Mac the Knife
The manne were as curious as the rest of South African TV viewers when they caught sight of Mac Maharaj during an SABC newsclip of a rally in Lindelani outside Durban on Saturday. What was the chief conspiracy theorist doing whispering sweet nothings into Deputy President Jacob Zuma’s ear, we wondered?
Well, apparently Oom Mac was an uninvited guest at the rally, called by the Congress of South African Trade Unions to commemorate the famous 1973 Durban strikes that revived worker militancy in the country. The organisers were apparently as surprised as Lemmer when Mac, who has long ceased to be associated with the organised left, rocked up.
Pride parade
Oom Krisjan has always been a bit leery of the Proudly South African campaign, being of the belief that anyone who thinks we need to be constantly reminded to be proud of our country has a rather low opinion of our people.
So he was quite amused to hear about Nedbank’s recent trials and tribulations in its efforts to support the campaign. As part of the bank’s contribution to the recent ”Proudly South African Week” (we only have to be proud for one week of the year?) Nedbank decided to commission thousands of Proudly South African lapel badges, which members of the public were invited to purchase at R5 a shot.
Alas, it turned out that the badges, with a local content of at least 72%, were not very proudly manufactured. Indeed, Nedbank was very unhappy with the quality thereof, which is why, if you pop into your local branch, you will see a notice to this effect, along with an invitation to the public to help themselves to a lapel badge for free, gratis, niks and mahala.
Perhaps, as a proud South African, you too will be struck by the irony of Proudly South African lapel badges being so shoddily manufactured that a Proudly South African bank is obliged to give them away to other proud South Africans.
Next time, maybe Nedbank should just go ahead and use its usual suppliers in Taiwan.
In register
Lemmer is pleased to see that the Cabinet is keeping an open mind on elections. At this week’s meeting it decided that, in terms of voter registration, ”even if an individual has not yet decided which party she or he would vote for, or whether she or he would come out to vote, it is advisable to register; and then take one’s own time to decide on these matters”.
Oddly enough, Oom Krisjan always thought allowing people to make up their own minds was one of the cornerstones of democracy.
Not keen enough
The Sowetan has given new meaning to the idea of a match preview. On Wednesday it carried a glowing pre-match analysis of how the gum-chewing knight, Sir Alex Ferguson, was looking to mark the week of his 17th anniversary in charge at Old Trafford with victory over his former team, Scottish giants Rangers. ”Ferguson looking for a Keane edge” ran the headline, in reference to temperamental captain Roy Keane. Trouble is, Man U had demolished their northern rivals 3-0 the previous night.
Seeing the light
Here in the Dorsbult, where regular employment is something enjoyed by the lucky few, there’s always a bit of an argument over who gets first look at the job ads in the local newspaper. Oom Krisjan, of course, merely glances through to check on the latest euphemisms for secretarial work.
But every now and again, an advert catches his eye because of its singular inappropriate phrasing. An ad for senior training coordinator and administrator for the Cape Town Society for the Blind has this interesting requirement: ”The successful candidate will need to be an excellent vision-driven person with strong leadership skills.”
Know thine enemy
Lemmer sometimes wonders about the visdorpie. At the Somerset West Mall this week, he is told, estate agents Seeff Properties had a large display board listing properties it is selling in the Boland area. One property was apparently listed as being ”close to all enmities”.
Taking no chances
Perhaps these dangerous neighbourly liaisons could explain a curious occurrence outside the National Assembly last Friday. A black BMW with blue lights pulled up, a bigger black BMW followed and then another black BMW with blue lights. The convoy was flanked by a black 4×4 with blue lights. A posse of bodyguards jumped out and the eight men scanned the area.
Who should step out of the big black BMW without blue lights? None other than Deputy President Jacob Zuma — en route to address a book launch and conference hosted at Parliament. With all the fuss about spies before the Hefer commission (and Mac showing up in all sorts of strange places) one can never be too fussy about security…
No dopes
Lemmer is not sure whether Trevor Manuel subscribes to Forbes magazine but in case he doesn’t, Oom would respectfully like to draw the finance minister’s attention to this month’s issue.
According to a report in The Guardian, the respected business magazine is drawing investors’ attention to a booming North American industry. The cover story claims Canada’s most valuable agricultural product — ahead of wheat, cattle and timber — is now dagga.
”What makes the industry so powerful, suggests Forbes, is that the growers are ‘not a small coterie of drug lords who could be decimated with a few well-targeted prosecutions, but an army of ordinary folks’.
”Small growers look to bring in $900 a pound, with net profit margins ranging from 55% to 90%, reports the magazine, something that places marijuana alongside some of the dotcom enterprises in terms of return on investment percentages.”