Marthali Brand : Spending it
United States President Bill Clinton is still regretting the day he told the world he never inhaled. But if he had been speaking about cigars, he would not only have avoided embarrassment, he’d have won points for doing the right thing.
Not inhaling is one of the golden rules of cigar smoking, along with the ban against licking the ends of a stogie. Aficionados consider this in very bad taste and, contrary to popular belief, it won’t help moisten a dried-out cigar.
Other rules are only smoke in the company of people who don’t mind, and never knock off the ash. A cigar with a tall head of ash is smoother and easier on the mouth, and it’s a hell of a kick to have an ash longer than anyone else at the dinner table.
Cigar connoisseurs agree the best smokes still come from Cuba, and even in the US, where all Cuban products are banned, fanatics will pay thousands for boxes that were shipped out of Cuba before the embargo.
Urban legend has it that former US president JF Kennedy sent an aide out one evening to buy up all the Havanas he could find. The president was mighty pleased when the aide returned with 1 200 of his favourite brand – and promptly announced the Cuban embargo the next day.
Fortunately, in South Africa we can have all the Havanas we can afford. According to Willemien Hoogenboezem, owner of the Tabac cigar shop in Pretoria, the most popular Cuban cigars in the world are the Montecristo No 4 and No 5. Montecristos come in a variety of shapes and sizes, with one of the biggest, the torpedo-shaped No 2, costing about R70 each.
But Cuba is not the only country that produces premium cigars. The Netherlands, Switzerland and Germany are famous for their small, mild brands, ideal for the cigar novice. The La Paz range, for instance, is machine rolled and available as small cigarillos, retailing for about R15 for a box of 10, or in the bigger corona size, at about R200 for 20.
A new Dutch range only recently available in the country is the PGC Hajenius, offering a top-of-the-range Grand Finale at R175 for three. Smaller PGC cigars retail at about R66 for 10.
Once you’ve gotten the hang of the habit, you can graduate to cigars from Jamaica and the Dominican Republic, and some of the milder brands from Cuba. The Macanudo range, for instance, goes from the smallest cigarillos to the big double coronas, selling at between R35 and R50 each.
Then you can move on to the real thing: Havanas. Jose L Piedra Brevas are cheaper cigars costing between R7 and R12. Made from the same Cuban tobacco as more costly ranges, they are less expensive because they are rolled by novices.
A popular but more expensive Cuban cigar is the Cohuba, the kind you see dangling from Fidel Castro’s lips at state functions and press conferences. Cohubas range in price from R60 to R160 for the aptly named esplendido.
Cuban tobacco, together with leaves from Brazil and Indonesia, is used to make South Africa’s only locally produced cigars, Serengetis. This Johannesburg-based company’s products come highly recommended by the South African cigar club Cigafrique, and local expert Theo Rudman, author of Rudman’s Complete Guide to Cigars.
According to owner Leo Hamel, Serengetis are the only handmade cigars in the world to contain nine tobaccos, seven of which are used in the filler (the middle part), with different leaves for the binder (which holds the filler) and the wrapper (the outside).
Serengetis range in price from R8 to R38 for a single cigar. Buying in bulk, as always, works out cheaper, from R200 for a box of 25 panatellas, the smallest, to R950 for a box of Churchills, the biggest.
And yes, the Churchill was named after Winston, who apparently smoked 10 a day. A traditional Churchill is a straight cigar, 178mm long by 18,65mm in diameter.
More than 70 different shapes and sizes of cigars are produced in Cuba alone, with variations in even these defined styles. Worldwide the most popular size is the straight (or parejos) corona (142mm by 16,67mm).
Cigars also come in irregular shapes (or figurados). These include the torpedo, which has a pointed head (the part you stick in your mouth), and culebras, three thin cigars, plaited and held together with thread, but smoked separately. Culebras are not widely available in South Africa, but if you can get your hands on one, it would set you back between R160 and R180.
Although the thicker cigars may seem intimidating at first, it is actually better to start with a short fat one, because they draw easier, burn at a lower temperature and take less time to finish.
And don’t think cigars are only for macho men: famous cigar smokers include Catherine the Great, Marlene Dietrich and even blonde model Claudia Schiffer.
As any yuppie knows, the only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorise, and cigar smoking is no different.
The dedicated aficionado won’t be able to do without a special cigar ashtray, big enough to hold even the most intimidating Churchill.
Traditionalists frown on the use of butane blowtorches, but Rudman considers them best for lighting up. Tabac sells a pocket blowtorch that burns at 1 300C, hot enough to boil water in Antarctica, according to Hoogenboezem, for R219.
Guillotine cutters cost between R30 and R500, depending on the size, shape and make, while the all-important humidifiers cost only about R25.
And to make sure that you’re never too far away from your favourite coronas, you can purchase a travel humidor (cigar case) for anything from R500 to R9 000.