/ 23 November 2001

The chief of staff replies …

The general staff has reviewed your request. Whilst we are familiar with the ordeal you must be experiencing and sympathise with you we cannot for the following reasons resort to the form of training you suggest.

The solution you recommend is generated purely from a male perspective and as such will most surely be rejected by Brenda.

The results will be short-lived. A temporary halt to normal female practices will generally be followed by an increased rate of activity in the very behaviours that you wish to curb.

The damage to your financial status will be immense as she exercises her freedom in various mall excursions to make up for lost shopping. It is our opinion that a Joint Integrated Recovery Operation (JIRO) be planned with the full input and cooperation of your partner … We look forward to your return to full coupled operative status in the not too distant future.