festive season
Stuck in Jo’burg over Christmas and new year? Bridget Hilton-Barber provides some good ideas for things to do
1 Top Star Drive-In. Just because the council can’t afford to switch on the Christmas lights in downtown Jo’burg this year, doesn’t mean festive Gauties should go without a spectacle. The Top Star drive- in still has the best night views in town – and a not-too-tacky double feature if you’re lucky. Pack a cooler box, picnic basket and Scotchguard if you’re planning to get lowdown’n’dirty.
2 Planetarium. Don’t forsake your one chance to spend some time under the African stars without the choking smell of braai smoke or the annoying whine of mosquitoes. The Planetarium today is light years away from the stuffy school-tour style of yore. Learn all about the summer sky and its unique planetary alignments; catch hi-tech images from Pathfinder and the Hubble telescope; find out why Scorpios and Capricorns are so weird. Call (011) 716- 3199.
3 Tswaing. Two hundred thousand years ago, a meteorite slammed into the earth’s crust just outside Soshanguve near Pretoria, creating a large crater lake. It was an outrageous cosmic gesture – and today makes the perfect setting for a surrealist-style day trip. Hike through the surrounding scrubby bushveld, visit an old salt factory and picnic like Salvador Dali at crater’s edge. Call (01214) 98-7302.
4 Witwatersrand National Botanical Gardens near Roodepoort. It ain’t Niagara or the Vic Falls, but if you feel the sudden need for a quick fix of rushing waterfall, head for the Witpoortjie Falls at the Botanical Gardens. Wander through herbariums and conservatories; frolic about the undergrowth; or take binoculars and try to spot the pair of black eagles that hang out in the cliffs. There are picnic spots and a restaurant. Call (011) 958-1750.
5 The Zoo and Zoo Lake. This green belt of Jo’burg remains a firm favourite with those entertaining a spectrum of ages and sexes. You can tire the children out by boat- rowing, duck-feeding and zoo-touring; lose your aged grandparents in the Military History Museum; and take your whining, crime-fearing Australian relatives to see Max the Gorilla. Call the Jo’burg Zoo on 646-2000.
6 Suikerbosrand hiking trail. Remember the days when doing the circuit meant going to the gym and not an endless stream of Christmas parties? Set aside one day to be kind to your body and remind yourself that rosy-cheeked cheer doesn’t only come in bottles. Take a day hike through Suikerbosrand on the outskirts of Jo’burg, near Heidelberg. Call (0151) 2181/2/3.
7 New Chinatown. This little strip of shops, restaurants and supermarkets has sprung up like a delightful surprise in Derrick Road, Cyrildene. It’s a one-stop shop for exotic fare like sushi, raki, three cup chicken, stewed pigs ear and ma poo beancurd. You can also get Oriental trinkets, video CDs, syringe-shaped pencils and tamagotchis for all your friends!
8 The Mediterranean Fish Centre. If the Annual General Eating’s at your place this year, make like a boy scout and be prepared. The Mediterranean Fish Centre in Jules Street, Malvern, is a fine place to stock up on things like fresh fish and calamari, cans of imported tomatoes, giant tins of olives, olive oil and countless boxes of biscuits. Call the Mediterranean on (011) 615-5760.
9 High Tea at the Hyatt. Feeling rich, utterly pretentious and fabulously indulgent? Don a pukka accent and head out to the Park Hyatt in Rosebank for high tea accompanied by the genteel strains of a chamber orchestra. You could even take out a second bond on your house and stay for cocktails! Call the Park Hyatt on (011) 280-1234.
10 Oriental Plaza. Still the best place to fritter away your 13th cheque or profit share or hard-earned savings on
things like plastic flowers, brass knick- knacks, irresistible samoosas, fresh spices, reams of fabrics and everything else you don’t need. The Plaza is also really good for last-minute gifts for people on your Xmas B-list.
11 Jo’burg Botanical Gardens at Emmarentia. The perfect place to take your dog for its annual walk – and discover how badly behaved everyone else’s dogs are too. And apart from yuletide exposure to dog behaviourism in Gauteng, the Emmarentia gardens are also good for people-watching, rose-sniffing, ice-cream-licking and just strolling about in relative safety. Call (011) 782-0517.
12 Ice skating at the Carlton. Still dreaming of a white Christmas? The Carlton Skyrink is your best bet in Joeys – and there’s an excellent chance you’ll come face-to-face with some real hard and chilly, wintry ice. Wear thick socks, thick jerseys and a brave face. Smuggle in sachets of vodka if you must. Call (011) 331-2541.
13 Natural History Museum. You’ll probably learn more in one morning here than you will on a holiday driving around the Kruger with a carful of tetchy toddlers and irritable in-laws. See all the delights of the natural world without having to worry about being charged by elephants or overcharged by curio sellers. Call (012) 322-7632.
14 Jo’burg Art Gallery. It’s running the gauntlet through the sleazy environs of Joubert Park that adds that extra rush to a festive trip to the Johannesburg Art Gallery. The people outside may not have homes, but the gallery still houses the most comprehensive and intriguing collection of artworks this side of the Limpopo. And you can take in tea at their restaurant where they still put pigeon- repellent on the window ledges to stop the artless build-up of guano! Call (011) 725- 3180.
15 Ghost Evening at Sammy Marks House. A waitress here once claimed to have had her bottom pinched by an invisible entity. Other staff have confirmed “unusual happenings”. Find out for yourself whether the ghost of Sammy Marks’s bookkeeper still wanders disconsolately about this old house. Book for their ghost evening – a four-course feast in the old cellar, plus a midnight romp through the graciously landscaped gardens. There are also champagne breakfasts for the faint of heart. Call (012) 803-6158.
16 Prison Museum. Christmas is a time to remember those less fortunate than yourself – and what better way to count your blessings than a to take a whistle-stop tour through the interesting prison museum at Pretoria Central. The exhibits are a bizarre and fascinating account of the history of the prison system – and include old photographs, various whips, chains and handcuffs as well as the false hand of a convict who tried to escape! Call (012) 353-6771.
17 Rhino Park at the Kromdraai Conservancy. If you’ve already taken the kids to the bunny park and want to introduce them to something bigger – head for the rhino park near Krugersdorp. At the very least, it’s an excellent reminder of why you didn’t opt for that game reserve holiday. Call (011) 957-0109.
18 Sterkfontein. Since Christmas is also the time to remember the aged, spare a thought for Mrs Ples – Plesianthropus transvaalensis, the two-million-year-old fossilised skeleton at Sterkfontein who was discovered by Dr Robert Broom. You can also gaze in open-jawed amazement at the dripstone formations and silent underground lakes. There are picnic grounds, a restaurant and – aaarrrghhh – guided tours. Call (011) 956-6342.
19 Ludwig’s Roses near Wonderboom. Purists will insist that rose gardening has never been the same since they named a rose after Naas Botha – but if you’re in the market for some festive blooms, Ludwig’s Nursery near Wonderboom is still a fabulous place to seek out sweet-smelling treasures and have a cup of tea. Call Ludwig’s on 012 544-0144.
20 The Yard in Pretoria. Pretoria, as they keep telling us, is lekker. If you’re in the mood for rocks around the clock – head for the ochre-washed, lavender-hedged collection of shops they call The Yard. This, my friends, is where the spirit of Provence mingles with the smells of Morocco and the sounds of Afrikaans. It’s hip, hep and groovy. There are funky art shops, espresso bars, trendy homeware and farmfare shops and a cocktail joint called the Boere-Bar. Don’t miss the fine Moroccan fare at Mostaphas. The Yard is on the corner of Duncan and Prospect Streets in Hatfield. Call (012) 342-9950.