David le Page
Many would guess that the cheapest way to stop is to go cold turkey overnight. But in all but a rare few cases this approach is likely to take its toll in discarded friends left with their heads chewed off, kilograms gained and expanded grocery bills, chewed nails and kicked dogs. Some may get away with sucking their thumbs.
For those intimidated by this approach, science offers as a first alternative the nicotine patch. If you are, for example, smoking 40 Camel lights a day, a seven-day course of patches will cost you about R64,95. The number and strength of the patches you need depends on your smoking habit.
But it probably won’t hurt you much to push up to R175 for a 21-day course. After all, 40 a day is quite a lot, and it’s unlikely you’ll come close to discarding the psychological habit in a week, even if you have avoided the worst cravings.
Smokenders is a well-known organisation that helps you set targets for stopping over seven weeks, through two-hour lectures once a week. If you can’t persuade your employers to sponsor you and the other addicts wearing down the linoleum in the stairwell, this course will set you back R800 (a refundable R200 deposit if the introductory lecture doesn’t appeal).
You may be fortunate enough to be on Momentum Health’s Discovery Vitality plan, in which case you will need only the R200 deposit. The Discovery plan takes care of the rest, and you will enjoy the benefits of earning 5 000 points on the Vitality programme (which rewards a healthy lifestyle). Your dependents are not quite so eligible, but still qualify for a reduced cost of R600.
Smokenders claim an initial 90% success rate, and say 82% of their clients remain tobacco- free zones after three years. There is a catch, though. “Bring your cigarettes!” trumpets Smokenders’s publicity. You will be continuing the habit for the first five weeks, so include the cost of your fags when budgeting for the course.
Finally, there is hypnotism. Hypnotherapist Terry Winchester believes that conventional methods of stopping smoking may work up to a point, but do not address the subconscious habits of thought that are the root cause of your filthy habit.
Relying on willpower obviously only works in proportion to individual determination. Winchester will teach you a method of self- hypnotism in a group for R350 (or individually for R1 000) which will not only help you cancel out those nicotine cravings, but can also help in dealing with stress and anxiety.
Perhaps you should begin by assessing the costs of giving up smoking by thinking back to why you started, and why you continued.
If in your case the evolution of manual dexterity has culminated in an anxious slow dance with a little white cylinder and you don’t know what you’re going to do with your hands, perhaps you should consider taking up knitting.
Jeanette’s Knitting School in Johannesburg will help you acquire the skill for R80 a month (visiting once a week) or R150 a month (visiting daily).
If yours began as a social habit (not a crutch), and you’ve never been a heavy smoker, you may well find that cold turkey suits you just fine.
But if you’re part of the corps de ballet, are accustomed to letting the front row count your ribs and rely on thick make-up to conceal your prematurely withered hide, your smoking probably serves a far deeper purpose – not putting on weight. Stopping smoking will require therapy, consultations with a good nutritionist and living on something stronger than coffee. Get out the chequebook.