GOLF: Neil Manthorp
MORAL outrage and righteous indignation so often accompany our very own Million Dollar Challenge at Sun City every year that we ought to be used to it by now.
The trouble is, immediately after the gluttonous mountain of cash in the impoverished former Bophuthatswana, we then have to try and swallow the only larger cash mountain in world golf — and Jamaica makes Bop look positively first world.
It sticks in the throat like stubborn traces of bile for many people but I’m no table thumping socialist do-gooder and since the kind sponsors have paid for (most of) my trip I will cast off the blinkers and take a fresh look at Johnnie Walker’s World Championship of golf this weekend.
Twenty-four of the world’s elite will contest a purse of $2.7-million. The winner will receive over half a million. Of course if it wasn’t for our own yearly jamboree at Sun City that might sound like a lot of money for four days work …
United Distillers (who own the Johnnie Walker label) are also paying for something like 600 guests from all over the world to attend the tournament and have the holiday of a lifetime. The party that left Cape Town on Monday night numbered 17, each of whom cost Distillers R30 000 for flights, accommodation and general bonhomie. (Journalists had to pay a fifth of that themselves.)
But it gets better. Who are these 600 chosen people? Fat cat, executive marketing managers and board members? Well, some, yes. But also independent, hard-working men like Alf who owed his place on the flight to Montego Bay to long hours spent behind the till of a liquor store .
Alf runs his own bottlestore and, like all the rest of South Africa’s proprietors, he is set an annual sales target by United Distillers. Those who exceed their target by the highest percentage are rewarded with a dream ticket to Tyroll. Both Alf’s eyes twinkled when I expressed incredulity at him surpassing his target by 2 400 percent, but from the stature of the man I suspect he may well have contributed significantly to his own sales figures. But I digress …
My point is this. Who can object to so few players competing for so much money when at least as much is being spent on ”ordinary” people to enjoy the same luxury while watching the action? And by the way, what do the top 24 engineers, musicians or surgeons in the world earn?
The problem with most sports as you climb the ladder is the sickly aloofness that separates the competitors from the real world. Whereas I would never be ridiculous enough to pretend that Johnnie Walker week in Jamaica resembles the real world in any way, I would say that — well, Alf summed it up perfectly. ”At least these guys are honest … lekker okes.”
On to the golf. Nothing can be read into the players’ pre- tournament behaviour because beach shorts, flip flops and smiles are ”de rigueur”. Although, if you want to know, Ernie’s shorts are amongst the loudest and his smile amongst the widest.
Els flew to Jamaica in fine spirits, and if anyone doubts that the man is ”still the same old Ernie” they may be chuffed to hear that his travelling companion (in the absence of long time girlfriend Liezel, who is on holiday) is his mum, Hettie.
Also among the favourites is world number one Nick Price, who has for the first time forsaken his precious Lake Kariba tiger fishing holiday in order to compete. Since massive dollops of appearance money don’t really mean much to Price he presumably means business .
Nick Faldo can be discounted as a contender quite simply becase no-one, surely, could have the gall to win $1 550 000 in back to back tournaments.
Quite honestly because of the degree of fatigue at this time of year and the particularly demanding narrow fairways on the course, anyone in the field could win. But I would be grateful if someone could pop down to their local TAB and put R10 on David Frost for me … Just in case Ernie and Nicky slip up.
But then as Alf said: ”I work hard all year so I can come to Jamaica. If I don’t I go to the Vaal dam. If they work hard for four days they take half a million dollars. If it’s not so good they come last with $50 000. but still I’m happy.” Can’t argue with that logic.