Rehana Rossouw
BRIAN is a Cape Town engineer now attending counselling sessions, who said he physically and sexually abused his wife because he wanted to control her and because he could.
His wife Lynne, the owner of a successful restaurant in Cape Town, tried to leave him at least 18 times during their six-year marriage before she succeeded, but left the marriage financially destitute.
Brian’s abuse became increasingly sadistic.
One evening he drugged Lynne, placed his gun in her hand while she lay in a stupor on their bed, and told the police that his wife was trying to kill him. Lynne was not arrested, but the seeds were planted at the police station that she was the
In counselling Brian explained that he abused Lynne because he wanted to control her — her body, mind, bank account, everything. He described himself as “self absorbed”, particularly in sexual
He believed other men would admire his control over a wealthy, attractive, assertive woman.
Yet he would erupt into jealous rages if he suspected Lynne was attracting admiration from other men.
He said he became addicted to his sexual power over Lynne, and there was no limit to degradation he could make her submit to. The more she submitted, the more submission he wanted.
Near the completion of his counselling, Brian acknowledged that the root cause of his behaviour was insecurity. He had little control over his own life and responded by attempting to control his