Andrew Worsdale
Like most South African parents, I didn’t=20 watch television as a kid. The first movie=20 I saw was Swiss Family Robinson, at the=20 Johannesburg drive-in. I slept through most=20 of it but remember to this day waking up,=20 seeing a huge, slithery anaconda, bursting=20 into tears and deciding it was safer to=20 fall back into slumber.=20
My first TV experience was in 1968, when my=20 grandmother took the family on a Flame Lily=20 tour to then Rhodesia. The first set I saw=20 was small and black and white. I watched an=20 episode of The Avengers, where programmed=20 KGB agents were assassinated simply when=20 the name “Boris” was pronounced.=20
That terrified me, so I was more than happy=20 to wait until 1976 before being subjected=20 to the tube again. We would huddle with all=20 the neighbours’ kids in front of Carol=20 Burnett and The World at War or were forced=20 by papa to watch Civilization, which bored=20 me senseless.
Twenty years later, I’m a parent and like=20 most moms and dads I am acutely aware of=20 the crap on telly that is dished out for=20 the kids. Even though my laaitie is only=20 seven months old and crawls up to the set=20 and bangs Jessica Fletcher’s or Mike=20 Mills’s face, he isn’t quite up to=20 developing a liking for any particular=20 show.=20
My greatest fear, though, is that soon=20 he’ll be screaming around the house singing=20 “tantantatantan … kideo … kideo …=20 kideo!” and will want all of Mister=20 Chinwag’s merchandise.=20
That show is an example of bad kiddies=20 programming – patronising and=20 condescending, it literally treats kids=20 like imbeciles. In fact it’s stupid adults=20 who make complicatedly na=8Bve things for=20 kids in the misguided belief they’re=20 educating them. In fact, they’re just=20 making these imbecilic shows for the cash.=20 You always knew that, didn’t you?=20
What really irks me about locally made=20 kiddies shows is their innate campness. Why=20 does every donkey or fuzzy bear have to be=20 so annoyingly fey? At least in Sesame=20 Street we have legitimate monsters or big=20 birds that have distinctive voices suitable=20 to their characters; they don’t feel like=20 jaded pantomime performers who do=20 children’s theatre because they’ve=20 forgotten how to act or come up with any=20 new ideas. in South Africa, if you get a=20 kiddies acting gig, go for it – you can=20 always blame the producers.=20
In my humble fatherly opinion, the best=20 local kiddies’ shows are the blatantly=20 educational ones: X-Attitude on SABC1 on=20 Saturdays at 11am is invigorating and=20 informative, mainly because of the spunkily=20 professional hosting by youngsters Sibusiso=20 Vilikazi and Thobi Mkhwanazi. They’re hip=20 and intelligent, without being facetiously=20 egocentric.=20
Another local worth catching is Dumani on=20 SABC1 on Tuesdays at 3pm. It’s a series=20 based on the new Curriculum 2005 and=20 features an animated cartoon bus that takes=20 the young ones (in this case between 7 and=20 10 years old) on a journey to learn a range=20 of subjects – from maths to model-making.=20 Other than that our local infant programme=20 producers are just that, childish.=20
Of the imports available I would hate our=20 kid to watch Mighty Morphin Power Rangers=20 and would actively seek out classic Daffy=20 Duck videos to show him the difference=20 between comic pratfalls and sheer=20 fetishised malicious violence.=20
When he gets a bit older I would encourage=20 him to watch The Simpsons, in the hope that=20 he would understand that family values are=20 a subjective thing. But the show that would=20 be top of the list is Pingu, on SABC2 on=20 Fridays at 9am. It’s my favourite piece of=20 kiddy-telly for those between 0 and 50.
Made by Trickfilmstudio in Switzerland, it=20 has been running for 10 years, but as usual=20 our non-intrepid broadcasters bought one=20 series and are merely rerunning it. It’s a=20 puppet animation series that features a=20 naughty little penguin who lives on the=20 ice-cap with his mother, his postman father=20 and his baby sister Pinga. They live in a=20 small village with the normal shops, a=20 school and numerous abandoned ice=20 sculptures. He’s got some penguin friends=20 and Robby the seal, and some enemies,=20 including a nasty seagull and a huge=20 vicious seal.
What’s great about Pingu is it’s all about=20 family values, much like The Simpsons,=20 without cramming bogus religion-type stuff=20 down one’s maternal/paternal throat. The=20 sweet hero gets up to mischief and is=20 reprimanded; or he runs away from home=20 after refusing to eat his greens and cries=20 in the polar landscape until mum and dad=20 come to fetch him.=20
The show also gives children valuable=20 lessons, like throwing a tantrum might be=20 fun but you won’t get what you want; don’t=20 have a party when your parents are out; a=20 potty can be used as a hat, a football or a=20 drum.=20
The series is pretty funky. The family is=20 very enlightened – dad does the ironing or=20 the knitting while mum reads the paper;=20 Pingu has teeth; penguin babies drink milk=20 from bottles, use dummies and wear nappies.=20
By far the best thing about Pingu is that=20 all the dialogue is virtual gobbledegook -=20 a cute mixture of pidgin Scandinavian with=20 odd English phrases thrown in. When dad=20 scolds the baby he says: “plap, flap, oing,=20 oing, inchi blah, blah son.” You have to=20 love that.