abused beyond the physical.
Sometimes, when the victim’s personality changes and she seems a bit off, it could be that there is a sign of a much deeper issue. These could include:
- Cutting ties and isolating themselves
- Increased claims that things are too private to share
- Last-minute cancellations to social events
- Lack of control of her own money and spending
- A general increase in quietness and reservedness; often lost in their own thoughts
- A sudden increase in anxiety and fear, or flinching when touched
Of course, there are some general signs that someone you love is sinking into depression, which is likely to happen when the abuse they are experiencing is emotional. Be on the lookout for:
- Sudden bouts of depression and anxiety
- Self-medication with alcohol or drugs
- Increased exhaustion and fatigue
- Suicidal tendencies
While these are general signs of depression, it is important to understand who their partner is and how you have seen them interact. You would rather be wrong about it and say something than stay silent and let the situation get worse.
Don’t let a woman’s cry for help fall on deaf ears, as she may be the next to be hospitalised, or worse, be another statistic in the tragic reality of GBV in South Africa. We need 365 days of activism if we are going to end this scourge. And it starts with those who are closest to you. Look out for the signs and offer your support.
Aimée Wesso-Roberts is the functional head of lifestyle & wellness management at Medscheme
The views expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Mail & Guardian.